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~~~ The Wednesday FLY thread ~~~

(31 Posts)
SimplyIsGoingToLearnToFLY Wed 16-Sep-09 08:34:27

mission

SimplyIsGoingToLearnToFLY Wed 16-Sep-09 08:39:31

Good morning all.

I'm sorry to hear of your bereavement Jas. {{hugs for you}}

Back later.

ActingNormal Wed 16-Sep-09 09:52:36

Wolfcub, sounds like you are having a difficult time with your DS! How old is he? Is this the first time he has behaved like this? Is there something in particular that 'sets him off'? It's so hard how to teach children to deal with their anger. My DS used to frequently throw hard objects at DD, now not so often thank god, and he sometimes 'attacks' me if I tell him off! I keep trying to encourage him to give inanimate objects (eg the sofa) a beating to help him feel better but not sure if it does any good or if he is just gradually learning to deal with it better with age anyway.

Jas, sorry things are sad at the moment and you have a lot to deal with. Go easy on yourself!

re 'Age', getting older doesn't make you become more inferior to younger people. Getting older means you have more life experience and are hopefully getting better at knowing how to be happy and how to run your life the way you want to. Hopefully things that worried you when you were younger don't seem as important now and you can feel more relaxed and know yourself better.

Starbear, re your DS suddenly worrying about robbers - my DD and a friend's DS went through a bedtime fearful stage some time after starting school, being scared of things they hadn't thought about before. I don't know if other children at school talked about things that worried them? Sometimes my DD doesn't think about the fact that her friends might be making things up for fun/attention and takes what they say too seriously. Could something like this have happened with your DS?

Thank you to people who told me about their bathtime routines smile. I do like to know how other people do things as my ambition is to be 'normal' hahaha! Now I have run out of bubblebath so last night used a load of Johnson's shampoo in the water to make bubbles. (I bought it a while ago and didn't like it - preferred Tesco own baby shampoo, but it seemed ok as bubble bath).

MakingChanges, you wrote about volunteering at school - do you mean as a parent helper/reading book person etc? I used to think you had to have qualifications to do this but at the school meeting I went to last night DD's teacher was talking about a parent helper who comes in, so it seems like you don't? I'm thinking I might like to be one (but not in my children's classes as I don't want them to feel weird), when my DS is settled in to school. It would satisfy a desire in me to feel I'm doing enough that is worthwhile - although maybe I'll feel that what I do already with the house and the kids when they're not at school is enough! I'm not finding I have any extra time on my hands so far but don't know if I will start feeling 'aimless' the longer they are both at school and DS starts going full tme. I could go and get a paid job but apart from making money I don't think I'd feel there was much 'point' in it. For me, giving a bit of extra help/attention to kids who are struggling a bit at school would be really meaningful. If DH says we don't desperately need more money I think I'd rather have an unpaid job which had meaning for me.

TeaMonster, I'm glad you found your counselling session really good and I hope it really helps you. I definitely think counsellors vary in their usefulness, and maybe some are good but if they aren't suited to your personality then the sessions don't do much for you. I had two different ones in the past who didn't seem to make any difference at all. I didn't have to pay for them (not sure if this makes a difference). I found one just over a year ago - chose one with loads of qualifications and experience - and paid him loads of money over the last year and a half - and he has been a miracle! In fact I don't feel I need to go anymore, so one of my tasks which I need to find time for is to write him a 'thank you' and 'goodbye' letter. I've already talked to him about stopping the sessions but I feel I really want to get my words right in a letter to express how incredibly grateful I am for what he has done for me and how much better I feel.

Today I am going to do my flute practice first to make sure I do some, otherwise the week will flash by and I won't have practiced the pieces for flute choir tonight and will be letting the others down and won't have practiced the stuff for the flute lesson next Monday. I feel slight guilt at putting what I want to do ahead of housework but it it makes me feel my life is nice and I get to do things I like, and I'm a happier person then I'll be nicer to the DCs and DH! - that is how I justify it anyway grin.

I will then 'fly' around doing the essentials in the time left, and if there is any time after that I can do things to add to my 'list' of done things and feel smug grin.

