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another woman killed by abusive partner . RIP Julie Beattie (upsetting)

(45 Posts)
fromparistoberlin Thu 25-Jul-13 21:28:57

I read the story in my more detail on the tube, but here is link :

we heard that one woman a week (?) is killed by an abusive partner, here is another tragic victim

she had 4 children, and they saw her injured

I am sure this will merit little media attention, and I am starting to struggle with this

this seems to happen ALOT, do we need to educuate boys/girls differently? the stats seem disproportionately skewed, too many

again, RIP and my condolances to her family

fromparistoberlin73 Mon 07-Apr-14 09:11:07

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JoAlone Sat 03-Aug-13 14:48:00

dads sorry to learn of your story. I truly hope Julie is in peace, her life sounds traumatic. My only hope is that her 4 vulnerable young children will know a life different to hers. Don't give up yet, stand up for them. Let them know they have one adult in this world left that is their family and wants what is best for them. I can only imagine the trauma this is causing you.

R.I.P Julie

SunnyIntervals Sat 03-Aug-13 14:44:22

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dads Sat 03-Aug-13 14:32:51

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phantomnamechanger Mon 29-Jul-13 17:21:46

Tragic. But I'm not sure you can name the alleged culprit like that Becki so I have reported that just in case, You have enough trouble at the moment. Thinking of you & yours.

MysteriousHamster Sun 28-Jul-13 10:45:54

I always wonder when I hear these stories whether they were one of the women from the Relationships threads, telling their partner they were leaving sad


CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 26-Jul-13 15:51:14

"the murders occur after they have left the men. "

Or when the abuser gets wind that they are about to leave. That's a particularly dangerous time and refuge charities will always stress to abused partners to be proceed with extreme caution and keep their plans secret until they have got away safely.

fromparistoberlin Fri 26-Jul-13 15:47:06

This TED talk is very good

the chilling fact is that in most cases, the murders occur after they have left the men.

cogito, I have just donated to womans aid , very good idea

If anyone feels like that would like to make a donation in honour of Julie and the many other victims, go here

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 26-Jul-13 13:04:33

That's a tragic story, it's happening too often, but I think the problem is complex. There is far too much male violence, that's for certain. However, I think the bigger concern is that the women in these relationships are often manipulated or intimidated by the men into silence well before it gets to this stage. They are told they are worthless or selfish, they believe they have no options and don't know where to get help, they have been robbed of self-esteem, often isolated by their abuser and deprived of freedom or funds, and - even if friends and family tell them to get away or offer them refuge - they find it very difficult to actually leave. On the MN Relationships board it's heart-breaking to read about yet another abusive man, behaving in the most horrendous manner towards a woman, and the partner then saying 'but he's a good Dad, I love him, and I don't want to break up the family'

I don't know if Julie Beattie ever tried to get help but would urge anyone affected by her story and who wants to make a practical difference to others in her situation to consider donating money to women's refuge charities like Womens Aid. There are too many Julies.

fromparistoberlin Fri 26-Jul-13 11:52:42


Oh my gosh, I have tears in my eyes right now. I hope you understand why I posted. Strangers are devastated for her. we wont understand what you are going through, but I am thinking so much about her family, and her children

I am so so sorry for you loss

and I feel very strongly that it should be noted, as its a scandal. AND I get that media coverage causes pain.

and again if this thread causes even a smidgen of upset, I will get it deleted


Discogeek Fri 26-Jul-13 11:40:37

Becki I'm so sorry for your families loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
DV is such a misunderstood issue & underrepresented in the media, I thinks it's really important we share these tragic stories - it could be what helps a woman make the decision to leave an abusive relationship or ask for some support.
RIP Julie Beattie

beckimasonruban Fri 26-Jul-13 11:33:31

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beckimasonruban Fri 26-Jul-13 11:28:25

This is a video Julie made before she had her youngest boy. On this is pictures of her 3 eldest, Ahshiah (7), Seriah (5) and Heze (3). Her youngest, Levi, is 2. These 4 gorgeous children have been left now without a mother and father!

Rooners Fri 26-Jul-13 10:57:32

Beck I am really sorry. What a huge loss to you all.

Rooners Fri 26-Jul-13 10:56:39

The first thing I wondered was, was she on here, I mean there are threads all the time asking for help leaving.

She could have been one of us.

beckimasonruban Fri 26-Jul-13 10:53:43

Julie is my cousin.... When I saw this thread I was in 2 minds about it. At 1st I didn't want ppl talking about her murder as its devastating for us but if it helps others then I'm ok with it. She was such a beautiful, caring and selfless girl and a fantastic mother... we are shocked and heartbroken and will miss her dearly! Rip our angel xxxx

fromparistoberlin Fri 26-Jul-13 06:31:57

Thanks, I am pleased some of you "get" why I posted this

there would have been precursors and weak signals coming up to this horrific event

maybe I should have left this in AIBU, I am such a wuss

Its ust can be compared to some mem on men murders, I feel that very strongly

2 per week, fucking hell

bearleftmonkeyright Fri 26-Jul-13 01:54:26

Hollyberrybush, you seem to on purpose fail to see the point. hmm. These incidences are preventable and are linked to DV. That is the point of this op, not the wider issue of statistics on murder and gun crime.

bearleftmonkeyright Fri 26-Jul-13 01:48:04

Zatyaballerina I feel the same, this incident was not unplanned. It is something you expect in countries such as afganhistan. The police must have been aware of past violent incidents. The same mistakes seem to keep being made in cases of DV by the justice system in general time and again. Yes it's sad. But shrugging of shoulders and saying "what can you do" isn't good enough. Action is needed to protect women from abusive ex partners.

JackyDanny Fri 26-Jul-13 01:27:59

Want to add my voice to those saying RIP Julie Beattie.

My friend has just left DV, she is struggling.

I'm sure this article will give her some much needed strength and gratitude.

If the case had more coverage, it would raise awareness around DV.

OP, yanbu to post in a high traffic topic.

zatyaballerina Fri 26-Jul-13 01:15:19

The problem is that violent offenders aren't properly punished for lesser transgressions before they reach this level of violence. By the time they have escalated to murder there is often a long history of violent behaviour. They keep escalating as they get away with more and more. This scumbag should have been in prison long ago for his abuse and kept there for a very long time, prison should also be awful enough to act as a deterrent.

The only way to deal with violent offenders whether they be domestic attackers or street attackers is harsh sentences and mandatory rehabilitation before release for any unprovoked assault committed against another. Don't give them the opportunity to escalate into murderers in the first place.

edam Thu 25-Jul-13 22:51:00

It's horrific. Poor woman - and how the hell her children are ever going to be able to cope with what they saw, their mother being taken from them so horribly, I do not know.

ILovePonyo Thu 25-Jul-13 22:30:58

2 women a week on average are killed by their partners or ex partners.

So sad, her poor children. Rip

secretsoutherncomfortdrinker Thu 25-Jul-13 22:24:16

this is sickening it breaks my heart and to now this happend around the corner from where i live and this is the first i am hearing about it just goes to show that there is not enough media coverage of this kind of crime.
r.i.p julie

BOF Thu 25-Jul-13 22:08:23

Yeah, men kill each other quite a lot as well as women. Male violence is a huge blight on our society.

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