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We are killing ourselves. Help us to stay alive without drowning in dust and horridness.

(22 Posts)
Cappuccino Thu 11-Sep-08 12:54:07

dh and I have nothing left. Dh works v hard, I work, I am still recovering from ME

no-one is doing the housework

I am not doing it I am fucked

dh is not doing it he is fucked

it is no-one's fault no "he should pull his weight" because the truth is he tries but we are both fucked

if I get a job after Nov I am getting a cleaner at least till I get a bit better but atm I only have a contract till end of October so can't afford one

SO - bare minimum. What do we do/ not do?

(sorry about swearing but you know, I'm fucked)

doggyandteddy Thu 11-Sep-08 12:58:23

Hi Cappuccino
I don't have any advice - sorry, just lurking waiting for tips too! wink

scattyspice Thu 11-Sep-08 13:02:45

Sympathies Capp. Sounds grim sad.

Try and get in a routine (well 3 routines).

Morning: wipe bathroom and toilet, put a load of washing on and wash up after breakfast.

Afternoon: Dry washing, wash up, unpack school - work bags and put stuff away and repack.

Evening: wash up after tea. Fold and put away laundry. Tidy up toys before bed. Lay out clothes for tomorrow. Make pack lunches. Make to do / shopping list for tomorrow.

Once a week: iron. hoover, dust, change beds.

Ignore everything else unless desperate.

All this is Flylady.

Good luck.

Cappuccino Thu 11-Sep-08 13:03:34

I do do flylady Scattyspice, and it is good

but I still end up with a massive fecking list sad

LoveMyGirls Thu 11-Sep-08 13:03:43

empty bins
cook & eat & wash up/ dishwasher (one cooks one washes up)
washing (one load a day) (i fold while I sit by the bathroom door when dd2 is in the bath or I clean the bathroom while she's in the bath)
allow 10mins per day for anything else that is urgent.

LoveMyGirls Thu 11-Sep-08 13:07:16

Can you ask dc to do anything?

mine are 9 and nearly 3 they tidy toys, dd1 puts her own washing away and keeps her room tidy she can also wash up/ empty dishwasher etc she also cleaned the toilet the other day but she didnt tell me this and i sat on a soaking wet toilet because she had cleaned it with a soaking wet sponge but at least she tried.

Cappuccino Thu 11-Sep-08 13:08:54

LMG only a bit

they need help - dd2 is only 3, and dd1 has cerebral palsy. She wants to help, and she is so sweet and lovely, but she needs help helping iyswim

you can unload the dishwasher yourself in 3 mins or you can stand over her for 7 minutes wincing at what she might do with the knives

LoveMyGirls Thu 11-Sep-08 13:11:00

Ok so not the dishwasher then but she can help sort the washing into loads, put clean clothes and toys away and maybe empty the bins?

Cappuccino Thu 11-Sep-08 13:16:20


yes we should start doing it as family activity shouldn't we

yes yes ok

Cappuccino Thu 11-Sep-08 14:06:24

also I hear you with toilet

dd2 is often flooding out downstairs loo in order to 'clean something' in sink

Jahan Thu 11-Sep-08 16:21:02

Now its getting colder, try to cook one pot dishes as it saves on washing up and keeps the kitchen tidier.

The things I always try to do no matter what is;
Clean Kitchen and lounge every eve
Clean bathroom (most days just the toilet and wiping the sink) every morning.

bozza Thu 11-Sep-08 16:23:49

lovemygirls can your DD reach to put things away? I think this would be the problem for DS who is 7.

EffiePerine Thu 11-Sep-08 16:26:47

you can clean most things with baby wipes

not doing the dusting for a couple of weeks isn't going to kill anyone, but cleaning the ktichen and bathroom weekly is a good plan

wash up and pick up before bed (both of you)

then again I am a slattern grin

oh and storage can really help - get rid of piles of stuff that just add to the mess

Cappuccino Thu 11-Sep-08 19:58:25

I am paring down my list right now

EustaciaVye Thu 11-Sep-08 20:53:13

Hi Capp.

Go back to the principle of babysteps. While you arent able to blitz, then do what you can in small chunks. I know you do flylady so you probably have morning, afternoon and evening routines but my guess is you arent able to do them. Re-visit them and look at what needs to be done every day and what can be done just once a week instead.

For example, you need to do a load of washing evey day otherwise it piles up and becomes unmanageable. Therefore you need to dry and put it away each day for the same reason so work out which part of the day you will do each task. Eg, AM wash, Aft dry, PM put away. Same with washing up/dishwasher etc. Clean the loo in the morning before you come downstairs, same wiht making the bed.

Try not to leave a room without doing ONE thing to make it better.

Dont stress though. If the kids sleep in the same sheets for 2 weeks rather than 1 it really wont hurt them. Get them to pick all toys off their bedroom floors so you can hoover. Same with living room - get the kids to pick everything off the floor and dump of sofa. You can then hoover and between you, you can rehome the mountain that ended up on the sofa grin

Hope that helps a bit.

Oh, and plan for the next few days not the next few weeks. If you have a huge list of things you know wont get done for at least 3 months because of time/money etc it can be soul destroying...

EustaciaVye Thu 11-Sep-08 20:54:25

And I second using babywipes

eekamoose Thu 11-Sep-08 21:05:01

I find tidying away toys daily a bit pointless. Ok so it makes you feel better to have a clear space but it will only be exactly the same this time tomorrow. When my DH isn't here (he works away a lot) I don't put toys away in the evening, but I do get round to it at some point in the next day or two, whilst at the same time sort of half playing with them with the dcs. They really only need to be off the floor when you want to hoover. So get a big basket and chuck em all in. Later, with the dcs help, you can put them all in their right places. But this really doesn't have to be done every day.

Dust isn't harmful for most people. Mouldy food in fridges is, and dirty dishcloths and tea towels. Sleeping in less than perfect sheets won't kill you. Not having clean underwear every day is A BAD THING.

So food, cooking, cleaning the kitchen (not necessarily the floor if you are really fucked), cleaning the bathroom and washing take priority. All else is a bonus wink.

giraffescantdancethetango Fri 12-Sep-08 09:45:50

either the fly babysetps thing

or if house is really "bad" then could you afford someone in to do a deep clean, then you could keep a small routine everyday to keep it up.

FourArms Fri 12-Sep-08 10:26:25

If you can't afford a weekly cleaner, can you afford a one-off blitz? I'd imagine starting with a clean house would be easier to maintain than trying to get a dirty house clean.

FourArms Fri 12-Sep-08 10:30:27

Great minds GCDTT

I like having a hoovered carpet, but can't always be bothered to tidy toys away (all toys have specific boxes). So, I either chuck everything into one box, or chuck it all on the sofa and just hoover. It all comes back out, but at least it's a clean floor.

ColumboWearsControlPants Fri 12-Sep-08 16:48:06

Just curious, those of you who advocate the use of baby wipes - what for exactly?

EustaciaVye Fri 12-Sep-08 16:49:30

I use baby wipes for dusting mainly, windowsills etc. And also any finger marks on walls tend to come straight off with a wipe.

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