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Struggling to stay on top of everything

(7 Posts)
nattynat82 Mon 09-Oct-17 13:47:19

Hello there!
I'm pretty new and this is my first post so please bear with me. I guess I'm after some advice.
I'm finding it very hard to cope at the moment with everything that there is to do on a daily basis. I have a DD who will be 2 in December and work full time. My DH has his own business which I do the books for (and am currently doing a bookkeeping qualification for) and all the admin. I also do all the house admin, cleaning, washing, shopping, everything that I'm sure all of you guys are doing. I'm very fortunate in that my mother looks after DD 3 days a week so I also sort out a lot of the running around re. childcare as DH and my mother don't speak (logistical nightmare making sure they don't cross paths!) The only thing I don't have to do is cook dinner in the evening for myself and DH as he does this, but only due to his obsession with having a full on cooked meal everyday (he seems to have some aversion to just having beans on toast in order to save time!) This weekend broke me. I feel like I spent all weekend cleaning, washing, shopping, doing craft activities with DD (which I have no resentment towards - this was probably the only fun part), cooking up freezer meal stocks for DD, looking for re-mortgage quotes for BIL etc etc. My back seems to be in pieces from standing all the time and when I looked at my house this morning before leaving for work it looks like a bomb has hit it. I feel completely deflated! My husband has just enrolled on a college course one day a week (where I work funnily enough) and I seem to be sorting half of this out for him too - pushing him to do his assignments, sorting out his software etc. I seem to be the driving force behind everything and it's wearing me out! I've already tried talking to him about it and explaining that I seem to be doing everything and it's too much for me. I thought that this might prompt something to change but it doesn't seem to have. He might put the washing out now and again, but this seems like a drop in the ocean of never ending tasks that need doing! This morning I felt like I would be better off not living with him anymore which I feel awful about, especially as we are supposed to be trying for DC2. But if we have DC2 will everything just be even harder to cope with? As I write this I realise there is no miracle cure for the busyness of everyone's lives and being able to fit everything in, but having already tried to talk to DH I'm at a loss as to what to do next, if anything!. I suppose I'm just wondering if anyone out there has some words of wisdom which I could really do with right now?
Well my lunch break is nearly over and I still need to sort out a new laptop for DH!
Apologies for the rant!

motherinferior Mon 09-Oct-17 16:22:58

No, I don’t do all the housework and child-related stuff on top of working full-time. Nor do I spend hours sorting out my partner or his brothers....

Your husband needs to do his share but also you need to stop doing all this stuff for him.

motherinferior Mon 09-Oct-17 16:23:42

Why are you doing an extra, unpaid job for your husband?

LetBartletBeBartlet Mon 09-Oct-17 16:26:34

Iknow you've put this in housekeeping, but I think you'd get better advice over in relationships.

You are supposed to be a partnership, so why does it sound like you're left to do everything?

chloechloe Mon 09-Oct-17 16:38:00

I agree it's relationship advice you need. You need to sort out the huge imbalance of who does what before you even think about a third child (the second bring your husband).

Bubbles34 Mon 09-Oct-17 16:53:42

I would tell him to sort his own laptop out!
Get a food order delivered. Saves so much time, I hate having to go food shopping on my day off! 😁

nattynat82 Mon 09-Oct-17 18:02:14

Thank you everyone, will re-post in Relationships instead

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