How do you get anything done with a 3.5 year old around wanting you to constantly play?!(16 Posts)
My house is in a right state. I've started trying to declutter & now seem to be in a worse mess.
The trouble is I am never able to finish a task as my 3.5 year old wants me to constantly play with her.
I work p/t but don't achieve anything in the house when I'm home. She is full on, follows me everywhere, pulls things out that I've just tidied up, wants all my things, scarves, make up etc.
Earlier I shut myself in the bathroom for 5 mins peace & she screamed & cried until I opened it. Then she wants to flush the loo while I'm still on it!
I find it hard even to make tea for her & my ds as kitchen is tiny & she's under my feet.
I seriously need to sort this house out as if it was a bit more organised, less cluttered I might have more time to spend with her.
I see there are quite a few decluttering threads on here but how do people find the time to do it without making things even more chaotic?!!
Find friends with dc the same age.
One week you have friend's child to play for 3-4 hours and the next your child goes to them and you can really get on with a task that's been bugging you.
Some of Flylady ideas e.g the power of 15 minutes.
Before and after photos
Early morning or late at night sessions when she's asleep
I think you might have to do it in the evenings when shes in bed.
Once you have decluttered it will n
be easier to manage. It was quite overwhelming, but I got rid of 75% of our stuff.
I had to send DD to the childminders whilst I was on annual leave.
Now a sort out of outgrown clothes takes 5 mins.
We live on what we need to get by in everday life, no longer surrounded by 'stuff'
I did read the Marie Kondo book & it gave me the push I needed. My DD is 2 & Ive been spending a few hours in the evenings, maybe twice a week tidying, laundry, decorating etc.
Im a LP, so no help at all (apart from childminder) so I know its frustrating.
I do it all in the week, so we have weekends free.
Can you order food online to be delivered? That saves a few hours at the supermarket. I tend to put washing on at 7pm & hang it up before bed on the heated airer.
You will get there, I promise!
Teaching them to 'help' helps. A bit
It's easier to do it when they are in bed or somewhere else.
I plonk ds down with the kindle fire tablet for a bit so I can get things done
Short bursts, play 15 mins then put the TV or iPad on. There are great games you can get that are really quite educational.
I understand the frustration though at not being able to get anything finished, it's a constant source of stress in my life too.
I always make sure that I've cleaned up one activity eg breakfast before starting anything else, that helps things not to pile up
Does she ever concentrate on her playing?
If so, look at 'busy bags' on Pinterest (nb, set yourself a time limit!). Make some you know she will enjoy, and they only come out when you need to get on with something else. Couple these with a couple of 20-minute periods of your complete attention and hopefully you should get 10 minutes to yourself!
You need to let her join in and direct her attention to things that don't cause too much mayhem. Give her a duster for the skirting boards and if you have a nearly empty can of spray polish let her use that. If you are decluttering, let her pull things out for you. Give her the charity shop bag and let her fill it. Get her to make piles of things. If you're in the kitchen, occupy her with the pan cupboard, she can't break those. Let her push the Hoover round. There's plenty they can do at her age!
Thanks everyone it's nice to know it's not just me.
She does go to pre-school or childminder for a few hours every day while I'm at work so I feel guilty if I don't give her my full attention when I'm home as I think she misses me, although she does love p/s & cm.
RubyChewsDay I want to do what you have done, it sounds so liberating! How did you manage to get rid of 75% of stuff? I have thought about taking holiday to sort it out while dd is at cm's but part of me feels guilty, like Im wasting holiday time I should spend with her & ds.
I find I'm rubbish at getting rid of things. Sometimes I just look around the house and think I really don't know where to start & so I do nothing!
I have a few nice clothes that I don't wear but I can't put my finger on why. I can't get rid of them as I think they are nice so better keep them just in case. I have started reading MK but I just don't find it easy to chuck things out that I might want one day.
Looking around this morning it makes me feel really stressed out as the house is a tip. I really wish it could be different. Even if I get it sorted will I be able to keep it that way as I'm clearly not a natural at housekeeping!!
Mine is just coming up for 2 and I do any major stuff like that after 7pm or take a half day from work when he's at nursery or send him off to the zoo with daddy on a weekend.
Futile task with him around.
I gave up trying to do anything while my child was awake. The house stays
slightly tidier now she is in school.
You need to learn the phrase 'mummy just needs to sort this out and then I will play with you. While mummy is doing this, you can do X or Y, which one would you like to do?'
Then get her started with what she wants and then go and do what you have to do. If she follows you, tell her you are busy and need to concentrate so can't chat at the moment.
I really do think at 3.5 she should be able to leave you in peace for 15/20 mins. It's really important that they learn to occupy themselves for a short time. She'll have to do this at school.
It's also important for your sanity that you get the odd 15 mins to concentrate on something.
Also, giving her your full attention doesn't mean doing what she wants to do. She's three, she doesn't really know, and she needs to understand that she doesn't always get to choose, this makes her feel safer. Get her to help you, it will make her feel grown up and teach her that she can do things. I think this is really important. And that look on their little faces when they are Doing A Job is sooo cute 😄
I'm in the middle of a MK clear out. Mostly I do it when my oldest is at nursery but I've also been getting her to help. Yesterday we did Tupperware and she helped me match lids and boxes, then she played with the all making 'bubble towers' (no idea) whilst I got on its figuring out what vases 'spark joy'. She's also good at putting things in the right pile. And we're kondoing her room slowly but surely (today we did socks). Otherwise I stick her in front of the telly
I get DD to help, or do it while she's at nursery (but I'm on maternity leave at the moment so recognise that's not an option for a lot of people).
She won't be forced into entertaining herself by 'being told', but she quite frequently potters off and starts playing with her toy kitchen or doll's house, so I take advantage of that to do 20 minutes here and there before she notices I'm not watching her.
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