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So..... apparently parents with ADHD children are "unscrupulous". Still if it paves the way for cutting DLA then that's okay - after all we're just milking the system

(103 Posts)
DillyDaydreaming Sun 06-Feb-11 13:26:58


What a pile of shite.

My son received his ADHD diagnosis alongside one of ASD. I didn't SEEK the diagnosis and never even considered it until the paediatrician brought it up. The paediatrician based that opinion on extensive observations and reports of my DS - it certainly was not "just a tick box" affair. Even then it was not conformed for several months for further observations and assessments.

And if the head teacher quoted is SO sure it's just a parent milking the system why is she aiding a positive diagnosis by ticking her "tick boxes" in a positive way>

Stupid bloody woman - just hope she never gets withing 100 feet of MY son because with teachers like that he needs NO enemies. In fact she might wish to meet my son - he is NOT disruptive/bouncing off the walls. Instead he is much quieter and struggles to maintain focus and attention enough to understand the curriculum without visual aids and support. Nor is he on any medication.

What a shite report and what a shite head teacher. We are not all milking the system - as a mother and as a health professional I can tell you there are many more of us who don't seek a diagnosis because we don't suspect ADHD until it is suggested.

Still if it makes people feel more friendly to the idea of cutting DLA I assume that's okay with Shiney Dave and his pals in power.


And fwiw - all assessments of my DS suggest he will do well in life - he will work (just as I do), pay taxes (just as I do) but hey - lets stuff ALL parents doing their best - shuffle them all into the "shit parents" pile and cut off all support - that'll learn em!

Twinklebum Sun 06-Feb-11 21:31:11

thanks mists think i will do that, i need all the help i can get!! its just so sole distroying that because (in my eyes and the paeds eyes) i have done so much to help my ds i now feel that i am being peanalised sad

Mists Sun 06-Feb-11 21:37:19

Have sent you a message Twinklebum, click on the envelope in red at the top of the page smile

adamschic Sun 06-Feb-11 23:00:05

Can someone tell me if a diagnosis leads to claiming benefits. The reason I am asking is because when mine was 6 years old a teacher told me that they had observed traits and I ignored it. Did I miss out on extra help?

I had no idea that it would mean extra help but I did struggle and am wondering what I missed out on in terms of money, which might have helped at the time. All irrelevant now.

Sorry to go off topic, but I will always wonder.

saintlyjimjams Sun 06-Feb-11 23:05:00

Expect more articles attacking DLA - in preparation for doing away with it.

I am very worried people with severe learning disabilities and challenging behaviour (and in receipt of higher rate care - rules as they are at the moment) are going to lose their mobility allowance.

Bit worrying that a headteacher doesn't realise behaviours at home and school can be very different - especially if a child manages to cope by just about holding it together at school (not the case for us so I have no axe to grind - just should be common knowledge for a head teacher)

saintlyjimjams Sun 06-Feb-11 23:06:30

not necessarily adamschic - depends on how it affects daily living. You don't actually need a dx to claim DLA either (so th article is bollocks- with or without a dx you fill in a 70 page or however long it is form about every minute of your day and then a decision maker decides)

cat64 Sun 06-Feb-11 23:08:30

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MissQue Sun 06-Feb-11 23:12:37

Excellent post Mist

StarlightMcKenzie Sun 06-Feb-11 23:14:20

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StarlightMcKenzie Sun 06-Feb-11 23:21:57

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adamschic Sun 06-Feb-11 23:26:05

Thanks, god I could have done with extra help at the time. Was working full time and realised that mine needed me at home. Still it's all in the past now.

Sorry for everyone else worrying about these awful cuts they are making. Mine is now wanting to go to uni 2012, also losing EMA which helped through college, so I do understand to that effect how awful it is for lots of us. sad

Mists Mon 07-Feb-11 00:04:32

adamschic that is very sad but you are right, hindsight is just that and how wonderful that you are still so very generous in thought. I wish you and your DC all the best smile

I was just discussing with DH and we both agreed that if DS had been the child I had as a lone parent he would not be diagnosed. I would never have had the time to talk properly to the pre-school teachers to discuss concerns, too busy trying to keep a roof over our heads and trying not to fall apart.

Any concern raised with the child-minder would probably have been dismissed as a consequence of me working. I had that when DD was little. Tut tut, these career women hmm

There is a child at DS' pre-school who is clearly autistic, he is like my son's twin in behaviour and even constructs things and does his creative artwork in the exact same way as my son but his "lifestyle" (mother isolated and on benefits / council flat) is the cause apparently so you can't win.

