How the heck do you get everything done plus more?! I'm sinking!!(78 Posts)
I'm feeling totally overwhelmed by everyday life right now.
I work part time 8.30-1.00 every day and pick dc's up around 3.00pm.
It feels like it's never long enough to actually get stuff done.
Every day I receive at least one email from each school with something for me to action or plan for. I can barely keep up with it all.
We're trying to move house so I've got lots of paperwork related to that coming through too. It's all just getting shunted down my email inbox and I'm worried I'm going to miss something before too long.
Trying to keep house tidy for viewings which means a lot of stuff has been 'hidden' so now I can't find things when I need them.
I have kids appointment reminders stuck on the board to make, my regular routine now overdue blood test to get done, dd's bday parties to organise, Easter to think about, school hols to think about, finances to sort out and so on and so on.
It's all just mounting up and I'm barely even finding time to do a decent food shop! I'm ending up going to s'burys every flippin day for that night's tea!!
DH helps when he's here but is at times away with work. Then I have to sort childcare for mornings so I can get to work on time. When I'm at work my mind is racing thinking about all the things I have to do. Then I have loads to do at work.
Evenings I'm often shattered, chronic condition makes me very tired and can flare up with too much stress.
I realise that this is the same for every single mum but I'm looking for your advice and tips to tell me how the heck you manage to keep on top of things. Also realise being on here won't help get things done but I've got home and thought I don't know where to start so looking for inspiration please.
Hi, surprised you have got no replies as MN usually great for advice like this. I have really benefitted from threads like this in the past. If you search for organisation on here you can find some useful threads.
Thank you TooStressy, maybe it is just me😁!
Hopeful for any advice.
Right... where to begin.
1. Shop online. Order groceries when sitting down, for an afternoon when you can do it, or an evening when DH can. Meal plan around this.
Then get your husband to take more on, he is a parent too, make him.
Ignore a lot of shit from school, just ignore it.
Get th children to help more.
Make a plan for what chores do on each day. If you are tired in he evening, then your husband has to help more. If he isn't there, can you drought in help?
To answer your question through, I think it is tough when trying to move house to be organised - it is a stressful time.
I am really not organised but I have found that letting go of the idea of having enough time to do things perfectly helps. Not sure if that makes sense? For example, I started a thread on here about how to start an exercise routine and posters helped me realise I did actually have pockets of time to do it. So you may not have enough time to do a task perfectly but might have time to do something ifswim.
I have a calendar on the wall that all appointments go on as well as birthdays etc. There are pockets to pop in letters from school and invites. I check at the start of the month and get all cards/gifts and buy them, then check daily. If it's not on the calendar it's not happening!
Shop online. We have a pad on the fridge and when something runs out it's written on the pad and that makes the shopping list for that week.
Minimalise and simplify. I have a few meals we all like so I make them regularly. Weekends when there is more time we might be more adventurous. Buy multi tasking cleaning products so you only have a couple of things to take from room to room. Try the unfuck your habitat website for ideas on how to clean and tidy quickly. Everything has a place and everything in its place - make sure the little ones put stuff away too. Eliminate the unnecessary and by that I mean chores/appointments as well as things.
Actually time yourself how long it takes you to compete a chore, it won't be as long as you think.
I used to quite often put off emptying the dishwasher as it was full and would obviously take ages. One day I timed myself and realised it only took me 90 seconds! Now I don't put anything off that I know won't take me as long as I anticipate.
Thanks for the replies. I just can't seem to cope with it all. I'm starting to think the only way would be to give up work!
Even though I work part time, the hours I do just don't allow for me to achieve anything or get on top of things before the children are back!
They are 9 & 4. 4 year old is happy to help, 9 year old is like a moody teenager only interested in being in some form of electronic device. We're having some problems with him which I'm sure are age related
but that's adding to my stressed out feeling too. I feel like a crap mum & wife who can't cope.
Do you get home at 1pm or is it more like 1.30 and you have to leave at 2.30 for the school run? And are you having to eat your lunch in that time too?
