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Abuse in football in the news

(51 Posts)
Molly333 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:35:35

I'm not surprised that adults are now coming out saying they've been abused to the FA . For some time ive witnessed football coaches continually shouting at the players and for it to be okay !!! If this was a workplace would this be allowed ? Then why is it allowed for children ? No wonder children never spoke up , no wonder they felt intimidated by these people . The biggest worry of all is that is still goes on today! That's what the FA need to look at - bullying by coaches needs to stop , we need to protect our children !

Tropezienne Fri 25-Nov-16 16:53:07

It is absolutely disgusting. I hope it gets rooted out entirely and those perpetrators and those that covered it up are named and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

I'm just holding my breath that not too many men have suffered at the hands of these cruel bastards

Tropezienne Fri 25-Nov-16 16:54:28

I'm surprised that no one seems to have anything to say on this matter actually, so far anyway...

lotsofdogshere Fri 25-Nov-16 20:35:33

I wonder if the fact that football is seen as a man's macho game led parents to be less aware of the possibilities of abuse? I'm not criticising parents because I recognise how seductive perpetrators can be.
Molly is spot on in pointing out the screaming and shouting that goes on at amateur matches, including school teams. I've noticed parents being as bullying and abusive as coaches so perpetuating a culture in which emotional abuse of children is accepted as normal. It isn't normal. Children who don't let themselves show normal responses to being screamed at, i.e. crying or running off the pitch are learning to push down normal emotional responses.
It's good to see the response to the former players who have spoken out being so positive. I'm bothered by the constantly repeated mantra that things are now so much better than they where in the 80's. Nope, they aren't. Services have been cut to the bone, experienced police and social work teams disbanded because safeguarding is not a priority in the way it needs to be.

Tropezienne Sat 26-Nov-16 09:50:47

I agree that football then anyway, was very much a man's game and that might have meant no one conceived that such a thing as this could have been going on on the background. I also agree entirely that we shouldn't be too complacent and smug about how much better things are nowadays. There are still Paedophiles looking for their chance to abuse children and young people and cut backs mean that could get easier.

I walk my friends dog sometimes on Saturday mornings in our local park and I'm amazed and shocked at the intensity the energy and enthusiasm the boys show competing on the pitch. Yes, some dads and mum's but more so dad's, get far too excited, screaming and swearing from the touchline, at the boys but mostly at the referee...

Many boys are very physically competitive and goal driven and most sports coaches do a excellent job of giving their kids an opportunity to focus on teamwork, accept the disciplined involved in that and give them a chance to excel at something. Many young people who play have low self esteem are not particularly academically gifted and dont get this release and self worth from their home or school environment. Certainly where I live that's true. Yes that means they get shouted at by the coaches but that is meant as encouragement to give energy and enthusiasm. So I think calling that emotional abuse - made normal, is exaggerating and I totally disagree. I think its part of what drives a lot of boys and young men. Do we really want our boys and young men crying and running off the pitch when they get a bit of this? I think it is part of male identity.

Potnoodlewilld0 Sat 26-Nov-16 18:12:07

It's actually got nothing to do with it being a 'mans game' why it was kept quiet.

Abuse victims especially sexual ones don't speak up because of fear, embarrassment ect. This is nothing to do with being 'shouted' out, this is young children being raped systematically. One footballer was raped over 100 times.

Am I surprised? No. Pedophiles place them selves in positions of power and where children are in vunerable positions.

There is a huge problem with historic sexual abuse in this country, probably all over the world but what really worries me is where are all the ones that havnt been caught? Where are they hiding? Behind computer screens ?? And also where are all the young men from this generation that will take the place of last generation that will be child abusers. People didn't just doing this in the 80s - it's still going on.

It's a scary world our children live in.

TinklyLittleLaugh Sat 26-Nov-16 22:37:15

I think sports coaching is a very fertile ground for paedophiles. I can recall cases involving swimming coaches and gymnastics coaches. There is a big power dynamic going on. For these young boys, desperate to make it big, the coach would have been the guy to make it happen for the or not.

Makes you think twice about why so many footballers seem quite troubled.

Tropezienne Sun 27-Nov-16 09:55:13

Makes you think twice about why so many footballers seem quite troubled

Yes, that as well as far too much money - too soon in their lives and little wisdom.