I think I have already achieved something by giving the kids breakfast, getting them to school on time, but the biggest achievement was getting DS to put most of his school uniform on himself, through a longish, slightly painful process of asking him to do one tiny thing at a time eg take your pyjama trousers off and you will have one point, now put your pants on and you will have two points etc and see how many points he can get. I'm so happy this seems to work!

swanriver Wed 16-Sep-09 10:21:51

Have a written a post but
hey it has vaporized

SO to summarize
Hello
I'm whizzing round as all flyladies do
minor arrghs sorted
major arrghs brooded on and binned grin
Plenty to do - so I'll do it
Jas - you are a rock

SimplyIsGoingToLearnToFLY Wed 16-Sep-09 10:36:05

Hello to swanriver and ActingNormal.

I'm just ironing this morning. I need to have the living room as tidy as possible by tomorrow so I'm going to concentrate on that until it has disappeared. I'll be back later with a list.

TeaMonster Wed 16-Sep-09 11:48:10

Morning all

I am still cutting & pasting n's - arggggggggggggggggggggggggg

I have done the mormimg stuff amd dropped DS1 off to school with all his polygon stuff

Been swimmimg with DS2

Will catch up - door bell

grouchyoscar Wed 16-Sep-09 12:10:26

Jas I'm sorry about your loss, just what you didn't need. Every strength to get you through this time and a big Grouchy style hug to you.

ActingNormal Wow. what a post!

EHM Yesterday was not too bad. The toasted teacake was fantastic.

Hello and waves to Everyone

DONE

Up and meds
Check hair (Nitty Gritty combs are ace!)
Wake GOjr
Make beds
Down with laundry and crockery
Make breakfast
Load WM and run
Have breakfast
Up to wash, teethclean and dress
S&S Loo
S&S bathroom
Empty DW
Put away
Get bags ready
Go to school
Visit friend's new house
Home, Empty WM, load and run again
Get swimming stuff ready
Post and adminy stuff
Clear the landing and vac it
Vac bathroom and GOjr room
Empty upstairs bins
Online Banking.

After lunch I'll clear the landing and bedroom hotspots before collecting GOjr. Then I will get some schoolwork out of him.

SimplyIsGoingToLearnToFLY Wed 16-Sep-09 12:13:09

Good afternoon TM.

Done:-
~ soaked some items before putting in w/m
~ 2 loads of washing
~ 1 load on the line
~ big pile of ironing

To do:-
~ walk the dog
~ do food shopping
~ finish the ironing

I'm keeping it simple today as I really want to have a tidy living room by the end of the day.

SimplyIsGoingToLearnToFLY Wed 16-Sep-09 12:15:06

x posted with go who is truly amazing with her done list. smile

scattyspice Wed 16-Sep-09 12:43:36

Hi all.

jas Happy birthday for Sunday (happy birthday hugs), Hugs to you and Dh for your bereavement and the ongoing difficulty in finding work. You have coped with this so well for a long time now. smile.

wolf sympathies with ds, I've been there!
AN Our teachers love it when parents come in to help.
star sometimes they need their TV time lol.
TM Ds is certainly brainy!

Hi everyone else.

Today:
DS to Beavers
laundry
tea
declutter BathRoom (try again).

DS told me this morning that he didn't want me to talk about him to the other Mums at school blush. So I stood in virtual silence lol.

galen Wed 16-Sep-09 12:58:23

afternoon all.
busy timwes here as usual LOL
Did have suprising spirt of energy yesterday evening and seeme dto catch up on lot LOL
Did:
S&S bathrooms (better late than never!)
Hots posts in kitchen
Laundry reboot
LOTS of clean washing away
Room rescues in littlies and older girls rooms
Room rescue my room
Lounge rescue and good tidy in general
Hoovered lounge, landing, our room, littlies room and girls room - DS1 to excavate his room tonight to be hoovered LOL
Made some enquiries into tracking down decent competent dentist for my now very traumatised DD2
Located correct size PE pumps for DD1 (long story LOL) and dealt with stroppy teenage tantrum and not having Perfect PE kit yesterday....sigh...
Walked doggy
Fed DC (cottage pie)
Bathed all (although dd1 refused to have a shower...but I had given up by this point LOL
Rebooted laundry - yes again!
tidied dinner away, dw on etc...
homework (thankfully minimal)
Littlies to bed
Watched Dr Who with big ones
Big ones to bed
Collapsed on sofa and ate cream donught oops LOL!