I feel desperately sorry for that family, the child's needs are being woefully neglected because his mother is young and vulnerable angry

Thanks MissQue by the way, I always enjoy reading your posts too x

cory Mon 07-Feb-11 08:21:38

You don't just get DLA for claiming your child has a problem: you have to demonstrate how their inability to deal with what their NT peers can do results in higher care needs - which of course means higher expense needs for the parents. Just being disruptive at school won't get you any DLA. But having the kind of child that means you have to
escape-proof the house might.

Chances are, the vast majority of parents whom this headteacher comes across will not be getting any money whatsoever.

cory Mon 07-Feb-11 08:26:45

And for the record, I have known a headteacher who told blatant lies about a child with SN. But if I ever wrote an article about dd's experiences, of course I would make it very clear that this does not apply to the majority of headteachers wink

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 07-Feb-11 19:11:52

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cory Mon 07-Feb-11 20:46:36

I don't think scruples were his forte, Starlight. But getting money for the school and kudos for himself certainly was.

coppertop Mon 07-Feb-11 20:59:10

Anyone who thinks that DLA is easy to get has obviously never had to fill in an application form for it. For my ds' recent renewal I ended up writing over 10,000 words on how his daily life is affected. And that didn't include the reports from other people.

Triggles Mon 07-Feb-11 22:28:06

coppertop - god, I hear you on that one! we had a massive pack of paperwork that we sent in for our claim. I'm still recuperating from it, tbh. It's literally soul-destroying. Took me ages to get it done as I simply couldn't bear to do it all in one go, not to mention it took weeks to type it all up anyway.

The public needs to be educated better on this.

sheepgomeep Mon 07-Feb-11 22:44:29

My son has adhd and I recieve dla for him.He has had the dx since he was six but I didn't claim dla until he was 8 because I didn't know I could.

The benefit means I can work less hours and I can be at home to deal with him, help him with homework go to appointments,meetings with him, it helps with the cost of petol/ bus fares.

It also like a another poster helps us to replace things he has damaged like doors, baby gates he has damaged in temper (gone through a few of them), helps us buy new uniform as he wrecks them. Special diet too.

sheepgomeep Mon 07-Feb-11 22:51:59

I remember how the man from welfare rights (who helped me fill in the dla form)winced when I described how my ds let go of the pram coming down our hill, pushed his sister down the stairs, kicked holes in our doors and threw a screw driver down the stairs at me, narrowly missing his 1 year old sister who was standing next to me.

I am no shit parent. My ds was different from very early on in his life and if I was that crap then his sisters would be badly behaved too

MarioandLuigi Tue 08-Feb-11 12:50:16

I agree that this is that start of the DLA bashing which we will see alot more of in the coming months - its so depressing as it seems to get spurted out so often and so easily.

calmandserene Tue 08-Feb-11 20:59:19

I am old enough to clearly remember the last batch of Tory governments, and as time goes on you will begin to clearly see how tactically these issues arise. In the eighties, it was single parents. We were scum personified, the root of all societal ills. I am not surprised to see us heading the same way again. Stigma is powerful,and we live in a country dominated by Daily Fright readers who vote Tory because they think it makes them a better class of person.

cory Tue 08-Feb-11 23:50:33

me too, I'm having this creepy sense of deja vu

adamschic Wed 09-Feb-11 10:06:08

It was the early 90's that they really started laying into single parents, when that smug bastard, (forgot his name and don't want to look it up) did a speech about single mothers and feckless runaway fathers being the scurge of society, thus creating the CSA. I was newly pregnant and this scared her dad away. I never did claim benefits (only later under labour via CTC) but hey ho, they did a wonderful job.

LaydeeC Wed 09-Feb-11 10:47:48

The demonising of DLA claimants is already underway.
My son receives DLA - he is autistic. His behaviour is markedly different in school than at home. At school he is compliant and placid. At home, he is violent, verbally aggressive, he has trashed our home on more than one occassion, we have panels missing from doors, chunks out of the plaster on the walls, drawing all over the walls, we lock our knives away in a small safe in the kitchen. Do I have to go on?
My BiL is of the opinion that there are millions of 'scroungers' claiming benefit who should be working. When I point out my son's claim, he agrees, that 'we aren't scroungers'. It's just everyone else then is it.
This type of journalism and generalisation makes me sick to my stomach. My son's school (professionals that they were) never tired of telling me 'it's you mum'. Strange then that my NT daughter didn't display the same challenging behaviours.

cory Wed 09-Feb-11 12:01:26

I'm old enough to remember the demonisation of gays which preceded that of single mums <scrutinises wrinkles>.

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