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How do you ask your guests to remove their shoes?

(88 Posts)
lostblonde86 Sat 16-Nov-13 12:09:48

Just that really, we have around 12 people over for Christmas dinner, and at least half of them don't automatically remove their shoes at their the door (I was brought up with this being basic manors). Yes so there is a door mat for wiping feet HOWEVER this doesn't even get done!! How can I politely ask for the removal of all shoes before my carpets are messed up?

Yes I'm very fussy when it comes to our carpets! smile

AgentProvocateur Sat 16-Nov-13 12:12:10

I don't. I hope they will, but I know some people are uncomfortable about doing so, so I don't think it's hospitable to ask them to.

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Sat 16-Nov-13 12:14:50

Ask them to bring slippers so they don't get cold feet...

Huuuuuggggeeee hint.

All our family takes slippers to each other's homes. Cosy and makes you feel at home!

You are going to get loads of people with skanky carpets saying you are being rude and they would be offended blah blah blah but just ignore.

iwasyoungonce Sat 16-Nov-13 12:14:52

Shoes are a big part of my choice of outfit - especially for special occasions like Christmas Day. I'd feel really uncomfortable being asked to take them off in someone's house.

Can't you just try to relax about this, in the name of being a good host?

iwasyoungonce Sat 16-Nov-13 12:15:33

P.S My carpets aren't skanky.

ggirl Sat 16-Nov-13 12:17:53

I don't , think it's a bit rude to ask unless someone comes in wiht obviously muddy shoes.

Just try saying ' sorry don't mean to be rude but do you mind removing your shoes'

That's been said to me a few times in peoples houses and I just think <meh another clean obsessed person>
I would be annoyed if I had an outfit on that is ruined by taking off the shoes.
Getting dolled up and then having to pad around in barefeet is weird and embarassing.

Bowlersarm Sat 16-Nov-13 12:18:40

I just couldn't.

I think it is really really rude to ask guests to remove their shoes.

ggirl Sat 16-Nov-13 12:21:11

If I was that worried about my carpets I wouldn't ask people round who weren't guaranteed to take them off without asking ...or I would relax and clean the carpet afterwards.
How do you normally deal with this...presuming you've had guests in your home before?

pumpkinsweetie Sat 16-Nov-13 12:22:43

I don't it's rude!
I remember when i was a teen, i had a friend who's mother was very prim and i felt very unwelcome and uncomfortable going to her house.
Shoes were to come of, slippers to be worn and if you forgot, you would get a mouthfull of abuse confused
Her carpet was nothing to rave abour eithergrin

If you are to be padantic about carpets re shoes, get hard flooring it's easier to keep clean

LittleTulip Sat 16-Nov-13 12:23:15

I would say 'Shoes off at the door please!' It's your home and your carpets. Hate shoes indoors think of all the shit people can bring in yuk yuk

Slippers are a good idea mind

AlternativeMoniker53 Sat 16-Nov-13 12:26:26

You could try the please bring slippers notice in advance just so that people have a chance to dress accordingly. They're still going to think you're a bit rude and odd though.

MrsOakenshield Sat 16-Nov-13 12:32:53

I don't. Frankly, if you're that fussed you need to factor in getting them cleaned in the New Year. As a PP said, people may well dress up and their shoes will be a part of that - not slippers or stockinged feet!

Either you want these guests in your house or you don't. I can (just about) understand for every day but exceptions have to be made for big occasions. I try to keep the heating off during the day if it's just me at home, but it goes on if we have guests - I don't want them to be cold! Same with shoes.

Or don't host.

Philoslothy Sat 16-Nov-13 12:34:20

I don't.

HollaAtMeBaby Sat 16-Nov-13 13:07:27

I hate it when people come into my house with shoes on! I leave a couple of pairs of shoes in the hallway to hint - most people see them and say "oh, shall I take my shoes off" and I say YES.

Maybe you could give everyone slippers for Christmas this year and insist suggest they try them on then and there?

wonkylegs Sat 16-Nov-13 13:31:00

I don't unless they are caked in mud.
But if it bothers you just ask
People aren't mind readers, I some circles it's the done thing, in others it's not. It's not rude either way it's just different for different people but unless they are all regular visitors who know that you always ask to remove them (which as it sounds like you don't ask they won't know) they won't all automatically do it.
If your house is cold then I'd pre warn them to bring slippers.

