This was in the NY times this morning on American Parents spending more time with children....

[sunchowder]

I read this article this morning and found it an interesting read--what you you think? Do you think it compares to the UK?

Marriedand SingleParentspendingmoretimewithchildren

[sunchowder]

Guess I should have named the thread, guess what, I just got laid while hanging off a chandelier while mumsneting.....

[TheDaVinciCod]

we ahd an articel int he times here about htis last week
oddisnt it

[sunchowder]

Yes it is oddit surpised me a lotlove the new name! Thanks for responding to me Coddy (I felt all alone...)

[Boowila]

Here's some controversy to spice up your thread...

"Over all, the researchers said, employed mothers have less free time and ?far greater total workloads than stay-at-home mothers.? The workweek for an employed mother averages 71 hours, almost equally divided between paid and unpaid work, compared with a workweek averaging 52 hours for mothers who are not employed outside the home.

On average, the researchers said, employed mothers get somewhat less sleep and watch less television than mothers who are not employed, and they also spend less time with their husbands."

[sunchowder]

Ah thanks Uwilla! I noticed this too, but no one really seems interested!!!

[Gobbledispook]

That is quite interesting. I suppose we should really expect that to be the case if you think about it though. I think parents feel that they need to 'do' things with their children a lot more than a couple of generations ago.

Even when I was a child in the 70s and early 80s, although my mother was at home, we spent a lot of our time entertaining ourselves and playing out - so although Mum was there, she wasn't necessarily 'interacting' with us every minute of that day.

I also let mine entertain each other a lot and play out when I can, but I probably take them out more to do things than my parents did. This is partly a financial issue I think - my parents just didn't have the money to go the zoo umpteen times a year or whatever - but also a reflection of the way that society has changed generally. Don't you think that parents now feel under more 'pressure' to be doing things with their children all the time, constantly stimulating and educating them? Perhaps, and I'm not saying this is a fact, working parents may feel that pressure even more since the number of hours they actually have the opportunity to do stuff with their kids is more limited than it is for a stay at home parent.

With regard to Dads - I think again it's just a reflection of how they have been 'encouraged' to be more hands on over the last 20 odd years or so. We always did stuff with our Dad and he did cook etc, but I think overall men are getting more involved even if they might now work longer hours.

[Gobbledispook]

That probably made no sense, I was typing it fast while names of animals were being shouted at me by ds3!

[sunchowder]

Ah Gobbledi, it did make sense--I completely agree with you. My Mom let me spend a lot of time in my play pen as far as I can remember. She just seemed to always be busy in the kitchen or cleaning....I do think there is much more pressure today to spend "quality" time with you children, but I don't know how this compares to life in the UK. In the states it is very much that way.

[phantomrantum]

The article is interesting my Dad was definitely more "removed" from parenting than DH. Didn't do nappies, baths, feeding, well any of the care (although did play and take us to supermarket). DH loves looking after son and can honestly say don't need to "nag" at all for help, even with nappies - even though our set up is currently quite traditional (i'm at home, he works long hours)

[HeadlessHorsewoman]

I think it is expected of parents now to spend more time doing stuff with their children. My Mum (as my sister and I constantly reminisce, in a kind of 'poor us' way) rarely did anything with us, or took us anywhere. I have ridden horses for thirty years, and did so professionally for 12 years, but I do not think my mum has ever seen me on horseback - it wasn't her 'thing' so she wasn't really interested. However, it wasn't until I got older that I even noticed her lack of enthusiasm for anything we did (our house was always lovely and clean, though, and we had good dinners!!) She was never really interested in anything we did at school, and would only appear interested if we did something that required her intervention (which was not very often BTW!). I do feel now that I am judged by others to ensure my children have a full and varied life, although it can be hard work to cope with the demands of employment, home and family. My Mum, incidentally doesn't agree with running around doing stuff with kids, and can't understand why I do. There has to be a middle ground, though. If you do too much with or for them, how will they ever be self-sufficient? But by the same token, isn't a greater range of experiences a good thing? Tricky.

[sunchowder]

Interesting point about self-sufficiency though....there's where the balance comes in I guess. I have forced my 16 year old to get a job for this reason. I have worked hard to get my DD independent also though Girl Guides activities and other classes, but we still do alot together, much more that I used to do with my Mom.