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A housekeeping thread for those with NO motivation....

(94 Posts)
lovelycats Wed 16-Nov-16 09:31:53

Good morning all!

I would like to start a thread for the domestically challenged and those who lack motivation to do ANYTHING.

I have battled with mild to moderate depression, with a sprinkling of anxiety, for about 10 years. My mood is cyclical, and two or three times a year I sink. There is comfort in the regularity of these moods, because I know that it will end at some point. I know that for many people, this is not the case. I feel 100% better when my home is clean and tidy, but there are days that I could quite easily stay in bed and avoid looking at it.

This thread is not just for those with mental illness. Whatever is stopping you from having your home the way you want it is a welcome discussion here.

I would like to point out that I am not a mental health professional, nor am I a cleaner or organiser (dream job - just not organised enough though!). I like Flylady and have also recently found a useful resource for those with depression and anxiety, which is particularly useful for those who are struggling to get out of bed.

First day of tackling the mess

I decided last night that I would start today. I woke at 7am and debated not bothering (good start...). I spent an hour procrastinating and working up to having a shower and getting 'fixed up' as Fly lady would suggest. A shower is a great first step, I have to agree with most of the plans I've read that start with showering and getting dressed - you feel fresh and awake. I have compromised and showered, dressed and tied my wet hair up. Basically, I am at the stage that I would be happy answering the door!

My house is not going to be magically immaculate by the end of the day. This may take me weeks, but I'm going at my own pace. Every little task complete makes me feel more normal. I am focussing on getting all of the laundry up-to-date (this could take days); then some ruthless decluttering/binning; putting away and finding a home for things; finishing with a good clean/hoover.

So far:
-load of washing on
-dishwasher emptied and loaded
-plan some dinner tonight for DH and I, and defrost something. I always forget to take whatever I need out of the freezer. At about 4pm I usually realise this, swear a lot, then order a takeaway blush
-cup of tea!

Job I'm dreading the most today - the recycling needs to be sorted and put out. We have to separate our own recycling into 5 different types, 5 different boxes/bins for the bin men. I HATE doing this. DH does it regularly, but I'd like to do it today.

Would anyone like to join me?

princessconsuelabannahammock Wed 16-Nov-16 09:41:26

I will join you. The state of my house is directly proportional to my mood. At the moment I am hacked off with the relentlessness of trying to keep on top of it.

This morning I am up showered, dressed, everyone is fed and off to school nursery.
Now I am wasting time on mumsnet!

I like to tackle things in 3s - not to daunting that way.

1. Spin clothes and hang out
2. Empty and reload dishwasher
3. Clean clothes away.

Off to stick washing machine on to spin and father washing to sort and fold - admittedly not much there as it has been in airer so long it's back in rotation!

Pinkgeek Wed 16-Nov-16 09:49:42

I would like to join too please!

I have anxiety and very frequent migraines which makes keeping a house clean and tidy tricky.

When I'm in pain or feeling 'I can't be bothered' the chores just build up. Then I'll go into super cleaner mode and want to do everything in one day. I live in a good size 4 bed house - cleaning it in one day is ridiculous!!

I need to be more organised!

lovelycats Wed 16-Nov-16 09:49:49

Morning princess

That's something else that I hate but must be done today - folding and putting away washing that's already on the airer and has been for about a week

While I'm waiting on the washing machine I'm going to walk the dogs. That's something else that will pick my mood up and make me feel good.

Are you listening to music or an audiobook? I usually have some music, with headphones. That way I can carry it from room to room and I can keep singing because I can hear it wherever I go!

lovelycats Wed 16-Nov-16 09:54:22

Hi *pink!

Doing it all in one day is ridiculous, you'll just end up so tired and won't want to do anything again for about a month grin I'm working on the basis that if I keep it small and regular it will eventually become clean and tidy. I still get some satisfaction from little individual jobs, so I'm focusing on a few basics. Anything else is a bonus!

