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Modern Tory party only f**king kids financially and socially, insist officials

(86 Posts)
blacksunday Wed 05-Aug-15 18:42:45

With allegations of child abuse against former Conservative prime minister Edward Heath, the current Tory government has promised they’ll only ever f*ck kids financially and socially.

Detectives in Wiltshire, London, Jersey, Kent and Hampshire are now known to be examining claims that the former Tory leader was a paedophile, though government officials insisted the current crop are not that way inclined whatsoever.

A party spokesperson explained, “We’re not into the direct physical abuse of children, not at all. We’re more into the unrelenting socio-economic abuse of the poorest ones.”

“Honestly, nothing gets us off quite like it.”

“We don’t like horrific photos of children under the control of paedophiles – but show us a photo of a small dirty child crying outside a food bank whilst its mother tries to scrape up enough handouts to make it some dinner, and blimey – you’ll really get our motor running.”

“You could hang your coat on it.”

“No, don’t worry, the way in which we prefer to f*ck kids is perfectly legal – trust us, we’ve checked.”

silveroldie2 Wed 05-Aug-15 20:15:10


AuntieStella Wed 05-Aug-15 20:17:55

Had you spotted this active thread?

blacksunday Wed 05-Aug-15 20:51:10

Yes, of course.

RedDaisyRed Thu 06-Aug-15 12:46:10

The Labour Party are the ones which would have left children starving and homeless when they'd bankrupted the nation. The Tories are saving children. Only the right have the policies which protect the poor as the senisble nation knows, hence how they voted.

cdtaylornats Thu 06-Aug-15 15:59:42

And Corbyn wants Blair to stand trial for supporting the invasion of Iraq and the murder of hundreds of kids

FuzzyWizard Thu 06-Aug-15 18:01:01

I'm a labour party member and I think this is in really poor taste. Using the rape of children to make witty satirical swipes at the current government leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.

yy FuzzyWizard, utterly grim.

Bubblesinthesummer Thu 06-Aug-15 18:33:04

I'm a labour party member and I think this is in really poor taste. Using the rape of children to make witty satirical swipes at the current government leaves a nasty taste in my mouth

Completely agree

ComposHatComesBack Thu 06-Aug-15 18:51:10

Neither funny or daring as you clearly imagine it to be op.

blacksunday Thu 06-Aug-15 19:26:54

Who cares if you're a Labour party member?

I'm not sorry that some of you people are offended at a satirical news article.

I'm very sorry, and saddened, that some of you aren't offended at the Tory attacks on the poor, ill, and most vulnerable.

There is nothing more repulsive than the rich and powerful picking on the poor and weak.

blacksunday Thu 06-Aug-15 19:29:57

Tory policies are killing people, and making thousands homeless and reliant on foodbanks.

It may make you sleep better at night to believe that cutting social security and killing cancer patients will 'benefit future generations', but that has nothing to do with reality.

The cuts to social security and public services are entirely political and due to the small-state ideology of the Tories. They will not cut the deficit, and in fact, are and already have harmed the economic recovery.

pretend Thu 06-Aug-15 19:31:45

GabbyLogon, is that you??

(Please say yes!!)

FuzzyWizard Thu 06-Aug-15 19:42:32

Who the fuck are you to tell me I'm not offended by cuts to the vulnerable. Don't try to play sanctimonious when you've posted something so vile.

ComposHatComesBack Thu 06-Aug-15 19:44:13

Wow op!

From 0 to sanctimonious in under 10 seconds!

claig Thu 06-Aug-15 20:14:37

GabbyLogon was funny. This is in extremely poor taste and the whole thread should be deleted so that no one has to read it

Preciousbane Thu 06-Aug-15 20:18:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bubblesinthesummer Thu 06-Aug-15 21:31:24

I agree that this OP was in very bad taste.

It certainly is not 'satire" IMO and should be deleted.

Chipstick10 Thu 06-Aug-15 22:24:57

What an utterly awful thread.

fermentedvaper Thu 06-Aug-15 22:31:31

Wow. I have no words. Have my first ever biscuit

RedDaisyRed Thu 06-Aug-15 22:37:37

No, the left is utterly wrong. Labour would have ensured the poor were not fed. The Tories policies which we voted in are wise and kind and protect the poor and preserve the welfare state. You cannot protect the less fortunate by spend spend spend.

blacksunday Sat 08-Aug-15 10:46:11

Yeah, sure. We need to destroy social security in order to preserver it. We need to kill the poor in order to save them.

Wise and kind?! I obviously need to update my dictionary as the meanings of certain words seem to have been revised.

Bubblesinthesummer Sat 08-Aug-15 11:55:22

How has this thread not been deleted is beyond me.

RedDaisyRed Sat 08-Aug-15 15:40:04

More people think lke I do than not actually hence we have a Tory government who will ensure the nation remains stable enough to continue to pay benefits. It's basic common sense which sensibly the British people agreed with in the election.

Keep the thread up. It helps me convince all MN left wingers how wrong they are. Ultimately the right will always prevail as socialism is a lost cause.

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