Worms or maggots help(10 Posts)
which he gave to me and DH.
I work full time and DH looks after DS (13 months) 2 and a half days. We could afford a dishwasher and afford a cleaner but DH does not want this.
DH is very keen on doing the washing up himself and sees it as his job. Every so often I find the time to actually wash the sink down and wipe the grease away etc. I am the one who picks all the bits out of the sink in the morning etc.
Anyway, today I was clearing the sink and moved the dishdrainer, which I bought a couple of months ago. I washed it properly and then found little wormy things in the grease underneath .
I told DH I was worried about this (?maggots) and that we really need a cleaner. DH said he thinks the house is too untidy to get a cleaner to come in. Despite being the main breadwinner, I am the only person who cleans the bathroom/ it is me who tidies up etc. Though DH is good at putting the washing on and some other household jobs.
1. I need to work out whether it is maggots or not
2. I need to make a plan for actually getting more things done round the house, possibly at the cost of upsetting DH.
Any advice please?
PS have changed name as [blush}
(mysteriously lost first line)
I was unexpectedly at home today as DS had vomiting bug, which was going round nursery and...
if you can afford it, get a cleaner and a dishwasher
why on earth doesn't your DH want this?
just do it
DH thinks dishwashers are unecological. Also, we have a built in space for a dishwasher, but it would be a bit awkward (it would be by the door as you come in and not near the cupboards for plates) and would have to be slimline.
DH says that if we tidied up more it would be easy to keep the house clean. The problem is that neither of us is particularly tidy and unfortunately it is usually me tidying up. And I work 4 and a half days a week plus have work / study to take home. When I get home, I usually get handed DS who is awake till 9.30pm ish and still breastfeeds at nights most nights. I can get up at 3-5ish am and do stuff, and if we have people coming round I have done this.
It is a shame though as I like cooking and socialising and the house is such a state that it puts me off inviting people over.
get a cleaner in to do a one off deep clean and tidy
this will help you keep on top of it and then get someone in every 2 weeks
gve DH a list of everyday chores to do (like cleaning sink out)
it is nuts to get up at 3 am to tidy IMO
Doesn't really matter if it is maggots or worms does it - not good (and I suspect it is maggots)
Re the dishwasher - I have just got a slimline one and it is great... tell DH that dishwashers use less water than washing up by hand (that's what I tell myself anyway) - buy the most energy efficient one you can afford (mines a Bosch Exxcel -triple A rated) and eco friendly dishwasher stuff. If I really don't have much washing up (dinner out, sandwiches for lunch) I do try to do it by hand...instead of hand washing up DH can be cleaning the kitchen...
I often thought about a cleaner - but unless you get a really good one they won't tidy up for you...but it does make you tidy up at least one day a week...usually the night before they are due in!
You sound like you just have too much to do...all I can suggest is you take a deep breath and take some time to get really organised...and rope DH in too..surely the maggots should shock him into it.
I used to have a rota for myself and wouldn't go to bed until I'd done the jobs for the day...ie Sunday- washing and clean whole house, Monday - ironing, printing/computer back up/virus check, Tuesday - paperwork/organise week etc etc.
Write down what needs to be done and try and plan the jobs so that you can do more than one thing at a time ( washing is in the machine whilst you do the cleaning, computer is backing up whilst you iron etc etc)
If you keep on top of the cleaning it shouldn't take long to do the whole house ...and every week try and concentrate on one room/job (ie clean under the bed/ defrost the freezer).
Declutter as much as possible and get good storage boxes (appearance is less important than practicality)- get DC to help tidy away the living area before dinner, their bedroom before bed...make rules - coats and bags in the cloak room, shoes by the door etc etc. Before long these things will become automatic. And it will all help to 'train' your DC (make your life easier when they are older).
My DP worked long hours - so wasn't around to help but give your DH jobs to do and/or even get him to take DC out on Sunday/cleaning day (so you can get more done). Oh and make sure that you rota in at least one evening off and leave a weekend day free for family fun stuff.
And to be really sad... when I went back to work when DD1 was 3 mo I found it really hard going (especially) in the morning ...up and downstairs, backwards and forwards - used to take about 2 hrs to get ready. So I wrote down everything I had to do (including things like 'put kettle on to boil', 'make coffee' 'empty steriliser') then decided the most efficient way of doing them...wrote a list and followed it exactly ...it took much less than an hour and was much less stressful ...
I should say in the past I have been described as the most organised dis-organised person someone had ever met...
I have to be organised in the morning. I usually make breakfast for us both, so that I get DH up, then take them both on nursery days to the nursery (which is sort of affiliated to Dh's work, so is round the corner from where he has to be at 9ish).
We need to declutter a lot! But when I get home I've been apart from DS all day and he just wants cuddles. And by the time he is in bed asleep, I'm falling asleep too (I think the pre-bed breastfeed is very sleep inducing)
I sympathise with the breast feeding sleepiness...I used to fall alsleep with DD1 and then wake up at midnight and start running around to get things done...but then I'm a night person -
Why don't you make a rota and get DH to do stuff on the days he is looking after DS?
IMO DCs can have just as much fun 'helping' you as when playing with toys...
DD1's favourite was vacuuming the carpet with her brick truck and whilst DD2 loves doing the washing especially putting pegs in the peg bag...
Also make tidying away toys a game ...drive the cars into the box, sort the bricks into different shapes, colours as they go back in the tub...
'Rules' really do help - no more time wasted looking for DCs stray shoe when you are running late ...
Don't be too hard on yourself - I went to pick something up from someone with 4 DCs - they had dust bunnies in their hall - not that I have never had them just if I knew someone was coming round I would have cleaned the hall at least - now (with just 2 DCs and as a SAHM) I am past caring what people think - but I make sure the kitchen surfaces and the loo are clean...
I think a dust bunny is a collection of furry dust.
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