I can't bear to do anything with a headache, never mind a migraine! I do often get pressure headaches, the ones where you can't bend down because when you come back up the pain is terrible. Too much caffeine apparently....so I've cut that down.

Myfanwyprice Wed 16-Nov-16 09:57:15

I need to join too, the state my house is in definitely impacts my mood, I have had mild depression in the past, and I can feel my mood sinking at the moment, it would really help me to feel that I am accomplishing things at home.

At work at the moment, but will keep an eye on this thread for tips!

princessconsuelabannahammock Wed 16-Nov-16 10:06:39

Hubby had a massive sort out this weekend but only 80% of stuff got done so there are piles of tosh that need finding a home. I am tempted to just bin the bloody lot.

I hate folding up clothes and putting them away it's possibly my worst job - hence the procrastinating now - big sigh.

We are having tech probs so I can't blast the music sadly. I like the 15min flylady style blast per room. Need to declutter but kondo just seems too extreme just now. Back to it then coffee.

ineedamoreadultieradult Wed 16-Nov-16 10:15:36

I have just been off work for 3 weeks with depression I am going back tomorrow. Today would be a good day to start the cleaning but I just can't do it. I have sorted the animals and put the washing on. But I am hoping once I get back into the work routine I can do at least 15 minutes each afternoon 1 room at a time. It might at least stop it getting worse.

Perp Wed 16-Nov-16 10:19:24

Can I join please?
I have had depression. We have a 5 bed house that has 5 bathrooms (1main, 3ensuite and 1wc) and I hate it. I've never loved living here. It gets me down. Luckily 2 of the En suites never get used so are rarely cleaned, small mercies eh?
We have a big family, 4 kids all primary aged.

onetwothreefournine Wed 16-Nov-16 11:01:38

I'm joining you all today. I was lucky enough to have a cleaner once a week when I was working, but now I'm on mat leave I need to get in the swing of doing it. Got rid of the toddler for the morning and so far have -
Washed all of the sofa throws and tumble dried them.
Cleaned kitchen and bathroom downstairs
Hoovered floors
Mopped.
Wiped over window sills.
Still need to do -
Hoover and mop upstairs
2 X bathrooms upstairs
Dust upstairs
Put a mountain of washing away.
Currently having cuddles with my newborn and have totally lost motivation for doing upstairs today. Boo.

Pinkgeek Wed 16-Nov-16 11:15:27

Lovelycats- thank you so much for your link! I've bought the app and already 79p well spent! It's brilliant, wish I'd found it ages ago. It's definitely what I need!

Take a look everyone, the language is awful but suits my sense of humour!

Halloweensnake Wed 16-Nov-16 11:19:34

I've wanted to do a thread like this for ages,what you put is exactly what I would of wrote...please keep this going when it gets full and start another one...I don't know where to start...honestly I don't.it feels beyond anything I could cope with...have to go out now but I will be back to read all the replies

Itsafunnyoldgame Wed 16-Nov-16 12:09:18

I'll join, no mental health issues, but I do have 4 children (eldest has moved out so his mess is not here now), they are so untidy and their crap is everywhere.

We are in the process of decorating the smallest room for ds2(10) and so upstairs is awful, I feel like I'm going mad.

lovelycats Wed 16-Nov-16 12:41:59

Wow, so many motivated people today!

myfanwy just take it slow. I do nothing after work, just so tired and drained. Pick a junk drawer or cupboard for your next day off. I find if I do one small job it spurs me on to do some more.

princess I wish my DH would have a clear out! I'd leave his stuff to him. If I didn't ask him to do his own stuff I'd have mountains of outdoor gear everywhere. Drives me nuts. He has lots of storage of his own so he sorts all that.

ineed I hate the day before work. I do shifts so tend to do 3 on and 4 off. The day before I'm due back I feel pretty down and unmotivated. You've been off for weeks and it's daunting going back. Do something nice for yourself today - have a proper bubble bath or write some christmas cards smile

perp 5 bathrooms! I'm ashamed to say that I have my problems despite not having any children (at the moment). Are the kids able to do some chores for you? Sounds easier said than done, but many hands and all that!

