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DH's family in war zone - I don't know what to do or say to support him.

(18 Posts)
BathroomCabinet Sun 10-Aug-08 18:26:11

I am regular but have name changed.

DH is from Georgia and it is just awful. We live in the UK and have spent all day in watching telly and reading the papers. He is really quiet and anxious.

I don't know what to do to support him. I don't even know why I am posting because I don't know what I am expecting you to say.

I feel lost and sick - I have never learnt how you cope with this stuff.

If anyone has any ideas for anything constructive I can do I would be really grateful.

oranges Sun 10-Aug-08 18:27:39

my family are in a war zone and the key thing, which sounds weird, is let them obsess, over details and every scrap of news. for a few days notihing else will seem to matter. so very sorry for your dh, hope his family are okay.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathroomCabinet Sun 10-Aug-08 18:31:04

His parents are there and elderly, but also carers for his grandparents who are in their 90's. There is also extended family. His cousin has been injured.

Everything else seems so trivial.

Thank you for replying so quickly. It is comforting.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeLindt Sun 10-Aug-08 18:33:48

I don't know if there is anythign that you can do, except be there for him.

It is such a horrible situation to be in, we have been watching the news these past days horrified at the scenes being played. I cannot imagine how I would feel if my family were there.

I hope that his family is in a safe area.

BreeVanderCampLGJ Sun 10-Aug-08 18:34:44

Just let him do what ever it takes to get through it.

Not quite the same, but when my DH finally lost the last bit of his hearing, thus rendering him profoundly deaf, he went into himself for months.

I on the other hand turned it into a project and started to research cochlear implants.

The point of this seemingly unconnectd post is that we all deal with things in different ways.

BathroomCabinet Sun 10-Aug-08 18:35:21

no - there would be all kinds of visa issues - DH is looking into it but is doubtful. His grandparents are not very mobile either.

He spoke to them earlier on a very bad line - took ages to get through.

BathroomCabinet Sun 10-Aug-08 18:36:46

thank you for posting. I am usually quite constructive and focused and I am floundering and I feel sick.

CoteDAzur Sun 10-Aug-08 18:37:10

I'm sorry your DH's relatives are in that war zone. Can you get any news from them at all? Now that Georgia has declared unilateral ceasefire, hopefully Russia will soon stop their fire as well.

Could you tell us a bit about what is going on? Newspaper coverage seems inadequate. Why exactly did Georgian government attack this 'breakaway' region? Did they not anticipate Russia's response?

[It reminds me a bit of Turkey's army entering Cyprus after the Greek junta government tried to annex the island to mainland Greece.]

BreeVanderCampLGJ Sun 10-Aug-08 18:39:19

Use this website to call, we use it to call Ireland and have reduced our quarterly bill from £300 to £100.

If he is calling for 1p a minute he will feel he can pick up the phone every two minutes if the is what it takes to get him through.

ilovemydog Sun 10-Aug-08 18:40:59

Aren't visa restrictions looked upon more favorably during war situations? It would be a refugee situation, wouldn't it?

BathroomCabinet Sun 10-Aug-08 18:42:58

cote - it is really complicated.

S.Ossetia was part of Georgia for a very long time and there are S. Ossetians and Georgians living there. Basically S.Ossetia were 'absorbed' into Georgia at the break down of the USSR. They have wanted independance.

Russia has increasingly put 'peacekeeping' troops into S.Ossetia and it has created a lot of tension. They have also recently given out a lot of Russian passports - thus 'creating' the citizens they are now claiming to protect.

Russia has put increasing pressure on Georgia due to their close relationships with the west and desire to join NATO.

BBBee Sun 10-Aug-08 20:20:29

best wishes

Boco Sun 10-Aug-08 21:11:18

It must be very frightening for him and he must feel very helpless. All you can do is be there and listen and support him. I'm sure you're already doing everything you can - sending you lots of love x

TooTicky Sun 10-Aug-08 21:25:04

Oh Bee, I'm so sorry.
{{{{{{{{{{{lots}}}}}}}}}}}

scouserabroad Sun 10-Aug-08 22:31:14

It's a really difficult situation, it's so hard to know what to do

Not quite the same but my DH is from Algeria, where there are terrorist attacks and suicide bombings fairly often. I've never known what to do or say and usually just hug him while he sits there and says nothing

AtheneNoctua Mon 11-Aug-08 08:43:52

Very sorry for your DH. (((hugs))) for both of you.

It seems Russia's agression does not change when the administration does.

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