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Jeremy Forest case - I am gobsmacked!

(43 Posts)
Repeatedlydoingthetwist Sun 23-Jun-13 09:56:57

I've just been reading about some of the family opinions on the case (not linking as it's the DM), and the latest seems to be that the victim's father has said that he'll walk his daughter down the aisle if and when they wed?!! WTAF?!

I know that some people are of the opinion that she knew her own mind and that it's some kind of Romeo and Juliet type affair (I should express now that I am NOT in this camp) but realistically the fact remains that however much she thought she was in love with him she was underage and he was her teacher! He broke the law and abused a position of trust. I can't help but think that by saying this her father will in her mind be endorsing their 'relationship' and will therefore be doing more damage.

My other thought was that I wonder how different the reaction would have been if Forest was considerably older, or indeed a woman? I suspect that the reaction would be vastly different.

QOD Sun 23-Jun-13 09:58:14

She doesn't even live within him either! She lives with her step dad and is estranged from her mum.... Think dad is trying to get her back into a relationship with him.

OnyxGhost Sun 23-Jun-13 10:01:27

Not sure the reaction would be so different if she was a woman really I know in America there was a story of a teacher who was a woman having sex with one of her pupils she went to jail. When she came out they got married.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Sun 23-Jun-13 10:15:52

Yeah I think you might be right about trying to get her on side!

Interesting about the case in America, do you think they're more broadminded over there? What do you think the DM reading moral majority would make of it here?

OnyxGhost Sun 23-Jun-13 10:26:30

No they are not more broadminded but I do feel cases where it's a older woman and boy tend to have a different spin on it. Rather than poor exploited lad it's more his a lucky one ain't he kind of thing.

QOD Sun 23-Jun-13 10:28:37

To me, the age thing is less relevant thanks position of trust, I know this has been done to death on here ....
I feel sorry for the girl as she will wait for him now, and he'll never get a good job again. They'll have a child or two, he'll more than likely be controlling and so it will continue

78bunion Sun 23-Jun-13 11:15:19

It was always stretching "child abduction" a bit, though and sex at 15 is lawful in France so any sex in France was legal (and a fairly high % of 15 year old girls have sex anyway in the UK). People do fall in love for life at 15. It's not that usual although of course teachers should never get involved with pupils.

I agree with QOD it is the position of trust issue that matters. However she could get a great university degree and wonderful career and keep him and their children. lots of women do that and work full time and keep a spouse and family.

RhondaJean Sun 23-Jun-13 11:19:28

I'm more perturbed that she's been given visitation rights to see him in prison. Surely as the victim of the crimes he is jailed for - which include sexual activity with a child - this should have been refused?

Timetoask Sun 23-Jun-13 11:20:46

She is too young to know what real love is, she is infatuated. In five years she might be a different person and will realise how foolish she has been.
To me he is a very immature man-boy. If they do stay together she will outgrow him in terms of maturity, I am sure.

Repeatedlydoingthetwist Sun 23-Jun-13 12:23:40

Agree with all of the points raised here. It's just a shame that her family and the people who have agreed visitation rights don't seem to!

78bunion Sun 23-Jun-13 16:04:55

I never think it's very fair to say teenagers don't know what is true love. You can fall properly in love at any age and plenty of people married 50 years met and fell in love as teenagers. We seem to want to make adults kidults and infantalise them for years these days.

flippinada Sun 23-Jun-13 17:15:18

The age thing is a red herring. Of course teenagers can fall in love.

A crime was committed here and JF has rightly received a jail sentence.

RhondaJean Sun 23-Jun-13 17:17:12

78 youre right people can fall I love at any age the issue is the age gap and the power differential in this relationship.

