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am i lazy or just mormal?

(28 Posts)
daisydee43 Sun 16-Nov-14 12:43:57

work 3 full days week
dont ever seem to sit down and relax yet dh thinks im lazy when it comes to housework angry

i do the floors and surfaces in every room once a week (might not always mop but definately hoover)
i clean the kitchen every day and deep clean once a week
bathroom deep cleaned once a week
towels changed once a week throughout
i do a declutter quite frequently as tidying is more important to me than cleaning and all rooms are dressed nice
anything else gets done when it gets bad ie skirting, windows, bed sheets, oven, fridge, hoovering sofa and underneath, cleaning 'unseen' areas

is this below normal?

Munchmallow Sun 16-Nov-14 12:47:34

That's more than I do.
Tell him to to it himself if he doesn't like the way you do it.

beavington Sun 16-Nov-14 12:47:38

No its fine, what does your dh do?

JoandMax Sun 16-Nov-14 12:48:27

Thats more than I do and I don't go to work....

daisydee43 Sun 16-Nov-14 12:50:35

i must say laundry is another of my probs. might have to wash n tumbledry stuff just to wear next day. dh does no housework at all and doesnt even make my life easy by putting things back when used them or tidying bathroom when finished etc

bigkidsdidit Sun 16-Nov-14 12:52:55

That's almost exactly the same as me. I think it's normal.

ChippingInAutumnLover Sun 16-Nov-14 12:54:33

And you put up with this why?

Lovetheleaves Sun 16-Nov-14 12:59:41

More than normal. Made dh empty fireplace yesterday as wanted to light a fire . Even though I was unwell I ran Hoover around and cleaned bathrooms and stuck on a few washes. Change bed linen when I think it's a bit smelly so prob once a week to 10 days. Your house sounds nice and clean. Tell him to clean up after himself .

Mrsgrumble Sun 16-Nov-14 13:02:38

Er... The problem is not how much you do but why does dh think its all your work

I wouldn't be long telling him. Mine was a bit like that when we first married. Not about the house as I like cleaning but he would comment that his mum baked all bread (she showed me the yoghurts he liked and how to bake the bread when we married) then he commented on the fact his mum put a cake in at the same time and how his shirt collards weren't ironed correctly.

I no longer bake bread or iron for him at all. Plus I strip beds and he makes etc etc. he didn't have a clue, was very spoilt.
His brother rings his mother telling her all he does at home so I warned dh never to discuss our marriage or details to his mother (well this type of stuff anyway)

grumpyoldgitagain Sun 16-Nov-14 13:07:01

It's more than I do

Tell him to get of his backside and do it himself

Rinkydinkypink Sun 16-Nov-14 13:08:07

And exactly how much does your dh do?

Housework is not a women's responsibility! It's up to everyone who lives in a house to keep it as they see fit.

Your dh needs sorting out!

daisydee43 Sun 16-Nov-14 13:14:23

mrsgrumble - thats the funny thing. hes mum doesnt cook at all from scratch. shes a hoarder and her home never looks clean same with his aunts. his batchelor place was like one of those homes u see on the telly where only a skip will do. i have tried to telk him but nothing, moans when ask him to take out bin and im pg! he works normalish week. 7.30-4.30 m-f plus 1hrs commute each day

Boltonlass1972 Sun 16-Nov-14 13:14:41

Aye. Much more than I do. I work 4 days a week and just have to accept I can't dust every room every week as I have to rest too !

SoMuchForSubtlety Sun 16-Nov-14 13:19:35

It's irrelevant whether it's more or less than normal. What's not ok is your DH commenting in that way on your "wifework" while doing absolutely nothing himself.

Find out the going rate for a cleaner / maid in your area (and childcare if you do that too) and hand him a bill at the end of the week. If he doesn't like your standard tell him he can find a suitable paid replacement or do it himself.

PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair Sun 16-Nov-14 13:25:09

You do more than enough and if he's not happy tell him to do it himself. In fact, even if he was happy with it, he should be doing some of it too, especially while you are pg. My XH was always moaning about the state of the house, but never did anything about it. Notice he's an ex.

My dp says that when I die I won't be wishing I'd cleaned the skirtings or dusted more, that I should relax and not worry about the little things. In fact he's offered to go halves on paying for a cleaner with me so that I don't have to worry about it so much, and he doesn't even live here!

If you are happy with the amount of work you are doing and the level of cleanliness in your house, your h can go fuck himself.

socially Sun 16-Nov-14 13:33:21

No, that's what I do and I regard myself as a bit of a clean freak.

What does your dh do?

mausmaus Sun 16-Nov-14 13:44:40

and what does dh do?

what you do sounds ok to me

daisydee43 Sun 16-Nov-14 13:49:48

nothing sad

mausmaus Sun 16-Nov-14 13:54:05

ok then he has nothing to moan about.

socially Sun 16-Nov-14 14:02:06

Then he can fuck off op.

andsmileitschristmas Sun 16-Nov-14 15:12:58

Oh he is projecting - I'd rip ten strips off him for it.

I do less and I dont work but do study.

Anyhoo my DH made a comment about me not working with ref to him being ill but had to goto work and now Im ill I dont have to goto work - I a SAHP I do chuff all apparently

So I pulled him up about it and it was not what he meant at all - he explained himself and said sorry for the phrasing. So I stopped ripping strips off him grin

Stick up for yourself - tell him you nt gonna have this name calling. If he has an issue he needs to specify what it is and start a constructive conversation not the name calling.

Redcherries Sun 16-Nov-14 15:17:37

Wow, what an arsehole. Go on strike! Its hard enough when you're the only person picking up the slack without the verbal rubbish he's spouting on top. Not only are you clearly running a lovely house you also have the patience of a saint.

blacktreaclecat Sun 16-Nov-14 15:26:29

I work 2 days and have a cleaner. I do tidying, washing (but not ironing) and the cooking on my days looking after DS. When we 're both off, eg weekends, DH does the cooking and we tidy and get stuff done equally. He does more with DS on these days so I get a rest. I'm a bit lazy smile

Castlemilk Sun 16-Nov-14 15:28:12

'I do plenty. The difference between our home and cleaner/tidier ones is that the other adult there also pulls their weight.'

Repeat and repeat.

Alternatively, divide up chores and actually stop doing as much as you do.

daisydee43 Sun 16-Nov-14 15:59:00

dont get me wrong i love a clean n tidy house. wish i could do more. my mum was very houseproud and did everything for my dad. really dont want to turn out like them

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