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Going Insane already! What should a 14yr old and a 12 yr old be helping with in the house please?

(20 Posts)
milkybarsrus Thu 31-Jul-08 12:43:27

I seem to be running from one room to another cleaning and tidying up after everyone and its driving me insane! So far i have refused to put dp's ever growing pile of clothes away that are growing higher and higher each day, but thats about where my protest ends. I want to enjoy the school holidays but my day seems to be taken up with chores, shopping etc. I need to know whats excepted when it comes to helping out around the house. they will do stuff but only when nagged and nagged about it and its wearing me out!

milkybarsrus Thu 31-Jul-08 12:44:43

p.s I also have a 2 year old who is being potty trained and that undoes any good that i do re the housework!

scorpio1 Thu 31-Jul-08 12:44:54

when i was 14 my job was to help mum in their guesthouse - hoover, dishes, beds, bathroom, all sorts.

They could do jobs to get their pocket money.

Skribble Thu 31-Jul-08 12:52:58

Mine are 8 and 11.
Put own clothes away (Ok sometimes the pile is put straight in and not put away properly)
Bring down dirty clothes for washing when asked.
Take up piles of stuff I find in living room that belongs to them, but will also do a round up of stuff when asked.
Take turns setting table and clearing table.
Will help when asked to do jobs like emptying dishwasher and helping to bring washing in.

Perhaps the time has come for you to do a chores chart. That way they know what they should do each day rather then you having to tell them and it all going down the naggy route. Allocate tasks, let them pick a few to take on and have a few floating tasks that if they make the effort to do and tick it off they get extra privilages. Gives them a bit of control and tangible rewards, rather than them waiting until asked each time.

OurHamsterisevil Thu 31-Jul-08 15:32:03

When I was 14 I did the ironing for everyone in the house.

Also have a four year old who can load and switch on the washing machine. Can actually be trusted better than his father to sort light from darks too

OurHamsterisevil Thu 31-Jul-08 15:33:22

DS1 also puts ironed clothes away, his and DHs. [instertotallysmugemoticon]

bythepowerofgreyskul Thu 31-Jul-08 15:35:46

by 12 & 14 they are physically ca[able of almost everything you do.. it isn't unreasonable to get them involved
As for the washing that isnt put away I would stop nagging. Just make it clear that if it is still in its current location by sunday night then it is all going in a bin bag and being taken to a charity shop.
(make sure they think you mean it)

zaphod Thu 31-Jul-08 15:40:37

My 14 year old mows the lawan, but gets paid. They each have a room that they are responsible for a day, so sitting room, kitchen, or hall and bathroom. Thats the 14yo, the 12yo and the 11yo. I find it impossible to get the 6 and 5 yos to help yet. And they do the dishwasher in turn. I get them to do chores after breakfast, so we can go out and leave a tidy house.

RedHead81 Thu 31-Jul-08 15:45:17

my 3yo makes his bed in the morning - well puts the quilt back tidyish, and tidies his toys away before lunch, dinner and bedtime - he gets pocket money for doing this (and bless him, he even puts his clothes in the laundry basket - ok so sometimes the light clothes go into the Darks section, but hey, it's more than what i did as a teen, let alone 3yo!!!

SoupKitchen Thu 31-Jul-08 15:46:06

They can do anything and should do as much as you ask them to.
As A 14 year old ( through my mothers ill health) I was running a house much as I do now.
Cleaning, Laundry, weekly shop and all cooking and washing up.

You should not expect too much of them though, I really didi miss out on my teenage years. But helping in their home is essential to some extent

RedHead81 Thu 31-Jul-08 15:47:12

if they don't put their clothes to b washed, leave it - they will soon complain when they have nothing clean to wear!

Guadalupe Thu 31-Jul-08 15:51:17

ds1 is 10 and dd is 6 and they tidy up, get the washing in, unload the dishwasher, sweep up, put the recycling out and so on. DD less so but they both do something everyday. Ds2 is 18 months and just makes the mess but I encourage him to put the toys away.

combustiblelemon Thu 31-Jul-08 15:58:10

Do they get pocket money? If so, link it to chores. At 12 and 14 there's really nothing they can't do in terms of cleaning/tidying. For the basics I'd say that all their stuff should be in their own rooms (which should be tidyish). They should change their own beds and put their clothes in the laundry basket. They should tidy up after themselves e.g. if they've made a snack or if they've had stuff spread out on the dining room table. Plates/glasses should not accumulate anywhere but the kitchen. They should be getting their own lunch and doing the washing up/stacking the dishwasher.

As for extras like hoovering, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, ironing etc. work out a rota so that they each have something to do every day.

Fizzylemonade Thu 31-Jul-08 18:01:33

Agree with combustiblelemon if they get pocket money it is linked to chores.

I would sit down and negotiate with them over it. Even my nephew who is 9 says "if I do this for you Mum could I then have X"

So they have set chores and get pocket money but can earn more money or treats -cinema/bowling/day out with extra chores.

I have 5yr old and 2 yr old, they both tidy up and put their dirty clothes into the laundry basket. 5 yr old sorts washing into whites and colours, helps set and clear the table. Both help load washing machine and tumble drier.

Hmmm am I tyrant mother??? grin

milkybarsrus Fri 01-Aug-08 11:39:12

Dear mners, love the suggestions. i have put into force some as of today. I have written a small list of jobs to do by 11AM and for each one not completed I deduct £1.00 grin and it seems to be working! They feel peeved at the thought of having to lose their precious money over not doing the chores. I put the 11am thing into the equation because they think i can wait all day and night for things like washing to be done or emptying the dishwasher angry which normally winds me up no end!
p.s how do you get a 2 year old involved though?

ihatebikerides Fri 01-Aug-08 11:56:12

I know of people who pay their kids to do all sorts of basic chores around the house. Whilst I do pay for things like car-washing (although some more training is required for this one - like doing the bits below the trim. Oh, and the wheel hubs!), I refuse to pay for general daily stuff. We all live in the house so we all need to be responsible for keeping it reasonably hygienic. Mine are 9 & 11, and do all the stuff that squibble's do. Plus extra bits depending on how sergeant-major-ish I'm feeling.

ihatebikerides Fri 01-Aug-08 11:56:41

Sorry, Skribble!

ihatebikerides Fri 01-Aug-08 11:58:25

2 year olds can put toys back in the box, or carry bits and bobs upstairs.... or flick a duster (no spray, though. NO SPRAY!!!!) as you go round too.

Skribble Fri 01-Aug-08 16:38:40

grin I quite like squibble

12345678910 Fri 01-Aug-08 16:44:53

when i was 13 i used to work in the nursing home that my mum managed every sat and one night a week my choice of course well the cleaning i did , was unreal but i think kids have to learn my kids r 2 and 4 and i ask them to pick there stuff up when they go to get in the bath every morning they put there washing in the basket and the little one helps me put all her teddies back on the bed etc

we had a rota so when we came home from scholl someone did dishes and other one hoovered the floor older bro lit the fire and maybe someone peeled potatoes and i am glad my mum did this it makes u respect others, u put ur foot down and do a rota maybe with soem reward try not to nag nothing worse lol

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