Lazyjaney Tue 25-Jun-13 00:29:49

"A crime was committed here and JF has rightly received a jail sentence"

There are a lot of questions about whether it was the right sentence though, it is somewhat above average based on similar cases.

lakia Fri 28-Jun-13 19:27:40

am I the only one who thinks that no harm has been done by this man to the girl

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 28-Jun-13 19:33:04

Yes you are the only one

WidowWadman Fri 28-Jun-13 19:36:34

lakia I certainly hope you're in a minority

TooMuchRain Fri 28-Jun-13 19:50:04

Yes, lakia

kissitbetter Sun 30-Jun-13 16:41:22

I have been stunned by how many apologists there are for Forrest. They are turning up in droves on the comments section of the Guardian for example. Very sad that an awful lot of people cannot see a situation can be abusive if the victim says they consent.

honey86 Sun 30-Jun-13 22:50:32

tbh i might sound harsh here, but i feel like castrating the teacher and sucker slapping the girl. if they marry, you wait til a decade down the line (if it makes it that far), he will be looking for his next naive schoolgirl. shes fresh out of school hasnt got a clue about what love and marriage entails, all it is is 'running away with her new bf' like a fairy tail. he is a disgusting excuse of whats meant to be a man.
i dont feel sorry for either of them, doing this to their families.
and theres his wife... having to wake up every day to this, to see them with their vomit-inducing declarations of 'love', in her face, its insulting. neither of them show genuine remorse at the hurt they are causing. yes shes a 'minor' but that doesnt justify it, as much as hes abusing his authority, she had a crush on him n knew what she was doing. theyre both living in lala land. the whole thing is sick and makes my blood boil angry

JakeBullet Sun 30-Jun-13 23:01:30

lakia, if you had a 15 year old DD who had a crush on a teacher would you be happy for him to take advantage of that?

Honestly would you?

CarolH78 Mon 01-Jul-13 00:38:58

My first instinct would be to be horrified if that were my 14 yo, but I'm prepared to admit that part of the reason is that I still see her as she was when she was 10. The truth is she's not a child anymore, she's a young woman and in actual fact she's a lot more mature than my 17 yo son. We all like to freeze our family in roles with which we're comfortable.

I honestly hope that if this had happened to my daughter I would try my hardest not to fly off the handle and to find out what was actually going on before just assuming the worst. I think the mother of this girl has behaved appallingly and I'm not surprised she had all kinds of issues (long before the teacher came on the scene).

At first when these two ran away, I took no real interest besides being glad they found her and brought her back ok. But since the trial and everything I've read a lot of the coverage, and I have to say I don't think this is the manipulative or abusive relationship it's being portrayed as. They do seem to genuinely love each other.

Most girls (or boys) don't fall in real love at that age, but to say it never happens is simply untrue - there are a minority of cases where it does happen, and I wouldn't be surprised if these two end up having a happy marriage one day.

CoalDustWoman Mon 01-Jul-13 00:49:36

Even if love trumped all (which it doesn't), it should never have got to that stage. He should have ensured that appropriate boundaries were kept and sufficient distance maintained.

That neither of them knew what was appropriate is no surprise, given what nonsense their families have come out with. He had the far bigger (and statutory) responsibility and that what he has been locked up for. And rightly so.

wannabeawallaby Mon 01-Jul-13 00:52:17

Sounds like she has a very disfunctional family, poor girl. I read she had visitation rights but then read the other day this had been refused. So who knows. In cases like this the details are so hazy because of reporting restrictions.

JakeBullet Mon 01-Jul-13 06:55:15

My dear mother said yesterday "that little bitch says she groomed him". shock. Now if you knew my mother as well as I do you would be as shocked as I was. My Mum is the most giving and open hearted person....but she had read th headlines in a newspaper.

I pointed out that of this was one of her grandchildren she would feel very different. She had to concede that she would not be happy with the teacher if it was one of her grandchildren.

Fact is that this girl was vulnerable, he was a teacher and he SHOULD have been the bigger person no matter what his feelings towards her. He should absolutely have shown restraint and he didn't which is why he has rightly been locked up.

I am a bit hmm about the sentence when others are getting far less for sexual crimes against younger children though.

If he comes out and stays with her legally then good luck to them. Far more likely though is that she will grow up and out grow him. Then he has no career, all thrown away because he couldn't keep it in his pants when he should have done,

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