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Fed up of getting nowhere

(26 Posts)
Namechangeaholic Wed 02-Aug-17 13:13:52

When me and DH moved in we had a bit of a schedule when it came to housework. At some point this went down hill and so things would build up and get messy. When expecting visitors we'd panic tidy and shove it all in the bedroom or chuck it all in a bag and shove it in cupboards. I've had something up with my health for the last three years, can't seem to keep motivated as I'm constantly lacking energy (being investigated). He comes home, cooks dinner and wants to sit down too. We dread unexpected visitors and feel awful for the fact that DC is growing up thinking this is acceptable. We need to get it done but I so quickly feel knackered as its past a point where you can just do a little bit here and there. I'm too ashamed to ask for help (friends and family would be judgy) and it brings me down. I feel like once its all completely tidy, clean and all the crap cleared out we can finally get back on track with a daily/weekly list of housework duties but getting there is a battle I'm struggling with. Please can someone help me, words of inspiration, a game plan, anything! Be gentle, I'm fed up enough as it is sad

notinyournelly Wed 02-Aug-17 13:24:08

Have you got a car and a dump near you?
If so have one of those heavy duty Sainsbury's bags, and set a goal to fill a bag or two each a week and take it away.
Have a small target each week if more is too much.
And 10 mins clutter tidy a day will slowly work.
A great expression I love is.
"The only way to move a mountain is one shovel at a time".
Depending on your kids ages get them to help. I just got mine to tidy the front room. After some moaning they got stuck in and it worked. 🙂

Namechangeaholic Wed 02-Aug-17 14:43:26

DS makes more of a mess when 'tidying' so not very helpful!
My in-laws are coming in 2 weeks so I've got until then to get the house sorted. I'm definitely going to do the bag of rubbish a day challenge as it will definitely declutter. I'm feeling a bit disheartened by the amount of washing to do (plus it's raining so can't even put it out) so I'm painting instead. It's on the list to do before they come so it will be another thing I can cross off the list. Plus when DH comes home and sees me doing stuff he's more likely to want to do stuff too. I'm really hoping I can keep it up. Offloading on here helped, I just need to keep going!

May09Bump Wed 02-Aug-17 16:33:02

If you can afford it order a hippo skip - and just start dumping. They do the recycling for you, with two weeks you haven't the time to sort if you can avoid it.

Namechangeaholic Sun 13-Aug-17 13:52:00

OK so we have 1 day until the day I've been dreading. This week I've not done much at all as have been very poorly, however today we're extremely motivated and have been doing quite a bit. Little one has even been persuaded into helping grin
I have a determined outlook on things today!

emsyj37 Sun 13-Aug-17 14:55:01

Marie Kondo and the Konmari method. Get rid of all the stuff you dont want and it will clear things so that it is easier to clean and just out things away. It is honestly life changing.

BrutusMcDogface Sun 13-Aug-17 17:17:33

Ah, I'm in a similar boat. Returning from holiday a few days ago wasn't the happy homecoming it should have been; more a horrible feeling of dread to be back in a messy, dirty house and seriously lacking the energy or motivation to sort it!

Sounds like you're doing well today, though! That's great! Hope all is ready fir the mil in time flowers

wobblywonderwoman Sun 13-Aug-17 17:21:37

Sorry to hear about your health op. I agree about a heavy duty bag. Keep filling. The way I feel is I am giving myself one more week (have been decluttering for six so far) and that's it. I have filled a large IKEA bag today. It is a pain and I hate it. But it feels so good.

Think of the good it will do you and the charities and families you will help with the stuff.

wobblywonderwoman Sun 13-Aug-17 17:23:07

My other tip is in poundland there are white buckets and I bought pretty labels and have a basket for my occasional shoes, winter scarves, hair products etc. I don't use these everyday so I can see what I need.

wobblywonderwoman Sun 13-Aug-17 17:24:08

My other tip is in poundland there are white buckets and I bought pretty labels and have a basket for my occasional shoes, winter scarves, hair products etc. I don't use these everyday so I can see what I need.

Namechangeaholic Mon 14-Aug-17 11:37:03

I feel so good today. I have one completely manageable room and one that is getting there. I opened up to someone close and sent photos over the weekend. It definitely helped me feel better about things! I'm getting my house back grin
I've got an app on my phone for housework and can sync it with DH so we can keep on top of it all once we're back to the first stage and also reward little'un for helping. Still a long way to go but feeling positive!

wobblywonderwoman Mon 14-Aug-17 16:17:53

Well done !!! Keep us updated. You will get there sooner than you think flowers

BrutusMcDogface Mon 14-Aug-17 19:07:57

Super progress smile

Namechangeaholic Mon 14-Aug-17 22:21:58

Bedtime! Two easily maintained rooms now grin Tomorrow will be dedicated to putting away the laundry. I've cleared out my drawers of old clothes/clothes that are too small for donating, just waiting on DH to do the same. We've ordered some new furniture to help give everything a proper place too.