onetwothree I'd love a cleaner, but the house is too messy grin It would probably cause me more stress right now because I'd be worrying about making sure it was clean before the cleaner came round! You've done A LOT today smile

pink I deliberately didn't write what the page was called because I didn't want to offend anyone, but it's still very good.

halloween Start small, very small. Don't jump straight into doing a room because it quickly becomes overwhelming. The last time I had a motivation crisis, I started by emptying the basket we keep all the hats, scarves, gloves and lots of other crap that shouldn't be there and washing them. That was enough for me to feel like I'd done something positive. Have a look at flylady if you haven't already, she breaks things down into small steps.

itsafunny When I was 10 I did quite a bit round the house. Times have changed though... Could you pay them? lol If we didn't take our stuff to our rooms and tidy it away we got a ten minute warning and my mother would stand with a bin bag ready to chuck the lot! I had a wonderful childhood and was very happy, I feel I need to add that!

My dog walk took a slight detour and turned into a 4 mile trek through woods so I'm a bit later back than I thought, but I feel better. Dogs are soggy and snoring which makes them and me very happy.

crunched Wed 16-Nov-16 12:56:01

Thought I was alone in this.
I spend as much time as possible out of the house just to avoid returning to the bomb site it resembles.
Reduced to tears last week. The washing machine is leaking but I can't get anything done about it because it is hidden under a pile of (washed) clothes which have no place to go.
DSs room is smelly, DD2s laundry fills the landing (both teenagers).
We are not unhygienic- just so much crap everywhere and I have no clue, or motivation, to start doing anything about it.

princessconsuelabannahammock Wed 16-Nov-16 13:18:22

So I have finished my 3 jobs but Lord it's taken a while. The house doesn't look any better but 5 loads of washing away, 3 loads done - there are only 4 of us but we seem to have masses of clothes. Dishwasher emptied and reloaded. Ds home now, fed and put to bed. Lost my cleaning mojo now.

Got school run later and will have a mad 20 min run around before I leave.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Wed 16-Nov-16 15:37:40

Can I join in? I don't have anxiety or depression, I am a SAHM to a just under 2 yr old who doesn't sleep anymore in the day, and I have no idea how anyone does anything tbh.
I also think I'm inherently lazy as I just don't care about dusting.
I do just about enough to keep the laundry in check, and cook daily so tidy and empty dishwasher daily. DH hoovers and cleans bathrooms. I just hate cleaning.

We also have a clutter problem but we have one of those situations where all the things need to go in a different room. But the necessary room is full of all the other things. So whereTF can I put everything?!
Also see above point about DD not napping. So whenTF do I clean etc?

Today I went on Flylady and it inspired me to declutter a hot spot, fold up a load of empty boxes for the recycling and clean the bathroom skirting board and pedestals etc
Actually the decluttered hot spot just was filing which went in a folder. Which I later need to go through and actually file.
I did also hang a load of washing up, put another load on and do some admin work and phone calls...

But DD had watched too much TV and the house is still a bit of a shit tip.

What a failure. I hate housework and don't care about dust bunnies or cobwebs.

BuggerOffDailyMirror Wed 16-Nov-16 16:32:37

Can I join? I'm a serial tip dweller blush

I do absolutely no cleaning what so ever for weeks and weeks on end (I have 2 dogs, you can imagine the mess) to the point where there's dust balls of hair floating around my living room and you're breathing in a weird rotting smell... then something in my brain switches and I completely blitz the place until it's perfect.. then I vow to keep on top of it and usually manage for a few weeks until it all goes to pot again sad

I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) and my tip dwelling days very much coincide with when my anxiety is bad. I just can't face sorting out the mess.

Anyway, I'm in the middle of a good run at the moment and yesterday decided to get on top of the mess again. I blitzed the kitchen which is now great and will be tackling the living room and downstairs bathroom tonight smile

Lovely to know I'm not the only one!

