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13 year old girl missing with 21 year old boyfriend (I am [hmm]) on this one)

(236 Posts)
littlelapin Mon 06-Aug-07 22:34:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheQueenOfQuotes Mon 06-Aug-07 22:37:53

what does a 37yr old see in a 16yr old?? (friend at school) Dunno except they've now been married for 10yrs and have 4 gorgeous kids together (first of which she was pg with while being Head Girl at school )

littlelapin Mon 06-Aug-07 22:39:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fingerwoman Mon 06-Aug-07 22:39:27

but at least 16 is legal, and a bit more in control of how she feels

edam Mon 06-Aug-07 22:40:14

I'm with LL, a 21yo who wants a relationship with a 13yo is a bit suspect in my book. I note QoQ's example but suspect that is a very rare case.

sparklygothkat Mon 06-Aug-07 22:40:24

I know a 14 year old who was dating a 21 year old last year when she was 13. Could never work it out myself

fingerwoman Mon 06-Aug-07 22:40:36

It isn't the age gap per se, it's the fact that she is 13!!!!
you wouldn't bat an eyelid if you knew a 40yr old going out with a 30yr old.

but imagine the 20 yr old with a 10yr old- it just isn't rihgt.

TheQueenOfQuotes Mon 06-Aug-07 22:41:53

well actually they got together when she was 15.......after she split up with the 30 something year old Double Bass player !

wannaBe Mon 06-Aug-07 22:43:59

or he could be a very immature 21.

I went out with a 21 year old when I was 16. we first got together when I was 14 and he was 19. admittedly not such a huge age gap but still possibly inappropriate and years on I understand why his mother was so edgy.

But he was ve immature. we never had sex. And part of the reason why we split when I was 16 was because I'd grown up by then and he hadn't. .

houseofhormones Mon 06-Aug-07 22:52:33

Bit of a difficult one as we see 13 year olds as a certain type

When I was 15, I made friends with a girl, I thought she was older than me.....it turned out she was 12! She could get served in pubs and got into clubs. She was tall and big busted, so I can sort of see how a 21 year old might be mistaken. but once he found out her age he should have moved on and that I find very wrong that he didn't

Just remembered aswell, when I was 16 I dated a boy, then found out he was 13! He was over 6ft, muscular with a full beard lol Only lasted a few weeks but I can really understand how mistakes are made

The 21 year old must be quite immature to have carried on and run off though

Tortington Mon 06-Aug-07 22:54:08

i hope he goes to prison. the parents should be shot

littlelapin Mon 06-Aug-07 22:54:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnquietDad Mon 06-Aug-07 22:57:09

How many of you have daughters of 13? And who'd be happy about them "dating" a 21-year-old? Let's be honest, if he's a normal 21-year-old lad he will be driven by his dick, and have insufficient blood to run that and his brain at the same time. Very, very

Tortington Mon 06-Aug-07 22:57:53

hear fucking hear. <<wheres my gun?>>

Desiderata Mon 06-Aug-07 22:58:12

It's a tough one. My friend has a 13 year old daughter, and you wouldn't believe it. Not to look at or to speak to, is this girl anything like my concept of a 13 year old.

I would follow her into the jungle, she's that sussed. And she's not unpleasant either, far from it.

So, I don't know. He's perhaps immature for 21 and she's perhaps mature for 13. It's illegal, of course, but not unheard of.

TheQueenOfQuotes Mon 06-Aug-07 22:59:29

actually - not sure why I'm giving examples of friends......I've just remembered that my first "long term" boyfriend (who had been working at the school I was at - we started dating the day after he left ) was about 25/26 (somewhere around there) and I was 15. My parents knew, they liked him and even invited him to stay with us during the holidays (seperate rooms obviously) - which he did.........after 1 1/2yrs I realised he was a pr*t so dumped him .

and FWIW my dad still sees me as his "little girl" so looking back they must have liked him and trusted him (and me) to let me date him!

madamez Mon 06-Aug-07 23:00:44

Ok, just for a minute, think back to when you were 13 and who you had crushes on, Probably a lot of them were quite a bit older than you, and yet you probably imagined that somehow that didn't or wouldn't matter. And certainly an immature 21 year old and a mature 13 year old might well have enough in common to consider themselves 'in love'.
Now it's possible that these two kids have run off together, but that's only one possibility. Something grim might have happened to them for all we know - but the news story doesn't give much information. I'd wonder, myself, what was behind the girl's surname change, and what that might have to do with anything...

TheQueenOfQuotes Mon 06-Aug-07 23:00:53

oh and never once did he ask me to sleep with him - so he wasn't totally ruled by his dick......he was just a dickhead

Hand on what is illegal......we don't know that they were sleeping together!

StarryStarryNight Mon 06-Aug-07 23:01:39

My neighbours daughter is 13. She has been wearing "inappropriate" clothes since she was 11, mini skirts, heals, make up. She is tall, busty, very pretty, looking at her I would think she was 18 at least. She has a boyfriend the same age as her older brother. 21.

Tortington Mon 06-Aug-07 23:01:53

NOOOOOOOOOO fucking way are people trying to explain this becuase she might be mature and he might be immature.

my daughter is 14 she is very mature looking. she could easily pass for 16.

but she isnt.

she isn;t
she isnt

he is 21

THERE IS NO EXCUSE

its not like HE DIDN'T ASK HER FUCKING AGE.

its a relationship - its not a one night fuck ...oops was she really under 16 mlud?

mrsjohnsimm Mon 06-Aug-07 23:02:08

My sister was dating her now-DH when she was 15 and he was 25 (admittedly she didn't tell our parents he was 25... ). He was a fairly socially immature 25-year-old in some ways at the time (he'd spent much of his childhood acting as a carer for his father, so had missed loads of school). They are now 25 (well, nearly) and 35 and very happy.

UnquietDad Mon 06-Aug-07 23:02:57

I think back to when I was 21 and all the girls I fancied were.... um, about 21, actually. The idea of even contemplating sexual feelings about someone whose breasts had only just developed and who had Bros posters on her wall would have made me feel quite ill.

StarryStarryNight Mon 06-Aug-07 23:03:09

quite. I fancied older blokes. When I was 15 my dream boy was 21. When I was 18 I had a 30 year old boyfriend. Looking back I dont know what posessed him, but I was quite mature. He even brought me to his company christmas dinner...

madamez Mon 06-Aug-07 23:03:20

ANd though they are reffered to as boyfriend and girlfriend, nowhere is it actually stated that they are shagging. They might not be. I do think that 13 is too young to be having sex but (remembering my own teens) it's not too young to have romantic thoughts, etc and want to 'date'. And it is possible for a young man to have strong moral scruples about sex, or to belong to True Love Waits or whatever.

houseofhormones Mon 06-Aug-07 23:03:33

I wouldn't be happy about a 13 year old dating any age......all boys are led by their dicks

I dated 21 and above from 16 because they had got past the 'shag because I can' phase and were much more respectful. They didn't try too hard as they had learnt it wasn't the be all and end all

I have daughters and I woould be very very cautious and explain what she needed to know, then watch very carefully the situation and try to get to know the lad. In my experience, if you say a big huge NO they will do everything in their power to carry on. Would hope it would fizzle out like most teen love affairs do

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