NotAsTired Sat 16-Nov-13 15:01:38

Shoes in the house is a very divisive issue, I think. I'm strictly a no shoes in the house person. Everybody has to take their shoes off and no one has refused (so far). But then again, there is no one I know that allow shoes in their own houses either.

If its people you don't know, forewarn them. Ask them to bring slippers if they are uncomfortable/cold. Or do what my Japanese friend does, provide slippers.

lostblonde86 Sat 16-Nov-13 15:32:12

Thank you everyone for your views!

Unicorn, i have been saying "dont forget your slippers" each time i speak to someone. I think i may buy a couple of cheap Spare sets wink.

I'm not saying my carpets are amazing, we're not long moved so carpets are quite new (replaced before being put up for sale). and i dont want them wet or dirty plus as someone pointed out you dont know where those shoes have been and what shit is on them!

I understand people dont like removing shoes when they have thought about outfits etc. but Personally in past years they have turned up in trainers/flat everyday shoes to my mothers house (and not wiped wet/muddy shoes), now it's my turn hmm.

3catsandcounting Sat 16-Nov-13 18:54:59

Wearing slippers in someone elses house when I'm all dressed up with my nice Xmas outfit on would make me feel like some Victoria Wood character. Carpet has a lot to answer for, that's why I love my hard floors!

AndyMurraysBalls Sat 16-Nov-13 19:01:31

Is a bit of fluffy fabric more important than your friends?

I hope not. If I go to someone's house in my running shoes or wellies or walking boots I would take them off, but Christmas day outfit shoes? No. And I'd be offended if asked.

BrownSauceSandwich Sat 16-Nov-13 19:07:19

I don't ask people to remove their shoes when they come into my house... It's filed somewhere alongside hiding bog rolls under those doll's skirt things, and leaving the plastic covers on your car seats. On the odd occasions I've been asked to take mine off, of course I've done it... Haven't been in a burning hurry to go back again, but perhaps the feeling was mutual. Frankly, I'm more worried about the crap people spread with their hands than what they spread with their feet.

If you're the shoes-off-in-the-house sort, at least have the courage of your convictions and ask your guests straight out, rather than mimsying around with lame hints (am I the only one who finds "don't forget your slippers" slightly creepy? And I always have a pair of shoes or two kicking around in my hall... All they hint at is the fact that I can't be arsed to take them upstairs.)

PoppyInTheFog Sat 16-Nov-13 19:13:49

I am going to start this rule, and get a chair and some slippers ready for guests, I have never felt brave enough before.

Purplehonesty Sat 16-Nov-13 19:21:26

Answer the door and say "ooh it's freezing isn't it, let me take your coat and shoes and come on in and get warmed up!"

If they are in pretty Xmas shoes its unlikely they will be dirty as they probably put them on in their bedroom and only walked to the car so you could maybe let that pass.
However men trample in mud /dog poo/ tar!! Or maybe that's just my dh!

YoureBeingASillyBilly Sat 16-Nov-13 19:24:57

I visited family for a party a few years ago and as the host was bringing us in she said something along the lines of "I hope no-one minds me asking but would you all take your shoes off in the hall please. the carpets are new and we want to keep them looking good for as long as possible."

I wasn't offended in the slightest, maybe because I would love a shoe free house, but I don't know if anyone else was. no-one said anything so i'm guessing not.

Artandco Sat 16-Nov-13 19:30:36

I would just ask them to take them off. The children play/ lay/ crawl around the floor. I dont want others bringing dog shit in on the floor for them to play over.

I think it's really rude to not remove shoes personally

Queenmarigold Sat 16-Nov-13 19:33:34

I hate shoes in my house, it's rude and when you've got babies crawling it's dangerous. The worst people are old folk, family. I just say, 'pop your coat and shoes in there and come in'- normally they ignore me which I hate. Normally then I say,' shall I take your shoes' and then I follow up with 'can you take your shoes off please. I have babies crawling around on the floor and I like it clean.' Accompanied by a Look.

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