Bejazzled Tue 29-Nov-16 12:24:46

I'm surprised there isn't more comment on mumsnet about this - previous child abuse scandals have gathered thousands of posts (Savile, alleged MPs etc)
I came on to post my disgust regarding Eric Bristows tweets - victim blaming at its very worst, this guy is a Neanderthal.

BarbarianMum Tue 29-Nov-16 12:59:24

* <<I came on to post my disgust regarding Eric Bristows tweets - victim blaming at its very worst>>*

Me too, glad someone else has picked up on it. I think his attitude is all too common unfortunately angry. Real men don't suffer abuse bullshit, bullshit...

GeekLove Tue 29-Nov-16 16:02:12

It would explain a lot about how Premiership footballers behave when they are placed in such a corrosive environment from an early age. The pressures and temptations do not help build a rounded character and it must take tremendous strength of will to resist these. People forget just how young these atheletes are when they hit the big time.

Oh and Eric, real men call out abusers, not collude with them.

Tropezienne Tue 29-Nov-16 18:05:52

Why do you describe being a part of a football team a corrosive environment ?

ThisOnesForYou Tue 29-Nov-16 18:13:36

I am so angry reading Eric Bristow's tweets angry

Tropezienne Tue 29-Nov-16 19:12:25

Yes I must add to that. What a horrible thing to say. Bristow is an ignorant pig.

DameXanaduBramble Tue 29-Nov-16 19:20:26

These men were not 'shouted' at, OP. They were sexually abused.

GeekLove Tue 29-Nov-16 20:59:45

Where did I describe being in a football team being a corrosive environment?

I mean the surrounding culture and the pressure of being a young footballer. Of course being any young athletes is demanding but I suspect that the duty of care these young men need is woefully inadequate.
By all means training is meant to be hard and harsh decisions have to be made but there is a big difference in discipline and guidance versus abuse and neglect. It is imperative that checks and balances exist such that predators can be caught and those who have been abused can speak out. This is obviously not the case here.

Bejazzled Tue 29-Nov-16 22:51:47

Dame where did I say they had been shouted at? confused

Bejazzled Wed 30-Nov-16 00:23:35

Sorry! That wasn't a comment for me blush

ppeatfruit Wed 30-Nov-16 10:39:20

It's a scary world our children live in This has always been true . The only positive aspect is the fact that it is being talked about now. That the children are being believed.

Tropezienne Children do not become rounded human beings by being sc reamed and told not to cry etc. Most of they either lose all self confidence or become bullies themselves.

ppeatfruit Wed 30-Nov-16 10:40:27

most of 'them'.

Tropezienne Wed 30-Nov-16 15:53:05

The surrounding culture / being in a football team, It sounds like you are saying that.

These were monstrous, cruel perverted individuals who preyed upon certain children and young men.

ppeatfruit I see what you mean but you have to consider the context.Do you think I'm saying that it's ok for children to be screamed at in the classroom if they cant answer a question correctly. Or be teased in compulsory PE lessons because they can't score a goal, jump very far, or run very fast? Of course not. I'm not saying children should ever get screamed at like that and actually they never do, not in a weekend league team, or else many would never return if they were being bullied and intimidated in that way

I dont really see why people are convinced that because of this appalling scandal, that means that boys playing in weekend league football are somehow being abused. That their coaches are intimidating, causing harm and that the football team environment is a corrosive one?

They aren't. Most coaches and staff are great, they encourage and nurture talent. They do it to help these kids possibly achieve something great. Plus they love the sport themselves. The shouting I hear in my local park is of coaches emphasising the positive.

Recently in Bethnal Green near where I live, a couple of sweatshops were discovered and closed. They underpaid and treated their workers terribly. But we're not calling the entire textile industry a corrosive environments to be in, surely?

JellyBelli Wed 30-Nov-16 19:29:55

Tropezienne They are not complaining about being shouted at, they were raped.

Tropezienne Wed 30-Nov-16 19:48:57

I know the abusers aren't. I'm talking to the posters who are saying that.

Potnoodlewilld0 Wed 30-Nov-16 20:13:11

I don't think this isnt being discussed more because it's 'football' and men's sports. I think some people are finding it hard to see the vunerable child behind the players. The only people on facebook thst are talking about it are my male friends.

Potnoodlewilld0 Wed 30-Nov-16 20:16:29

* I don't think

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