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Head teachers back call for compulsory parenting lessons

(30 Posts)
Caligula Tue 03-May-05 11:22:40


What screamed out at me in this article was the total absence of any mention of fathers.


grumpyfrumpy Tue 03-May-05 11:25:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chandra Tue 03-May-05 11:27:46

About time!

starlover Tue 03-May-05 11:28:28

yeah, but not everyone needs help. I would find it very patronising were I expected to attend, and lost my child benefit if I didn't.
I happen to be (in my own opinion!) bringing up my son very well, and I don't need other people telling me how.
I can see it working on families who have problem children, but to be honest I think a lot of them just aren't willing to change. They don't want to do anything that puts them out or changes how they want to live, and unfortunately that includes bringing up children

JoolsToo Tue 03-May-05 11:33:31

actually I think this is a bit 'after the horse has bolted' and don't think these parents would take kindly to being told 'you need lessons in parenting'! they'd probably tell you to 'F' off! Stopping child benefit? I don't think so!

The importance of a regular routine, teaching a child the difference between 'yes' and 'no' and the necessity of communicating civilly - if it can't/won't be taught at home should be very evident in the school environment when kids are still learning and (hopefully) still receptive - with teachers given full powers to enforce same.

beansmum Tue 03-May-05 11:34:40

I have better things to do than listen to someone tell me how to bring up my child. The parents who really need the help probably wouldn't bother going and for everyone else it's just one more thing to fit into an already busy week.

handlemecarefully Tue 03-May-05 11:35:28

No I wouldn't be too bowled over by mandatory parenting sessions either

Chandra Tue 03-May-05 11:39:04

I don't have a problem attending classes even if I think I don't need them if that means that the parents of some dangerous of brats around here would also attend them. And you never know when the things learned in class may come handy, specially when the bad behaviour of other children starts to rub on yours.

handlemecarefully Tue 03-May-05 11:40:14

My 'problem' would be more in terms of inconvenience, practicalities etc. I bet they wouldn't be at a time to suit or a location to suit - and you don't need that hassle when you have a new baby

Caligula Tue 03-May-05 11:40:23

I think in principle the offer of parenting classes to everyone is a good idea - it takes the stigma away if every family attends, rather than just the "problem" ones. But I find the idea that mothers should be made responsible for attending and not fathers, really offensive. And the idea that it should be compulsory is probably counter-productive, because if people are there because they are forced to be, they're not going to hear the message anyway.

misdee Tue 03-May-05 11:41:37

"used obscenities they heard at home as nouns, adjectives and verbs - "clearly showing they can sequence familiar vocabulary into sentences", she said at the conference in Telford, Shropshire.

When she had raised this with one mother, the woman had said "we use the F word all the time - but we don't swear."

When she pointed out that was what had concerned the school, the mother said "I thought you meant real swearing."


Caligula Tue 03-May-05 11:41:44

And I also agree that when you have a new baby, those parenting classes had better bloody well be in walking distance and not before 11AM!

Caligula Tue 03-May-05 11:42:21

Made me larf too Misdee. What on earth is real swearing in this woman's world?!

ScummyMummy Tue 03-May-05 11:42:36

I'd bunk off, myself.

fairyfly Tue 03-May-05 11:43:41

I would love it if the father of my children was made to go on one. I don't need to obviously as i am perfect, but he needs an intense course, perhaps they could do it alongside, how one can stop being a cockend in ten easy steps.

Mum2girls Tue 03-May-05 11:44:05

Something needs to be done, yes. But a blanket approach to all mothers? Nanny state gone mad.

And yes I also have a problem with the absence of fathers in this article.

Gobbledigook Tue 03-May-05 11:44:36

This is a difficult one for a lot of the reasons already mentioned.

I certainly didn't, and don't, need any parenting classes - apart from the fact that I know what I'm doing thank you very much, I've got a Mum close by who is there whenever I need her, a fantastic network of RL friends with children the same age as all 3 of mine plus Mumsnet of course!!

I would have been none too chuffed to have been obliged to attend lessons that would probably have been a complete waste of my time (and the teachers) just so I could receive my child benefit.

I think others are right that those who probably need help most are those that would be less likely to attend - I just don't know actually how we'd get round that.

WideWebWitch Tue 03-May-05 12:39:03

ff, you do make me laugh! Caligula, fathers aren't mentioned because all societal ills are down to bad mothering dontcha know? I wouldn't be impressed at being made to go either.

batters Tue 03-May-05 12:58:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flashingnose Tue 03-May-05 13:35:30

Agree this should be parenting rather than "mothering" but....I still think it's a good idea . Who cares if you don't need it - if it gets those parents who do need it through the door (and whose offspring may be responsible in the future for bullying yours) then that has to be a good thing, surely?

bundle Tue 03-May-05 13:38:03

agree with flashingnose, and if you saw some of the - ahem - parenting that goes on round my way, you might be willing to be patronised for the benefit of others..

flashingnose Tue 03-May-05 13:40:20

Indeed bundle

tarantula Tue 03-May-05 13:41:23

Well guess Ill be alright then re Child benefit as its dp who claims it and noone is forcing him to do parenting lessons according to this article.

tarantula Tue 03-May-05 13:46:16

Seriously tho for couples who are together (and people who have split up but are on reasonable terms) I think that parenting lessons that both parents have to attend would be a good idea as it would also give parents an opportunity to assess how they parent as a team and how they can back up each other etc etc as well as giving tips on dealing with behaviour IYSWIM

JulieF Tue 03-May-05 14:46:56

I think its a daft idea. After all, as the mother (and I agree where are the fathers) of a new born baby, you are really not interested in techniqies for when your little darling is a pre-schooler or older.

And there are so many different styles of parenting too, you only have to read all the AP/Gina/amcking debates on here.

I think these headmasters need to get in the real world (and I speak as the wife of a teacher)

The ones who need this sort of thing are the ones who would take no notice anyway.

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