Marypoppinsisnosaint Wed 16-Nov-16 17:30:28

Eveninh all,

Thank you for this thread. I've got so many jobs I want to get done, however my 11 month dd is so demanding once shes in bed or napping I just can't be bothered.

Whilst she was napping this afternoon I made a start on putting the garden to bed. Got halfway through and she woke. Dh then took her out on his bike and instead of finishing it, I got in the bath. Whilst reading I found this thread and it made me jump out of the bath and get it done. So thank you!

My plan once dd is in bed is to make sure all dinner dishes are put away and de clutter the dining room.

Wish me luck.

Myfanwyprice Wed 16-Nov-16 17:44:22

I'm in, dinners on and so is the dishwasher, going to tidy the living room as it isn't too bad, and don't want it to get worse! I want to aim to have the downstairs fairly presentable before I go to bed each day, and then maybe tackle other jobs once I've got the hang of that!

lovelycats Wed 16-Nov-16 18:09:05

Good evening everyone and welcome!

crunched I would be mortified right now if I had to get someone out to look at my washing machine. We have a tiny utility room, and on top of our washer and dryer is a big pile of clean sheets and towels. They will need re-spun to get rid of wrinkles, not today....

princess 5 loads of washing is an achievement! I've done two confused I don't expect my house to look better for a while yet. You can't clean and tidy until you have got rid of the bulk of the washing.

dontbuy I think you have to get your home the way you want it, and I don't think that's the same for everyone. Even when I'm in high spirits I don't dust every day.

A tip that I learned for the 'stuff in the wrong room' thing is to get a couple of boxes or washing baskets and take them into the kitchen for example. In one basket, put things that belong upstairs/bedrooms and in the other put things that belong in the lounge. Bin things you don't need as you go. Then all you have to do is take the whole basket where it should be and unload.

You've just reminded me about my filing.....sad I have a 2ft pile of it which needs sorting. I hate that too.

buggeroff We have two dogs also, the hairy shedding type envy It doesn't matter how much I groom them, there is hair everywhere. I could hoover twice a day - but I don't. You sound like you're making huge progress!

marypoppins Having small people running around must be so tough! I'm 5 months pregnant with our first.... To be honest, the bath sounded more appealing than the gardening. Don't even get me started on our garden!

I haven't done everything I planned - the recycling is still looking at me. I did take it all out and it's sitting in one big pile that I cannot ignore. I have put a Lancashire hotpot in the oven, made the bed, done two loads of washing and hung that up, walked the dogs and emptied and re-loaded the dishwasher twice.

Working tomorrow (12.5hr shift) so nothing will be getting done, but have big plans for the weekend. I think I need to make a record of what I'm going to do which will make me feel more accountable for it grin

- both bathrooms GUTTED. They are not huge but both have baths.
- start tidying/binning in all rooms and move items that don't belong to the rooms they should be in
- make a meal plan for next week so that I'm not sitting in despair at dinner time each night!
- bloody filing! I actually have a good system in place, but I can go months and not actually put any filing away.

One thing I'd also like to do is use up the food we have so that the kitchen is not overflowing. I'm only going to shop for the basics - milk, bread, lunchbox fillers etc. until we make a dent in this. Should also save some money if I can miss out an entire weeks shopping!

Even though I've not done half of what some of you guys have, I do feel better and a bit more useful today smile

wildthingsinthenight Wed 16-Nov-16 18:19:39

Marking my place!
Great thread. Thank you! X

Halloweensnake Wed 16-Nov-16 18:25:12

Well I've fed them all,done 3 loads of washing.a weekly shop and put it away.washed up.cleaned the kitchen,but that's it. Nothing else.sigh

Halloweensnake Wed 16-Nov-16 18:26:38

Clutter everywhere.3 floors of clutter and crap.where do I start..usually a coffee shop planning what I'm going to do.but never get round to

Halloweensnake Wed 16-Nov-16 18:32:11

Crunched.i read your post and got confused thinking I'd wrote it,till I noticed yr user name...isn't it hard...I can't get going either

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