So things not too bad , although this morning still was chaos....not sure what has happened to our morning hmm

so far today have done:
6 Dc up, dressed , breakfasted and to school with missing PE items and swimming stuff
Walk with doggy, dd4 and ds2
Took doggy to vets for check up - all good!
Home - DS2 early lunch,
Early nursery drop off for dd4 for lunch club
Home - DS 2 nap yay!
Now: cuppa and mn time

to do:
Make tuna pasta bake fpr tea
laundry reboot
hoover stairs

.... not sure what else will have to think!....
Then

School pick up
dance club pick up
walk doggy
dinner
baths
homework
bed!!!

Will really try to catch up for individuals later....

jas so sorry to hear about your loss. It is hard. My FIL passed away at the sart of the summer, and it was all a very stressful time. Definitely not what you need right now. Hope things go smoothly with the arrangements and good luck to your DH on the job front...sending you a big un-mn hug!

Wolfcub Wed 16-Sep-09 13:26:07

afternoon all

just a quick nip in

jas my thoughts to you and dh, I'm so sorry for your loss

an yes he's often like this, I think it's his age (nearly 3)

tea he's very clever, I remember having a model dodecahedron in my 1st year of primary in the class, it was fascinating

hello to everyone else I'll be back later.

Makingchanges Wed 16-Sep-09 13:34:24

Hi All

Refusing to do housework on my birthday but thought I'd pop in to catch up

Actingnoram - I work in three schools. One I do volunteer reading in and the other two I am a volunteer classroom assistant. I wrote to the schools for the last two to get a place giving my experience etc but was able to do it as most schools have a policy of helping students and I am doing it as experience to get me into teaching. I did find however that when I approached DDs school they would be more than happy to have me volunteer but only as a parent helper 'making juice at sports day' so I think it depends on the number of volunteers they have - You would need to be CRB checked. I know that the schools that I work in actively encourage parents to come in and help with reading etc.

Jas - sorry about FIL

Been in to school this morning and off to evening class this evening so this afternoon I'm putting my feet up with a choccy bun

Catch up with you all tomorrow

Makingchanges Wed 16-Sep-09 13:35:07

sorry actingnormal - don't know what happened with your name there

TeaMonster Wed 16-Sep-09 13:58:27

Now on DH PC, so can type a bit better

Jas I am so sorry for your DH loss, being disfunction will possibly just make it harder sad

galen Wow you did have a spurt last night.

SImply How are you finding not working?

Actingnormal I am very lucky with my counceller, she is a wonderful lady who speicalises in long term illness and disfigurement, so really understands and can focus my feelings.

Wolf DS2 is very similar to your DS and it can be really hard. He delibratly hurts me if he doesnt get his own way. I am hoping Preschool will help calm him down. He is so strong willed.

Groucy Please take it easy, dont want Boris to get active again yet

scarry Why doesnt DS want you to tallk to the other mums???

DS1 is far too clever for his own good, but then I dont have anything to compare the two of them too IFKWIM.

No flying done, but I do have a stroppy DS2 on my hands

SimplyIsGoingToLearnToFLY Wed 16-Sep-09 14:11:04

Hello again all.

Still to do:-
~ walk the dog
~ do food shopping
~ finish the ironing

TM As yet, I'm still in the honeymoon phase. smile I'm sure I'm going to miss it but giving up for a while is the right thing to do for the whole family just now.

Right. I'd better to and do the food shopping. See you all later!

wendyhappysmile Wed 16-Sep-09 14:37:18

Hiya all

Jas {{{massive hug}}} You are doing brilliantly with all that is going on in your life. So sorry to hear of your DH's father.

Galen you amaze me!
Tea hi and hope DS2 stopped the strop
grouchy are you taking it easy on Dr FlyLadies' orders?!
scatty hi - well sometimes there's not much else to discuss with some mums at the school gates, is there!
Simply thanks for thread
acting Blimey, what a post! Glad you are doing ok
Wolf keep on trying with DS - my DD is 3 in November so they must be similar ages.
swan hope you stop whizzing around and get a cuppa!

sorry if I missed anyone!

Did I tell you ladies I have a swimming lesson tomorrow? I finally booked one - well my friend actually gave my number to her daughter's swimming teacher and got her to ring me after two months of waiting for me to pluck up the courage shock I am feeling nervous thinking about it!

Best go and wake DD to pick up DS from school. yesterday he was the worst yet after school - massive meltdown!

