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So overwhelmed with mess- please help to get me unstuck!

(13 Posts)
RedWineSmile Fri 27-Oct-17 09:28:46

Good morning,
I'd love to make some progress at home this weekend but I'm just so stuck. Any tips/encouragement would be so welcome.
Everywhere I look at home there's mess.
We've been putting on an extension with a utility room and have made our living room bigger too. It's still not finished (2 months now extending into the 7th month....) so we're are not using our living room yet, everything's happening in the kitchen/diner/family room.

Cushions, curtains, DVDs, cds (I know, though the VCRs have left the house [within the last year]), all dumped in the hall by the builders, etc etc.

Due to a series of the shittiest type of life events over 2.5y I haven't even unpacked the boxes in my sons room, so I feel guilty every time I was in there.

I have papers everywhere (OH doesn't really deal with mail, and the vast majority is mine but quite a lot are my Dad's, which I've been trying to deal with after he died.

The kids are aged 2+5, love the usual Lego, cars, tiny plastic things that get everywhere.

I totally admit I'm not great at binning stuff. When I pick stuff up I'm always like "oh, that was from so and so", " oh that cost £x"_ "oh that could be incorporated into a craft project (that I have no time to do)".
Also, I do bag things up for charity shop or recycling but am so bad about getting them out the house. Our black bin is tiny so I can't chuck loads of stuff in there and still bin the household stuff, and stupidly also feel guilty about binning stuff, unless it is totally, obviously trashed.

You get the picture.

I did a bit of Kondo and ditched a lot of clothes- sustained that, but not realistic for the rest of the house.

I found Slob Comes Clean helpful.

However, this weekend I could really do with some action to restore some semblance of order so any advice/whatever would be so good.
Thanks all!!

Fragglewump Fri 27-Oct-17 09:30:28

Look at the fly lady website and print off instructions for the crisis clean. It will step you through getting things looking better.

FetchezLaVache Fri 27-Oct-17 09:33:17

Have you got a shredder? I find sitting with a mountain small pile of mail, going through it and ruthlessly shredding anything I don't need is a good kick-starter.

Then unpack the boxes in your sons' room, carefully putting anything that hasn't been missed in 2.5 yrs (i.e. most of it) to one side for the charity shop.

Have you got a car? Do a charity shop/tip run as soon as you can for the psychological boost of seeing large amounts of stuff gone.

That should do you for one weekend!

RedWineSmile Fri 27-Oct-17 10:23:52

I'll have a look at Fly lady. Crisis clean Shiva about right.

Y I do have a car (and just unreasonable inertia) so you are totally right Fetchez that I need to ditch the pre-sorted stuff.

I know what's in a few of the boxes. It includes my old school skirt. I left in 1996. Get rid, perhaps!?!

MyVisionsComeFromSoup Fri 27-Oct-17 11:05:52

I'd say you need to let go of any guilt about chucking stuff out. Selling on Ebay/donating is a luxury when being surrounded by Stuff is causing you problems.

If it's already pre-sorted, then take it to the charity shop ASAP. If it's not, what will make you feel better - donating it or not having it in your house? Break the back of the Stuff by chucking the rubbish, then you can donate when it's less pressured.

Also worth remembering that just because something has value/meaning to you, doesn't mean a charity shop will be able to sell it. Sometimes things are just rubbish.

You said you'd Kondo-ed a bit previously - remember that an item has done what it was supposed to at the point of purchase/giving. It needs to earn it's keep (as useful/beautiful) thereafter. if it doesn't, it's rubbish, in the same way as the chocolate bar wrapper is rubbish once it's no longer wrapped around the chocolate.

Finally, if you have enough time to write about it on MN, then you have enough time to JFDI wink. I'm about to take my own advice and get on with some work I've been avoiding for longer than I'm prepared to admit grin.

MollyHuaCha Fri 27-Oct-17 11:14:20

How about this... set a timer on your phone for 15 minutes - everyone can spare 15 minutes, right? During that time, you must swiftly sort and tidy with no distractions. Feel free to stop when the alarm sounds the end of the 15 mins.

Repeat daily - don’t miss a single day.

You’ll soon see progress. Good luck.

FetchezLaVache Fri 27-Oct-17 11:27:36

Are you keeping the school skirt because of the fond memories you have of school, or because it might come in handy one day, if for instance you are invited to a hen party at School Disco?

If the former, take a picture of it (tip from born-again declutterer friend who got rid of entire contents of her home to go round Europe in a camper van), then charity shop it. If the latter, remind yourself that you can easily source an alternative school skirt from a charity shop should the need ever arise, then charity shop it.

Glittermakeseverythingbetter Fri 27-Oct-17 15:38:25

I'm guessing if you're extending, you've thrown quite a bit of money at your house. So the square footage of your house has just become a lot more expensive and valuable. Is it a good investment to then have that new space filled with plastic junk and old school skirts? Or is the space in your house worth a lot more than just storage for old crap?smile

idea888 Fri 27-Oct-17 15:53:36

You could try ringing some charity shops and see if they could collect, then get as much as possible ready before they come? I think BHF might collect nationally, but also lots of other charities will collect if the local shop has volunteers who are prepared to do this, so worth asking.

Fragglewump Fri 27-Oct-17 18:10:55

Also read Marie kondos books - they might just change your life! (They did mine)

RedWineSmile Sat 28-Oct-17 10:23:18

That's all been really useful advice.

I have the FlyLady print out and am working away through that.
Also, it's a totally fair point: we have spent money to create more space and storage at home and it would seem ridiculous just to fill the cupboards full of crap.

I read Marie Kondo's book and it has definitely helped with my bedroom - instead of feeling defeated by her technique for the rest of the house, I suspect just being far more choosy about what stays, à la Marie, will result in a lot of stuff leaving the building!

The school skirt....today it will go to the charity shop! It is just a blue, straight skirt out of River Island, and I used to keep it as a marker of whether or not I needed to lose weight. However, 21y down the line, I think I can figure that out for myself!!

OK, back to the fray!! Hope you are all having a good weekend smile

Mrsjohnmurphy Sat 28-Oct-17 10:41:25

Try inviting someone round? I had a house inspection due Friday from landlord and badly needed to tidy, I like a knob was still in a state of inertia until 10am that day. Surprising how much you can get done in a couple of hours when pressure is applied.

RedWineSmile Sat 28-Oct-17 18:16:47

Folks coming for dinner tonight, so I'm finishing off the i started in kitchen/ diner.

BHF bringing a van on Tues: 4 bags ready already, and OH on board for a books cull too.

Progress is being made!!

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