Talk

Oh God that's horrible.

It makes me feel physically sick.....

Words fail me, it all so awful.

so how do i safe guard my kids? i'm sure people don't just hand their kids to strangers. i'm kinda worried because i just figured i didn't have to worry until my kid got a little older.

this reminds me of the cases of baby rape in certain parts of the world where the men thought having sex with a virgin could rid them of HIV.

but this is britain they are talking about.

Something that seems to be missing here is that the abusers aren't always men.

i don't know dittany. I think it's just making it easier for them to feed their sick desires.

mrz - no but the vast majority of them are.

is the only thing i can do to protect my child to keep him with me? (i'm due in a few weeks)

my parents were really overprotective, my dad was a stay at home dad and didn't let us out of his sight except when we were at school and even then he volunteered all he could to keep an eye on us.

eandz it is a hard one.

I frankly didn't let my kids out of my sight for years. But ds1 also has health problems.

The only time I did was when I left them with their father.

But in all fairness there was always the thought at the back of my mind....

You don't have to wrap them up in cotton wool. They can have normal childhoods. You don't have to hover over them.

But in all honesty I personally would never leave them alone with a man except their father (as I have no choice in that). Some would say that is an extreme view to take but I was abused by multiple perverts during the course of my childhood.

one was a babysitter

one was a trusted family friend

two were near relatives.

my dad was sexually abused as a child. he was VERY overprotective.

"During the past year more than 130 British children have been rescued by CEOP officials from paedophiles, the majority from their own homes".

The problem with articles like this is that it makes all parents panic and worry that there are paedophiles everywhere ready to snatch their children. Tragically the vast majority of abuse is carried out by relatives of those children - often fathers/grandfathers/step-fathers, etc.

How do you know if your nearest and dearest are potential abusers? God only knows. It's a hideous dilemma.

That made me feel ill.

dittany, I think that was what I was trying to say but maybe didn't phrase it too well - the article is trying to say exactly that, but what actually happens is that we get all the panic about stranger danger which is actually incredibly rare.

It's such a hideous thought isn't it, that someone you know could hurt your children like that?

Dittany, from your post:-
Detectives believe that the proliferation of child abuse sites has created more paedophiles than they would otherwise expect.

That is very frightening. Why don't these people go and get help for themselves, they know so well that this is wrong. Paedophilia is so known to be wrong and harmful, who hasn't heard of it these days? People are being introduced to it now through the internet but surely they must already be paedophiles or they would be shocked and upset if they came across a site like this by accident so they would avoid these sites in future?

so seriously, should i just keep my baby to my bosom the whole time?

my dad did that but his quality of life was really shot. his number one priority was our safety. in fact he became so obsessive about it it was the reason he had to stop work and my mother had to support us all.

my father was sexually abused, but he was sexually abused in foster care...he thinks no men are safe and that sometimes women look the other way just to avoid 'rocking the boat'.

i know it's a dangerous world and everything, but whats a good rule of thumb?

my fil creeps me out a lot to be honest. should i only let him hold my son if i'm around?

eandz there is careful and there is obsessive. Obsessive is not a good rule of thumb imo.

I personally would not leave any child of mine alone with another male.

Some may say that is obsessive.

I say it's necessary caution.

what signs do i look for in relatives?

my dad feels like no man should be left alone with any child. and if someone takes too much interest in my children i should be extra careful, especially if they try to form bonds with my kids by making extra efforts. like gifts, candy, offers of babysitting. but then my husband and mother think he's just being paranoid.

jesus the profile of a sex offender is mind blowingly accurate

and i should know