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I want to live in a nice home, but dont know where to start

(28 Posts)
DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Fri 26-Jun-15 06:42:51

Please dont suggest Flylady or Kondo, Ive tried Flylady and read the Kondo book (decided it wasn't for me)

I work FT (office job so Mon-Fri days) and have limited funds.

My full house needs a good overhaul. There are areas which look like something from those hoarding programs (corners of rooms, under the beds etc). We have lived here 3 years and still have no stairs carpet or anything in our bedroom (floor wise). The DCs have carpet and we have carpet in the living room and the kitchen and bathrooms have flooring down.

The whole place is grubby.

Where do I start? Its down to me DH is a lazy arse (who while he has some nice qualities - and even does clean, we still live in a hole) Im the one who wants to live in a nice clean house. I want everything to have its place and be in its place.

Where do I start? Do I do a little bit in each room? Pick a room and spend all day Sunday doing it? Do I get the DC's involved (well maybe not the 3YO) What about all the crap we have accumulated? How do I get rid of that easily - CBA with faffing about with Ebay etc, just want to chuck it all?

Any little bits of advice or ideas where to start?

biffchas Fri 26-Jun-15 07:02:40

Hire me. I love organising things! My friend and I keep discussing how we could start a business sorting people's houses. However, if you insist on doing it yourself, I would do it one room at a time, as that way you have at least one room that is a haven of cleanliness and tidiness!

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Fri 26-Jun-15 07:08:24

Its not just insisting I do it myself, I have no other choice. Certainly can't afford to pay anyone else to do it and can't rely on anyone else who I know either. So it's down to me and me alone.

BuriedSardine Fri 26-Jun-15 07:10:19

Chuck. You need the stuff out and if it's been stuck under beds and in corners for three years you don't need it. In the unlikely event you might, the cost of replacement is negligible compared to the pain of trying to organise and store it.

You cannot organise shite clutter.

Once it's gone (bag, ruthlessly, have it picked up, get in car and drop, hire house clearing man and van) come back abscess can go from there.

But that's the first step. Clear the crab so you can breathe. Get a good mate to help if you're in danger of getting bogged down in sentiment. Of course valuable priceless memory stuff stays. Everything else, out.

Think of all the people with nothing who'll be so grateful for what you can spare.

afreshstartplease Fri 26-Jun-15 07:13:38

Op I need to clear out and clean too

Want to attempt to motivate each other ?

I find lists help me sometimes and doing a 20/10 timer

Coincidenceschmoincidence Fri 26-Jun-15 07:14:03

I say this gently but I think you probably need to consider why it's built up the way it has. Do you keep buying things or is it just that nobody will part with anything?

Mil lives in an utter state and we're always trying to help as we can see how nice it could be. She clings on to absolutely everything though, just in case. She's miserable but there's no helping her. We can't even go to stay any more. It makes me sad

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Fri 26-Jun-15 07:14:19

Oh I don't do sentiment in the things I have so there's no problem with getting rid. It's just the doing it. Such a big job. One that I really don't want to do, but have no choice.

afreshstartplease Fri 26-Jun-15 07:17:32

I would love to hire a skip

But they are expensive

I also worry I would fill it and still have shit left and be disappointed

LoloKazolo Fri 26-Jun-15 07:19:46

The reason people use those books - Flylady and Kondo and so on - is that they solve the problem you're articulating. They take a big job - cleaning up a whole house and organising a person - and break it down into manageable tasks that can be done a few minutes at a time. You don't need to use their exact methods, but from what you're saying, "where do I start" "such a big job", they do give you clues to make your own solution.

The time will pass anyway, so you may as well do it as not. Start by starting. Go around your house and pick up all the magazines and put them in the recycling. Collect all the cups. Put like with like. Do one thing each day.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Fri 26-Jun-15 07:21:17

It's built up because DH keeps saying he is sorting it, but I can't see much change in the last 3 years. Our last house was worse and I envisaged moving here and living in a nice clean, tidy home. But it's just not happening. DH doesn't think its that bad, but he grew up in a house that was dirty and needed a good deep clean and decorating.

Lists do motivate me, its just knowing where to start. I'm thinking one room at a time. Get the bedroom done then the stairs. All cleaned and all decorated even if it's a fresh lick of paint.

Number666livesaMrMIller Fri 26-Jun-15 07:24:12

Any chance of taking a couple of days annual leave to sort it while the kids are at school?.
Start at the top, one room at a time and work your way through the house.
De clutter, tidy what's left look round again for anything else to chuck. Repeat in the next room.
Personally I would clean each room throughly after is tidied but you could come back to that afterwards?
I would try and focus on one room at a time, it's over whelming to think of the whole house needing doing.
I think you need to get DH on side, sorry.
When you've de cluttered and tidied think about cleaning really really well.
Open the windows, get an empty spray bottle and buy some Zoflora lovely smelly disinfectant. Mix with water as per instructions and he wiping and cleaning. I'd stock up on anti bac wipes kitchen roll erc so you have no excuse but to keep going.
When it's done, are you in the position to buy some storage? It'll make it easier to keep organised and stuff in boxes always looks better than stuff pilled on the floor!
If I lived near by id come and help, good luck and jut think how fab it'll look when you're done!

NorahDentressangle Fri 26-Jun-15 07:24:49

Do you have a garage?
Start collecting empty cardboard boxes (some supermarkets and shops allow you to take them)
Get a stock of black binbags - the extra strong ones.

You can store it all outside the front door if there's nowhere else, one pile of bin bags to take to tip one pile of smaller bags for the clothes recycling.