I'm on a bit of a high and now can't sleep so I've got a pad to write all the daily/weekly/fortnightly/monthly chores on ready to put on my housework rota when we finally get to the golden point. We've agreed that over the next week/few weeks DH will do the dinner/laundry/keep stuff tidy while I go round continuing to do the clear out. That way it hopefully won't go tits up! halo

If it wasn't so outing I'd post a photo of my two beautiful rooms. Also going for a few decorative changes which will hopefully make it feel a bit happier in here.

Icouldbeknitting Tue 15-Aug-17 16:30:33

I found that once I'd got a schedule that worked it was easier to keep on top of it all. My phone reminds me that it's time to vacuum the stairs and I vacuum the stairs. The old me would have gone another few weeks before noticing that the stairs were really, really needing vacuuming.

GummyGoddess Tue 15-Aug-17 21:00:11

Congrats! I have an easily manageable downstairs and am working on the upstairs now. Only issue is that I can't vacuum upstairs during the day as DC is sleeping and they don't like me vacuuming while they're awake so I have to wait for the weekend so DH can either watch them or vacuum himself.

The biggest difference has been chucking out things (You would not believe how much out of date food we just moved between houses and never looked at!) and making lots of room in cupboards/drawers so things are easy to find and I'm not likely to just chuck stuff in the drawers without looking.

Other good things that have made it easy are cordless vacuum but stored behind door in the lounge so that it's out of sight but easy to grab for a quick vacuum. If it was in the cupboard it would never be used. An ostrich feather duster has been amazing as I can dust without having to pick up any ornaments and it's less work than a cloth duster, just shake the dust off outside when you're done.

Namechangeaholic Tue 15-Aug-17 21:42:45

Fantastic Gummy Today's update: I haven't been very productive today as I've felt knackered but this evening I've made up for it! Drawers and wardrobes cleared so only clothes that fit are in there, above wardrobe storage now has clothes that will fit soon (and that I'll want to wear). 2 large IKEA sized bags and 3 large bags for life of laundry sorted and put away. 4 black sacks of clothes to donate and another bag of rubbish. I'm sweating buckets but feeling so much happier! Still a lot to do around the rest of the house but it doesn't feel as big of a job now this is being sorted. It's coming along quite noticeably now... Although people would still have a canary fit walking in! blush

Namechangeaholic Thu 17-Aug-17 09:48:09

I found this link that has made me feel better about what I've been getting rid of. I definitely hoard onto things in the hope that one day they'll be used again. The new me is saying 'Ain't nobody got time for that' wink the downstairs is still in need of work (DH's job) but the laundry is going away nicely! It's so much quicker and easier now that I have space in drawers and wardrobes! In-laws are now coming next week and staying over so we've got all of today, tomorrow and the weekend to get sorted. We now have 6 bags of donated clothes and still quite a bit of laundry to sort through! Yesterday I was a bit lazy so today I'm going to put music on and keep on working through. I doubt anyone's still following but it's helping me keep motivated by writing it all down!

smurfy2015 Fri 18-Aug-17 23:26:36

Cheering you on, you are doing great

applesandpears33 Sat 19-Aug-17 11:04:41

I've been following. Sounds like you have been making great progress. I also need to declutter. The DC are growing up but I haven't been getting rid of the baby/toddler stuff as quickly as I should so it has built up.

Namechangeaholic Mon 21-Aug-17 08:12:53

50 bin bags used now!!! Stuff we don't need, stuff we're donating and stuff for the loft. Every part of me is aching but I'm confident we're going to get there! Bit disappointed with the amount still to do but between now and the end of the week I'm hoping to have a completely finished house! How are you all getting on?

applesandpears33 Mon 21-Aug-17 15:38:51

Well done you! DC have just returned to school here so I'm hoping to make some progress over the next few weeks.

Namechangeaholic Tue 22-Aug-17 21:02:49

I can't quite believe this.. it's pretty much done. Few bits here and there to do over the next few days but I'm not panicking about anyone dropping by unexpectedly. The best part is that it's a few days early! For the first time in ages I'm relaxing and not feeling guilty for it! Thank you all for your encouragement. I'll probably update in a few weeks to let you know if I'm managing to maintain it all. Good luck to anyone else in the same boat, from the other side of things it's really worth it. Here's a few things that helped me:
Make a list of jobs needing to be done,
If you're doing a job and it seems too much then leave it and do something small and quick so you can feel the satisfaction of ticking on of the jobs off,
Keep two black sacks with you, one for rubbish and one for selling/donating,
If you sort things into piles (bedroom, kitchen, bathroom etc) make sure you regularly stop to take them to those rooms and put them in the cupboards/drawers where they belong straight away.

GummyGoddess Tue 29-Aug-17 19:58:04

Congratulations! You must feel so proud of yourself flowers

haveacupoftea Wed 30-Aug-17 03:02:51

Well done you. I'm sure feeling down about your house wasn't helping your energy levels. If in doubt, chuck it out.

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