Housework really getting me down

[Hellopickle]

I've never posted on here before but I really don't know where to go.
My partner, daughter (18 months) and myself have lived with my dad for a year now, he invited us to live so we could save for a house, it's a decent size house and he lives on his own. We have our own living room and the three of us share a bedroom which I keep on top of. I have realised over the last year that my dad doesn't like doing any house work. The kitchen is constantly trashed he takes something out of the cupboard uses it and never puts it back. I've never seen him do the dishes or empty the dishwasher, never mops or vacuums despite having two dogs that are always muddy and shedding hair, bins just get squashed down instead of taken out, he cooks and uses every single pot and pan and never helps clean up after, I cook and I still clean up after.
I've tried asking him to do odd things and he just acts like he does plenty already, we pay him rent and do most food/house hold shopping aswell.
I do have a part time job and a toddler to look after so it's not like I do nothing all day.
For example this morning I plonked dd infront of the telly so I could clean the kitchen for 15 mins. Two hours later my dad makes lunch and it looks like a bomb has gone off in there. He then goes and watches telly then goes out leaving me to clean up the mess. My partner helps out a lot but is working long hours to save for a house.
I don't even know what I'm asking I'm just so upset about the situation its like I'm expected to clean the kitchen multiple times a day. I love my dad but I'm starting to resent him. I'm not sure my mental health can cope with another year of tidying up this much.

[Aquamarine1029]

Tell your father you will no longer be cleaning up his mess. Explain that you appreciate being able to live with him, but you do pay rent and he is taking advantage of you. You are not a maid. From now on, anything he leaves out will be thrown in the bin.

[DonPablo]

That would do my head in too. However, it is his house. So, kindly, I think its best to move out. Or you have to put up with the mess while you're saving. How long will you be there?

[Serenschintte]

Two options came to me.

1. Is move out. But I guess this isn’t an option or you would have already done it.
   
2. Stop using the kitchen items communally. Buy some of your own. Keep them in a separate box. Use and then wash them. Just stack your Dads stuff up out the way. Is that possible?

[Notajogger]

Was he this bad before you moved in? Or has he started leaving stuff everywhere as he knows you'll clean it up?

[MellyNotSmelly]

Is he definitely expecting you to clean up after him? We clean the kitchen after dinner in the evening but we are sloppy about clearing back for other meals. We don't expect anyone else to do it for us, it's just a habit we formed when I had to be on the 6.12 train every morning and out all day. We once went on holiday with my parents and it drove me absolutely INSANE that my mum would be constantly wiping down surfaces behind us, and I'm sure we annoyed her just as much buy not clearing up to her timetable.

Have a chat with your dad about what the expectations are. Maybe he is expecting a bit of housework in return for putting you up. Maybe he is happy to clear up after himself but to his timetable, not yours, and personally I think would be fair enough up to a point. It sounds resolvable with a bit of give and take and communication. Don't bottle it up for months.

[purplepalace]

we pay him rent and do most food/house hold shopping aswell

How much are you actually saving? If it's a good amount I'd just suck it up and continue, if not then I'd be moving out.

He's not going to change...no matter how many conversations you gave etc.

[Fluffycloudland77]

Who did it before you moved in?.

[letsdolunch321]

Write a list of daily jobs that need to be done - ask your dad to tick the jobs off as they are done