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Can't begin to imagine what that poor woman in France is going through

(16 Posts)
FarleyD Mon 20-May-13 09:54:19

Heard on the news this morning that there has been another case of a parent killing their child, or in this case, children. The children had been left with their father overnight for the first time since the divorce, and when the mother came to collect them she found the father in a dishevelled state. Transpired he had killed both children, a son aged ten and a daughter aged five.

So so distressing. What must his state of mind have been. And how can the mother move on from something like this. I know I couldn't.

shoppingbagsundereyes Mon 20-May-13 12:11:40

Horrendous and I wouldn't be surprised if they were only there because she had been ordered by the courts to let him have a visit. Poor poor woman

FrancesFarmer Mon 20-May-13 12:24:38

Yes, she was ordered by the courts to let the children visit. He had a history of domestic violence:

Very poor decision-making by the courts. My sympathies go out to the woman.

fromparistoberlin Mon 20-May-13 13:00:34

this breaks my heart

I spent all weekend reading Lundy Bancroft about abusive men, and how the court system favours them

I am sure the mother was dead set against this, and rightly so

my heart breaks for her , I almost burst into tears when I saw it on the news

so preventable

CinnabarRed Mon 20-May-13 13:03:14

When will the courts - here or elsewhere - learn that a history of DV towards women is a red flag for DV towards children?

Tingalingle Mon 20-May-13 13:05:13

Is it just me, or does this :
'...linked to his painful separation with his wife and the way he had access to his children, which he considered insufficient'

sound almost as though they are sympathising with his frustration?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 20-May-13 13:43:52

Doesn't sound like sympathy to me, more like an anticipation of the mitigating factors his defence lawyer will try to produce in the court. It's not much of a story to print 'man kills children' without providing at least some of the background context

fuzzywuzzy Mon 20-May-13 13:48:38

Ting I read it that way too.

It always really honestly makes me utterly incandescent whenever a father does this that the papers always go on about the traumatic break up and the contact issues arising from the break-up.

When its patently obvious the killer should bnever have been allowed contact with the children at all.

When it's mothers they are always harsher.

BinarySolo Mon 20-May-13 14:55:09

I don't see how it makes logical sense at all that being frustrated by lack of contact with your children would lead you to kill them. Sounds more like spite at the ex in a 'if I can't have them neither can you' type way, than building the image of a living father.

phantomnamechanger Mon 20-May-13 15:44:49

so sad

what struck me was that in many of these case the father goes on to kill himself too - which MIGHT point to them being overcome with remorse, or MIGHT make one more inclined to believe the incident was fuelled by deep depression, rather than a drunken rage or spiteful revenge etc. I am not excusing these actions in any scenario. Just saying it really struck me - that he did not even have the guts to kill himself too.

Poor lady, I hope she has lots of support from family and friends. Pity his paretns too if they are around - the shame of this will be awful for them, on top of losing their GC.

Naoko Mon 20-May-13 15:48:39

So sad. Another case in the Netherlands, also, which hasn't made the news in the UK. The father in that case was found dead nearly two weeks ago and they've been tearing the country apart looking for the children. They were found last night. sad

MeNeedShoes Mon 20-May-13 15:57:06

He is a cunting bastard. No doubt some bleeding heart will be along to clutch their hands over his state of mind and what he must have been suffering to do such a terrible thing.

No. He's just a cunting bastard. Let's keep it simple shall we?

I am so heartbroken for those children and for their poor mother. And the dickhead judge who granted access to this abusive arsehole is a cunting bastard too.

There aren't enough swearwords in the world to describe my feelings for this murderer or the system that aids and abets them.

Littleturkish Mon 20-May-13 16:10:06

Meneedshoes HE was let down too- clearly he is a violent bastard- but when she went to the police what was done about it? Almost as if domestic violence has been normalised to the point where it no longer seems to matter. Where was his intervention? Where was any effort put in place to ensure the safety of the children? Totally agree with the above- violence towards women is a red flag for violence towards children. For his own benefit, he shouldn't have been allowed to see his own children unsupervised.

Of course there could have been unreported support offered- this is a tiny part of a much larger story.

phantomnamechanger Mon 20-May-13 17:43:58

Naoko - that's awful sad

tribpot Mon 20-May-13 17:46:54

Link to Naoko's story

Darkesteyes Mon 20-May-13 18:01:47

shoppingbag and Frances Youve confirmed what i already thought. I remember saying to DH "i bet the courts made her let him have this access.

My heart goes out to this lady.

Those courts are as complicit in the killing of those children as that murdering violent bastard is.

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