EHM Wed 16-Sep-09 14:51:41

Jas firstly {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} from me we all need them sometimes. Sorry for dh's loss. I hope you find the strength as a couple to deal with the tough timesad Good luck on the job from for DH.
simply thanks for the thread.
actingnormalgood luck with flute practice-great dressing routine the points system sounds fabsmile
swan love your postsmile
go glad yesterday was ok-hope today is better.smile
scatty Ellie hates me singing I am not allowed! Is there anything in particular ds doesn't want you to mention?
tea they do polygon stuff in reception classshock
galen phew that some post-have a good day.smile
wolf I've always loved the sound of 'dodecahedron' since I was littlesmile Hope you & ds have a better day today.
makingchanges Happy Birthday

I have had wasted dayhmm Me & Ellie took car to garage for 815 this morning for MOT. After having look around our local market & then dropping Ellie off at PS for 915. I then arrived back at garage for 10. Failed MOT needs 1 new tyre, 2nd tyre very close to legal limit. Also needs suspension thingy. So had to phone DH, discuss with him. By this time too late to walk home as 40/45 mins walk from garage & its very close to PS. Due to pick Ellie up at 1230. SO back into town.
After collecting Ellie, headed home to discover no keys.
Back to garage collect house keys & home.
Need to collect car after 515. So no swim or pilates.

EHM Wed 16-Sep-09 14:54:21

wendy sorry x post took me so long to type mineblush. Good for you booking swimming lesson very proud of you.smile If its any help Ellie's little friend was like that after her first week at school. I think things have improved as she started beginning of September.

EHM Wed 16-Sep-09 15:03:53

wendy forgot to answer your question from yesterday. Out of the few I've viewed none are likely contenders. A bit smelly & dirty is an understatement. Viewed new build yesterday too, which is a possibility. But there are a few questions with this one. As its a t the other side of town we want to be. But also near then 3rd school I visited which I liked. I've only been looking a renting near the 1st school I visited. It would be so much easier if we didn't have to rent & could buy.

swanriver Wed 16-Sep-09 16:23:13

Done
haircut for ds1
(Galen, the older and sweatier they get the less they like being told to wash - my 9 yr ds1 hangs onto his clothes for dear life - and then won't get out once in!

Told ds1 the Facts of Life today, he was horrified shock and had to watch Simpsons to recover his wits. He kept saying No No it can't be True. For some reason twins have already had the talk and are completely fine about it.

Done
lots more paperwork sorting
laundry

EHM
a v frustrating morning for you - sorry

Did Ds2's homework straightway smile
Shepherd's pie made earlier
Off to Beavers and Brownies tonight

Wendy, brave first step on swimming
TM - o to have spatial skills!

Need to collect dd from Invasion Games now.

EHM Wed 16-Sep-09 16:43:16

swan you are brave doing facts of life talk.How old is ds? Lucky for me so far I've told Ellie that we went to see a special Dr in London who put Ellie in my tummy & them opened Mummy's tummy & pulled her out. I think thats enough so far. grin

I've found out that my old place of work is being closed & all being made redundant-sad

EHM Wed 16-Sep-09 16:44:02

sorry swan he's 9 I just didn't read the post correctlyblush

RubysReturn Wed 16-Sep-09 16:48:13

hI ALL
Crazy day, but good.

Sorry to hear of your bereavement Jas.

TeaMonster Wed 16-Sep-09 17:16:15

Swan well done on having the talk. Both boys know they come out of mummys tummy and that it take a man and a woman to make a baby, but thats it. My leading line will be "What do you think happens?"

EHM Sorry about the pants day - we all have them. No to the polygons, just DS1. Tonight was cylinders around the home. I am not sure I am going to be able to keep up with him. None of the other children get these extra's!!! I know I shouldnt complain and I would be complaining if he got disrumtive due to bordom, but finding the time at the moment is hard.

Wendy I have Muse's new albulm, some of it is very Queen like hmm

Swan what is Invasion games???

DS1 is in my bed watching Dora nd DS2 is in the conservatory watching Handy Manny

I have managed to:

Get the swimming stuff washed
dried
Spag bol in the slow cooker
colouring with DS2
Dropped phil and Teds at the courier company
Boys clothes out for tomorrow

To Do's

Shopping list for tomorrow
sort fridge
Dinner
DW
Wash on
List some stuff on ebay
Talk to Bro - just back from 2 weeks in Disney
Birthday card and wrap pressies
ironing

Type up councelling session, but I need my keyboard sorted, which I guess DH will do tonight as the new one has arrived - cool

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