I finish at 1.00pm so if I go straight home i'll be there at 1.30. Leave at 2.50 for school. Sometimes I stay on at work to finish something or am in a meeting so will leave nearer to 1.30. My job is getting busier & I'm struggling to keep up with it all in the hours I work but I don't want to work full time. I feel like I'm not doing my job properly either!
I normally get a sandwich at work about 12.00pm.
Is there an option to put the DCs in after school club until 5/6 a couple of days a week and use those two afternoons to get the house sorted?
I do similar hours to you and there just isn't enough time to get properly stuck into anything before you have to get DCs and do snacks, homeworks, dinner etc.
One of the schools has this but I think I'd feel bad as she's only 4 and just started school. They both do one after school club a week but on different days.
Zilphas how do you do it then? It's hard isnt it.
you could try her in it for 1 day a week and see how it goes. She might hate it so decision made but then she might love it! Even one afternoon a week would giveback you a fair chunk of time to tackle bigger jobs. The 9yo can entertain themselves while you are busy.
I don't really think I do do it! I kind of flit pillar to post. I usually find myself taking an evening a week once DC are in bed and getting a whole room sorted (last night was my pigsty bedroom) or I will fold the entire weeks worth of laundry that hadn't been piled in a chair.
You need to go easier on yourself. We all have times when we are "crap employee" and other times when we are "crap mum." Occasionally I am "crap all rounder."
I have decided which things are a priority - laundry, food, making sure DS isn't the only kid at school not in fancy dress. The cleaning can wait, even if MIL likes to mention it 😊
I found the Konmari method of decluttering has massively improved the house and that has had a knock on effect in the way I manage everything else (I'm always harping on about Konmari).
An email every day from school?! Poor you - that sounds really irritating. Can you maybe have them go to a seperate folder and read them once a week? We have a newsletter once per half term and an ad hoc letter every couple of weeks. If we do get texts it's just reminders of what's alreadh on the calendar or stuff like the lollipop lady is off sick. Maybe that's th benefit of a below average school
Moving house is incredibly stressful. It's ok to feel overwhelmed but try and break down tasks into smaller chunks. A to do list helps me not to procrastinate.
the older dc can do general tidying and hoovering. sweeping the floor. washing up. packing own school bag, sorting own clothes...
the screentime is for after chores are done.
the mood is not age related, many 9yo are not moody.
Agree with older one chipping in.
I am always reluctant to post what my Dc do wrt chores because I don't want to sound like i'm bragging but they are 7 and 11 and both have enough chores on a daily/weekly basis that I notice my workload is lighter.
Get your DH to do more. DH and I both travel for work, and its amazing what you can get done remotely - DH did all the online grocery shop last night, sorted ds's birthday party, bought his mum and dads birthday presents and cards, and got new quotes for insurance - all either on the train or in his hotel room.
Then decide whats important and prioritise that - blood tests for you have to happen, so the kids will have to go with you - dentist etc, can you book into easter holidays and get as much done of boring jobs in one day?
Definitely set up online shopping deliveries.
Buy a pack of birthday cards so you always have them in (I get 10 for a £1 at card fair)
Don't iron, seriously it's a waste of time.
Can you spend a couple of hours Saturday morning batch cooking for the week? A shepherds pie, a chilli, a curry, a stew etc. and freeze for later.
Have a couple of easy dinner nights (pizza, egg and chips)
I never do housework as a 'project' (I mean I never think I will spend 2 hours cleaning) but my house is very clean, dishwasher emptied as the kettle boils, sides wiped over while I chat to kids, wipe over bathroom while brushing teeth, that kind of thing)
Chuck stuff out, or recycle the moment it's not needed or broken beyond repair if you don't have time for a huge declutter.
Drop your standards as much as possible, hygiene is vital, neat is not.
Within your shopping delivery get as much milk delivered as you need for the week, same with bread (specify longest possible use by dates)
The world will not end if you run out of baked beans or the cushions aren't plumped just so or the permission slip is a day late.
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