It is exhausting ime , lugging boxes of books about for example, but I stick it by the front door and then take it to the tip in a oner (but books to Oxfam)

I cleared pots of paint recently - ended up with about 20 used pots, they are going to the recycling (special container for paint) today. Ok most had a bit of paint in but how often do you just need a half pot of paint?

A big clear out is like lifting a weight from you shoulders ime, so go for it op.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Fri 26-Jun-15 07:26:16

I'm not sure a softly softly approach works for me because I start off with good intentions, but then give up. I need to get it done while the motivation is there. It won't last too long if previous attempts are anything to go by.

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Fri 26-Jun-15 07:28:46

No garage. Anything that goes in bags or boxes needs to be get rid of straight away.

Purpleflamingos Fri 26-Jun-15 08:05:49

If it's as bad as my imagination goes from your description try this;
1 room;
Declutter and fill bin bags in an hour
Boil the kettle whilst taking the bin bags out to the bin, make a drink when you come back and take it to The Room.
Tidy whilst having a drink.
Once tidy and decluttered, clean the floor (carpet cleaner, Hoover, mop?) wipe down surfaces, clean everywhere. You have one deck uttered, tidy, sparkling room.

If you take some time off you're probably looking at being able to do 2-3 rooms a day.

Good luck.

blessedenough Fri 26-Jun-15 08:09:01

You can't live in a clean and tidy house with too much clutter. Just sold our house and took 2 massive van loads of stuff to a friends garage. Literally half of all clothes, bedding,towels. Most books, toys, kitchen gadgets ornaments, pics etc. I threw out 3 car loads of stuff - couldn't freecycle as too much of a pita and needed it gone.

I dont miss a single item and when we move I am tempted to not bring the old stuff to new house. House doesn't look minimalistic and we haven't run out of clothes etc and I don't have overflowing wash baskets - should have done it yrs ago!!!

Some bits like pics I collected in my 20s whilst travelling were hard to get rid of but I don't miss them, my house reflects who i am now. Good luck its bloody hard work. My top tip - don't spend too long looking through piles,boxes etc -fast and furious is the way to do it. If it's been in a pile for months or years you don't need it just chuck it. The cost of replacing is less than the cost of the heartache caused by the clutter.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 26-Jun-15 08:11:42

I agree, you have to de clutter then you can keep on top of things . Then concentrate on one room at a time .

poocatcherchampion Fri 26-Jun-15 08:12:57

I mean this is the kindest way but it sounds to me like you are procrastinating and don't really want to do it.

You've read 2 books and decided not to do it that way, been looking at the junkfor 3 years. How about you get out of bed and get under it, pull the crap out and sort it out? It will take 10 mins to make headway.

Thinking you want to paint rooms when they are cluttered and filthy is another way of making a mountain out of a molehill. Get the place presentable and go from there.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 26-Jun-15 08:16:44

I agree about reading books about tidying , no one needs a book to tell them how to clear up , you just need to get on with it, boring as it is. Good luck!brew

GoStraightGoStraight Fri 26-Jun-15 08:42:15

Tackle one room at a time for a thorough de cluttering and spend an entire day in each one if necessary. Doing that alone will make you feel so much better. Once you can see the wood for the trees them you can worry about the decor and the general grubbiness. If you try to look at the whole problem from the beginning it will overwhelm you. Tackle the de cluttering first and think about the rest later.

It's boot fair season so set yourself a target to do one this summer, anything that doesn't sell, take straight to the charity shop or the tip.

AnnoyedByAlfieBear Fri 26-Jun-15 08:55:15

Me and dh are mega procrastinators when it comes to tidying.

Today I am going to tidy and I'll start with the toys!

I think

Coincidenceschmoincidence Fri 26-Jun-15 17:39:57

Just reading this thread has made me run round with a carrier bag de cluttering.

It's addictive once you get going smile

QuiteQuietly Fri 26-Jun-15 19:09:16

I am borderline addicted - and it seems there is always more stuff to purge. I have little control over so much of the drama in my life, but I can fill a bin bag (when no one is looking) and feel instantly calmer. If you can't face a bin bag, just fill a carrier bag. Don't spend hours fretting about how to get rid of it - most of it will be binworthy as charity shops are very picky these days, and fretting trying to rehome/recycle things appropriately is just another way of avoiding the actual cull. If no room in your wheely bin, stick it in the boot of your car and drop it at the tip. One bag a day (at least), until the house is fit for cleaning and tidying.

There is no substitute for just picking up a bag right now and starting to fill it and no magic scheme or book will make it easier.

ICantFindAFreeNickName2 Sun 28-Jun-15 21:32:17

Why don't you try sorting out just one drawer/cupboard/area a day. I would start in the room that annoys you the most and gradually work your way round it an area at a time. It should not take too long each night and by the end of a week you should begin to notice a difference. I also find that having worked on one area. I get an extra burst of energy and can manage a 2nd or 3rd area some evenings. Once a room is de-cluttered, then maybe plan a weekend day to clean it & maybe re-paint, buy a couple of accessories to spruce it up.

Important things to remember - Get rid of as much as possible, stop bringing new stuff into your house, the less stuff you have the easier it is to keep tidy /clean.

buffersandbumpers Sun 28-Jun-15 21:39:30

It doesn't matter where you start OP! It may help to start with a small space first tho. It also may be worth booking a session with a professional declutterer (they do exist!). They'll take you through the process and help you understand why your house is like it is. Look at the UK Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers for more info and good luck!

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