Women 'blamed' for being raped

[monkeytrousers]

here

We really need to reeducate ourselves about this I think. Only a few days ago a poster on another thread was trying to say that acquaintance rape wasn't as bad as stranger rape. It's this kind of ignorance we really need to challenge.

[monkeytrousers]

Everywhere we find it too!

[foundintranslation]

Had just seen this and was just about to post it mt!
The conviction rate is shocking.

[foundintranslation]

I saw it in the Guardian

[crackingchristmascat]

Havent read the article but educating boys/men that No means No would be helpful.

[SackAche]

MT - Read about this in the Metro this morning! I cannot believe that 30% of women interviewed said they thought the rape victim had to accept some of the blame!!!!

Even if you were a total slag that sleeps with/flirst with anything with a pulse you do NOT deserve to have a man pin you down and rape you (and probably slap you about a bit too)!

I am shocked and disgusted that other women feel this way.

[Caligula]

It's quite horrifying that adults don't see other adults as being responsible for their own actions.

Why are women always given responsibility for men's actions?

[monkeytrousers]

Women think this too apparently Crackingchristmas

[monkeytrousers]

Flirting..on one of the joys of life, and now you deserve everything you get!

[Frenchgirl]

I saw this too an knew there would be thread on here somewhere! It really is shocking that so many people would think this way. Do you remember a film about 15 years ago with Jodie Foster as a tarty girl who gets gang raped and goes to trial (I think Kelly McGillis played her lawyer)? Well it looks like same old prejudice still there then

[Enid]

because men are babies who we have to protect from big bad naughty women

sheesh

[expatinscotland]

That film is called 'The Accused'. Although things have changed in the US - legislation-wise - regarding this issue, stereotypes still exist regarding rape. Still, I've seen a lot more 'No means NO' campaigning going on there.

[Frenchgirl]

ah thanks expat (was driving myself mad trying to remember...)

[monkeytrousers]

Really though, how many of us are prepared to challenge these attitudes if we come across them. Whats really shocking is that the question was unequivocal, the word they used was rape, and like many of you say, what adult could possibly think anyone deserves to be raped?

Are the owmen who said this thunkig of their son's, husbands, fathers and brothers and how many I wonder have been victims themselves, found no sympathy from those around them and so prosecute that bitterness onto others in the same situation?

[Carmenere]

I am going to say something controversial here. I think that the shockingly low conviction rate is in part due to the misuse of the police system by woman calling false rape. I think that it is possible that most cases of date rape go unreported.
I personally know many women including myself who have not reported 'bad' experiences preferring to live with the feelings of self loathing and worthlessness that can be result of a date rape rather than put up with the scrutiny of the legal system.
My dp is a CID officer and over the past 5 yrs since I've known him you would not believe the amount of false rape allegations that are made on a regular basis. Each and every case is treated with the utmost seriousness and they have very strict guidelines they must follow and they are ALWAYS sympathetic initially.
However it would really disgust you to know how often rape is called as a tool of revenge against a partner or more often as an excuse for playing away one drunken night. Or even by stupid yuoung girls as an excuse as to why they are late home. IMO these women who call false rape are the very people who are responsible for the reluctance of women who are genuine victims of rape. And of course why so many rapist get to carry on unhindered by police attention.

I know that some of you will disagree with me but I have been genuinely and repeatedly shocked by the abuse of the system.

[flamesparrow]

My mum tried to tell me the other day that men's brains don't work the same as women's, and once you've started something with them that even if you say no, sometimes they just aren't able to process it and stop

This is what is normally an intelligent woman speaking!!!

[crackingchristmascat]

I saw a drunk girl out the other night and she was sitting with her head between her knees. There were 5 blokes hanging round like vultures waiting for the others to get bored so they could take advantage or her.
Or that was my interpretation of it. Maybe they were waiting for her to sober up so they could escort her home.

[winnie]

this is really shocking!
And people say we don't need feminism

[monkeytrousers]

006, Rohypnol dissipates in the system quicker than alcohol I think. But we also live in a binge drinking culture. Women are more vulnerable when drunk, as are men, to any kind of attack but when does being more vulnerable become 'asking for it' which is the subtext in all this.

[expatinscotland]

there are many other 'date rape' drugs besides rohypnol, 'roofies'. GHB, for one, much easier to manufacture as well.

[flamesparrow]

But - I do think that women (and men) have a responsibility to keep themselves vaguely alert... there will always be sick bstards out there who will rape - getting yourself so drunk that you cannot fight them off, or even remember if it happened the next morning is your responsibility - the rape itself is not* "your fault" but the state you are in is... in the same way as if you were to walk out in front of a train - the trains will always be there, no matter what we do, it is up to us not to walk out in front of them with no form of defence.

Does that make sense??

I am talking about rapists who have gone out to rape here, like murderers who go out to murder (does any of that make sense???)

[dinosaur]

This is so bad, isn't it. Seriously, I think we need a mumsnet-led campaign on this.

[ChaCha]

Just listening to this now on Woman's Hour. Shocking!

[ChaCha]

Just listening to this on Woman's Hour right now. Shocking!

[monkeytrousers]

Carmenere, if a woman is confused about an experience she's had and also traumatised for it, if she seeks advice about that how can she not be accused of crying rape.

What is it with the endemic attitude of female deviance that people have? I'm not denying that some (a very few statistically, I'd bet) women do malitioulsy do this, but how many do it out of confusion, many many more! Why is society so quick to judge women as scheming? It's just unacceptable.