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what do you think? was the resturant right?

(450 Posts)
2shoes Sat 12-Jul-08 12:26:45

or is it discrimination

I now await being asked to not take dd to places incase she puts people off their food.

southeastastra Sat 12-Jul-08 12:29:06

oh dear he's breaking the law isn't he?

hope everyone boycotts the place

zippitippitoes Sat 12-Jul-08 12:30:19

perhaps he should point out that she is an artidst with celebrity connections then they would flock there

that is how people's priorities lie

cornsilk Sat 12-Jul-08 12:31:52

Poor woman. Horrible man.

sfxmum Sat 12-Jul-08 12:36:25

I worked for many years in SN mostly with adults, the discrimination is dreadful, people don't like difference and feel it is ok to be terribly rude. it is very very sad

another thing particularly upsetting is the level of discrimination and rudeness in the medical profession towards those with SN

Skribble Sat 12-Jul-08 12:37:19

hmm I can see this from both sides really, she has been visiting the restaurant for a while so he didn't just ban her the first time she came in and made a mess, it does look more like he has had to make this decision, he is offering to do a takeaway service for her.

But it does seem awful to ban her because her eating is affected by her disability, but I think I would find it hard to eat if there was lots of spitting etc, I certainly wouldn't complain if it was obvious she had problems eating but it would put me off going there.

edam Sat 12-Jul-08 12:38:07

Disgusting man (the restaurant owner). Hope he chokes. And I hope everyone boycotts his restaurant AND he is done under the DDA.

lulumama Sat 12-Jul-08 12:44:04

what is also so sad is that other customers would treat her like this , like a sub human, becasue she spills her coffee and struggles to eat. shame on them as much as the restaruateur.

so he has offered a take out he can still line his pockets with her money, just won;t have her in his restaurant angry what a hypocritical arse

Greyriverside Sat 12-Jul-08 12:51:45

I agree that there are two sides to this. If you think you could eat without being disturbed in this case then think of a worse scenario and maybe it's just a case of where you draw the line.

I mean for example if someone using a restaurant couldn't help vomiting frequently would that be ok? How about if they couldn't stop shitting?

The owner has to draw a line so has chosen to draw it here. Maybe he misjudges how much other customers are bothered, but I suspect he has had lots of complaints and left with little choice.

sfxmum Sat 12-Jul-08 12:54:05

yet somehow drunken bores seem to be tolerated

Greyriverside Sat 12-Jul-08 12:57:32

Well as for bores I think your choice of dinner partner is your decision Drunks should and sometimes are ejected, but remember he didn't throw her out the door. Just asked her not to return.

Skribble Sat 12-Jul-08 13:02:46

I would probably have to leave if I was a customer, but I wouldn't make any comment to her or complaint. I don't think this is treating her badly, I just couldn't eat my own food if I was gagging.

Its doesn't bother me a bit if other customers have special needs, or shout or jump about a bit, often visit a cafe where a young lady comes in with her carers, she gets very excited and shouts a bit, I don't discriminate because people are different.

In this case I don't think it is a matter of discriminating because she is different, it is more do do with customers being physicaly put off there food.

edam Sat 12-Jul-08 15:31:53

What actual evidence is there that anyone has been put off their food? Has anyone complained? Have his takings gone down?

I suspect he's just a nasty piece of work who is dressing up his own prejudices in 'the customers don't like it'. And appears to be breaking the law.

2shoes Sat 12-Jul-08 16:01:29

seems to be a growing trend
I can't see how you can not serve someone because they are disabled.

HmphreyCushion Sat 12-Jul-08 16:07:15

"Mr Conde, 41, who lives in South London with his wife and two daughters, said he had no choice but to bar Miss Blow if he wanted his restaurant to make a profit".

I'm sure this kind of publicity will have people flocking to his restaurant. hmm

He has handled this whole situation extremely badly.

nailpolish Sat 12-Jul-08 16:08:26

i cant believe he got a friend to tell the woman

couldnt even tell her to her face

zippitippitoes Sat 12-Jul-08 16:11:00

it is sad after two years im sure she felt that she was well loved there

how confidence destroying

it is to do with not seeing past appearances to the person

stitch Sat 12-Jul-08 16:30:47

tbh, i dont see why restaurant owners cant ban people who spit on th efloor?
what next, they have to put up with customers who urinate on the chairs?
i understand the mitigating factor of her being disabled, but i think the restaurant owner is being put in a bad place by her, and he is doing his best in a very awkward situation

Skribble Sat 12-Jul-08 16:39:55

I don't think we can say he handled it badly all we have to go on is a newspaper report.

Some things are not black and white or an easy decision to make.

What about a classical concert, how would you handle having someone with special needs shouting through it or a mum with a small child crying through it? I wouldn't like to have to ask them to leave but I am sure a lot of people would be pissed off not hearing a concert they have paid for. Similar to paying for a meal you can not eat.

2shoes Sat 12-Jul-08 16:47:02

stitch so you compare loutish behaviour with being disabled hmm
(hope I read your post wrong0

foxymolly Sat 12-Jul-08 16:48:17

Its not just her feelings that should be considered, what about the other diners who cannot eat because of the spitting? What about the owner of the restaurant who is losing money, he is trying to run a business after all and if customers are leaving without paying its hardly fair on him.

It sounds like her trousers falling down were the last straw and I don't blame him.

nailpolish Sat 12-Jul-08 16:48:34

wwe went to the cinema and beside us was a young boy with special needs (he was about ten) and he kept flapping his arms around and shouting very loudly. he was with an older girl (about 17)

neither me, dd1 (5) or dd2 (3) heard any of the film. dd1 asked me if we could sit somewhere else but by this time the theatre was full and i couldnt see any other 3 seats together

i just felt so sorry for my dds but there was nothing i could have done

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Sat 12-Jul-08 16:54:37

Several post on here have me shaking with anger.

I bet you think you're all REALLY nice people.

This is WHY people who live with disabilities get so isolated. Try living with a disability. Would you be willing to stay in all the time in case you upset someone (who has to tolerate it for oooh all of one meal/one film).

This is why I fucking hate the neurotypical world.

stitch Sat 12-Jul-08 16:55:33

not at all 2shoes.
what i am saying is that there are expected norms of behaviour that we all have to stick to when out and about. should someone have problems with incotinence, then it is generally expected that they deal with them themselves, and not expect other people to sort them out.
if i was disabled, then i would expect access to various disabled facilities, such as wheelchair entrance etc, disabled toilets etc, but i would not expect staff to help me in the toilets.
i hope i am making sense?

also, as a customer, i would not like to be sat next to someone who was constantly spitting on the floor. or performing other involuntary bodily functions. i wouldnt comment on it any more than i would a baby screaming, or a child with bad manners, but i wouldnt like it.

Hecate Sat 12-Jul-08 16:56:15

Folks don't have to stare. If they weren't looking then they wouldn't be put off their food, would they? I doubt she goes up to their table and does it an inch from their faces, dropping the contents of her mouth onto their plates. She's at her own table, minding her own business so they must be watching her. Why are they watching her? Oh yes, could it be because of her disability? angry

So choose to stare at her and then complain that she is making you feel ill? hmm

Look at your plate, look at your companions. Look out the window. Look at her for a moment and then look at someone else. Don't stare at her while she eats her entire bloody meal and you won't have a problem, surely?

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