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Mum pregnant with 13th baby, 12 taken by ss

(132 Posts)
ChopsTheDuck Thu 30-Jul-09 13:25:29

here

Feel so sorry for the babies, being born under those circumstances. A case for enforced sterislisation if there ever was one!

FAQtothefuture Thu 30-Jul-09 13:30:49

no - pregnant with 14th baby - 13 others taken into care by SS.

Well it's the DM - and I try to be objective about DM articles - but I'm REALLY struggling to find a way to rationalise this one........

EldonAve Thu 30-Jul-09 13:32:24

Sorry I disagree there is no case for enforced sterilisation
Education might help though

sarah293 Thu 30-Jul-09 13:34:35

Message withdrawn

IdrisTheDragon Thu 30-Jul-09 13:39:02

I can't think of anything to say.

cyteen Thu 30-Jul-09 13:40:51

Everything about this story is depressing, including the Mail's detailing of her benefit payments.

KERALA1 Thu 30-Jul-09 13:41:05

Makes me question my position of not going for a longed for third (who would be loved and properly cared for) because of my worries about overpopulation!

phdlife Thu 30-Jul-09 13:41:38

No, I feel sorry for the mother - imagine the heartbreak. I would love to think that SS came up with lots of other support to help her keep her babies that the DM failed to report, but somehow I don't think so.

FAQtothefuture Thu 30-Jul-09 13:43:32

phd - was there even time between pregnancies to provide the support and education??

SausageRocket Thu 30-Jul-09 13:44:19

Quick Q.

What is the point of listing their financial situation ? Why does it matter how much money they get from the state. Should the fact that they claim numerous benefits be a reason for them not to keep a child ? Or does it merely fulfil the DM's objective of painting benefit claimants as greedy, lazy, scroungers with a sideoder of selfish, neglectful parenting ?

There's no doubt (in my mind at least) that this couple are outrageously selfish in continuing to have children knowing that they will be turfed into the care system but I can't help but think that their financial status is pretty irrelevant to the story of them being neglectful parents.

If this couple do truly wish to keep one of their children then they are going completely the wrong way about it (unstatement of the year) and I agree with the poster who suggests that education and support are perhaps closer to being an answer than 'enforced sterilization'.

cyteen Thu 30-Jul-09 13:45:40

Exactly SausageRocket. I also wonder why it was deemed necessary to include a photo of one of the babies who later died.

ChopsTheDuck Thu 30-Jul-09 13:47:26

I'm sure ss will have made some effort to educate her, I doubt they stand by and keep taking these babeis without talking to her.

I don't agree with enforced sterilisation as such, but it's horrible in this situation that ss hands are completely tied and she can keep churning out children she knows she can't keep. sad

I agree the benefits isn't really relevant. I only linked to the daily mail as the story seemed to have more info directly from the family.

SausageRocket Thu 30-Jul-09 13:47:50

photos or any of the children are totally unnecessary, imho

ChopsTheDuck Thu 30-Jul-09 13:48:00

I'm sure ss will have made some effort to educate her, I doubt they stand by and keep taking these babeis without talking to her.

I don't agree with enforced sterilisation as such, but it's horrible in this situation that ss hands are completely tied and she can keep churning out children she knows she can't keep. sad

I agree the benefits isn't really relevant. I only linked to the daily mail as the story seemed to have more info directly from the family.

bronze Thu 30-Jul-09 13:49:41

Ok its dm but if she really 'vowed to keep on giving birth until she is allowed to keep one.'

Then thats enough to make me think she shouldn't have kids

'

minko Thu 30-Jul-09 13:52:51

The DM only lists benefit payments so all the mean old biddies that read it can seethe about their hard earned taxes going to these 'undeserving types'...

lal123 Thu 30-Jul-09 13:54:25

dear God - the woman needs help. What kind or from whom I don't know!

SausageRocket Thu 30-Jul-09 13:54:28

I may be jumping to conclusions about this couple but they don't strike me as the sharpest tools in the box, so I can see that perhaps it wouldn't occur to them that they have no chance of keeping a child (no matter how many they produce) without taking steps to show that they are responsible, mature adults now.

The connection doesn't seem to be being made in their minds that they will have to prove themselves responsible rather than simply overtly fertile.

Besom Thu 30-Jul-09 13:59:47

Yes more funding for support and education needed in general, but there are plenty of people who will not accept support or education no matter how much is offered.

Not in favour of enforced sterilisation. That should never be an option.

NormaSknockers Thu 30-Jul-09 14:12:06

I'm utterly shocked.

Surely SS should be working with this mother to allow her some visitation with her children rather then just taking them away & making her feel like she needs to have another baby to fill the void? Or at least working with them to help them understand where they're going wrong & how they can improve themselves as parents? (I don't mean that to sound condescending btw)

I don't agree with enforced sterilisation either.

GetOrfMoiLand Thu 30-Jul-09 14:28:23

I think it is very, very sad. I disagree that this should be a case of 'enforced sterilisation'. Please remember that the DM does not give a balanced and intelligent report to any story.

It looks as if these two are probably low IQ and could do with having some support from Social Services.

But God knows. Because it is the DM we have to take everything with a pinch of salt.

Besom Thu 30-Jul-09 14:31:43

It says she did have some contact and presumably there was a reason why that stopped.

edam Thu 30-Jul-09 14:37:47

I've heard about this sort of thing before. Apparently it is a grief response - women are so desperate for a baby they keep getting pregnant in the hope that SS will let them keep this one.

Desperately sad. In an ideal world, what this couple needs is education and support that would help them address whatever the problems are that see them judged as likely to be inadequate parents.

Besom Thu 30-Jul-09 15:10:25

It is very sad and I agree that she will be grieving. But why does everyone think they haven't been offered education and support? Education and support sadly doesn't solve everyone's problems because some people will not or cannot accept the support they are offered.

For instance if there is a drug or alcohol problem then the person needs to be willing and able to accept support. Otherwise ss/health whoever can try to support them until they're blue in the face. It won't work.

I don't know what the case is here, obviously.

QOD Thu 30-Jul-09 15:15:00

I thought I read somewhere that she has commented to her sister that if "they" keep taking her babies away she will keep having them so that "they" have to pay to bring them up? Like a well, you don't let me keep them but I'm gonna let you keep (as in pay for) them

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