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3 sisters pg at 12, 14 and 16 - mother blames school for lack of sex education

(250 Posts)
suzywong Mon 23-May-05 05:56:24

Of course it was in the Sun

I do not want to get in to the benefit angle at all, I just wonder if anyone else has any ideas about how to get the contraception message through to girls? I mean one of these kids was PG 3 times prior to this at under 16! Their mother blames the schools for not starting sex ed early enough.

What do you think?

lockets Mon 23-May-05 06:03:23

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch Mon 23-May-05 06:06:43

I think it's awful. They are just too young to be parents. The mother has to take some blame imho. I'm shocked at children having sex at 12 actually, what's the world coming to? <shuffles off on zimmer frame>

WideWebWitch Mon 23-May-05 06:07:43

I don't know what can be done though. I can't even begin to understand the root causes of this.

suzywong Mon 23-May-05 06:08:51

I feel very sorry for all those TTC, actually. It would seem that they sould stop looking for EWM and watching the calendar but hang round with young girls and get part of their common sense removed.

happymerryberries Mon 23-May-05 06:32:02

Absolute bollocks that schools don't explain sex and contraception early enough. It is in the year 7 scheme of work when the children are 11 years old ffs!

The schools will have presented the children with the infomation. Prehaps the mother sgould ask herself why her children were not listening!

The mother should be flaming ashamed of herself, not parading her brood, blaming everyone except herself. She should be told, repeatedly, that she should have been responsible for her own children , not the poor teachers who see them for a few hours a week.

I get sick of reading this sort of crap, I realy do.

The kids would have know, they just didn't care. We should we working on the reasons why that is.

nightowl Mon 23-May-05 06:35:12

i dont blame the school. i blame the mother. matter how old we are we can make mistakes and do silly things. my second child was a complete accident. but wtf? three girls pregnant at such a young age? how were these girls being brought up? i just cant believe that this is nothing to do with their upbringing...not three of them.

happymerryberries Mon 23-May-05 06:39:32

Everyone can have an accident, but as you say three??? And for a 12 year old?????

starshaker Mon 23-May-05 07:23:48

its not the schools fault its the mothers she should have given them the talk but the think since the school does it she didnt need to bother its her responsability not the schools. if a kid robbed a bank would it be the schools fault for not telling them it was wrong.... nope didnt think so

starshaker Mon 23-May-05 07:24:42

its not the schools fault its the mothers she should have given them the talk but the think since the school does it she didnt need to bother its her responsability not the schools. if a kid robbed a bank would it be the schools fault for not telling them it was wrong.... nope didnt think so

happymerryberries Mon 23-May-05 07:28:25

More to the point do we all want schools to be taking the leadi in moral/social education?

I'm a teacher and I am happy to tell kids the scientific facts of lfe. As a Mother I am happy to tell them about the practical consequences of having a child. But my morals and not going to be the same as everyone on MN, let alone the parents of the kids I teach.

I try to instil into my kids the values that I think are important. And not having a kid when you are a child yourself is one of those. I'm not going to say 'no sex or you are damned' but what right to I have to give my message to other people's children?

Our kids are our responsibility. I want to educate children, not house train them! I'm sick of trying to educate feral kids who have no idea of the difference between right and wrong. I'm their teacher not their parent!

suzywong Mon 23-May-05 07:30:37

very good point HMB, why don't the kids care? Although one of them, I think the eldest, wants to go on and do A levels and get a job. Shame her younger sisters didn't learn from her experience and tragic that he mother clearly absolves herself from nine tenths of her parental responsibility

tiffini Mon 23-May-05 07:35:01

if the school was to blame, would'nt there be more young mothers who attended that same school.

And surely you would notice your 12 yr old was pregnant long before 7 months.

chenin Mon 23-May-05 07:41:30

I do not understand parents like this - aren't they at all in tune with their children? How would you not notice until one of them was seven months pregnant. I have two teenage d's and just know that I would have noticed what they were up to. My DD2 is 13 and I still know where she is all the time - obviously the Mother is too busy planning what she is going to put in her new bigger house with all that extra money coming in!

noddyholder Mon 23-May-05 07:44:30

It is not the fault of the school IMO

whimsy Mon 23-May-05 07:48:27

I read this story in the local paper yesterday and was shocked
I blame the mother and she still claims family allowance herself for two of the girls. The mind boggles.

elsmommy Mon 23-May-05 07:52:08

They ain't got enough money but they can afford Nike trainers...Hmmmm

I think its terrible. I'll take responsibility to teach my daughter about these things, not leave it to the school.

SoupDragon Mon 23-May-05 07:59:10

As a complete aside, what on earth is the youngest girl's baby wearing??

This is absolutely the fault of the mother. One daughter getting pregnant once could be blamed on a lack of education but not 6 pregnancies.

I'm also curious as to what happened to the fathers - surely in 2 of the cases it is rape? I wonder how old they were.

Catbert Mon 23-May-05 08:11:18

One was a "38 year old gambler"...

Nice that he chooses to gamble with a lot more than just money.

These stories make me sad for the lives that some people live. Tragic.

As for it being the fault of the school

sobernow Mon 23-May-05 08:12:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy Mon 23-May-05 09:01:38

Fault and responsibility, especially for the younger child, and the fact that all 3 daughters have been pg, must lie with the mother.

Windermere Mon 23-May-05 09:01:41

It is the fault of the mother not the school. I am 32 and when I was at school most of my peers were also having sex at around 13/14. It was mainly down to low self esteem and complete lack of parental control. Most of my friends admitted that they did not actually want a sexual relationship but did not feel assertive enough to say 'no', they all knew about contraception but were too embrassed to visit GP for the pill and again not assertive enough to insist their boyfriends used condoms. A few of my classmates fell pregnant and had abortions only one kept her baby. I don't blame the teachers although I do have to say that we were told on a daily basis that they did not want to teach us and that we would not amount to anything, in most cases this was true, a lot of the boys were heavily involved in drink/drugs by the time they were 20 and a lot of the girls had a couple of kids by the time they were 20. A few of the girls I have kept in touch with have admitted that they had kids early because they did not know what else to do and they wanted to be independent.

I was considered strange because I chose to spend my twenties travelling, having a good time and building a career. I have a 9 month old ds and yet some of my classmates have grandchildren! It is a very sad sign of the times.

Gwenick Mon 23-May-05 09:05:58

And surely you would notice your 12 yr old was pregnant long before 7 months.

I've got a friend (in her early 20's I should add) who had 2 children. I met her when she only had the one - and she was nearly due before anyone noticed she was pg - she went from a size 6 - to a size 10......... - and straight back to a 6 after the baby was born.

I guess if she usually wore 'baggy' clothes and was like my friend it could have been possible for her mum not to notice???

Anyhow, think it's ridiculous that she blames the school!!

Frizbe Mon 23-May-05 09:06:26

I'd love to say stunning, but I was brought up just outside Nottingham and there were 7 girls pregnant in our year when we left school, and that was 15 years ago.....Nottm has the worst rate of teen pregnancy in the also has Europes largest council estate.....and Derby is not far behind.....I'm not wanting to start a class war here, but there is a correlation between the two.... I'll just qualify this statement by letting you know that both of my parents were brought up on council estates by hard working parents, with morals and values, that seem to be missing in places these days.

katzguk Mon 23-May-05 09:12:09

was just about to start a thread on the very same article!!

'its the school fault' - how?

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