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where do i start

(104 Posts)
jesstheworstmum Mon 07-Jan-13 09:22:51

i just need to get this all out. i need to know where to start.
im a single mum and im in a mess. especially in my house
so much so that when i had to have a paramedic in my house recently they reported me to social services cos my house is a tip sad((
social services just wrote me a letter telling me to get family to help but i dont have any family local
i had a poor upbringing and i just feel like i dont know how to run a house
this morning my son was late for school cos i hadnt dried his clothes in time and i had no dishes clean etc
i know im awful
but where do i start
can anyone help ?

BoffinMum Sun 03-Feb-13 08:56:17


SlatternismyMiddlename Mon 04-Feb-13 19:54:07

How are things going Jess?

jesstheworstmum Sat 16-Feb-13 10:47:45

thanks guys for checking in on me y'all are so sweet

my doctor has advised i try to get more support so i wonder if anyone (even few peopl) would be willing to mentor me ??

just keep in touch.. give me advice.. kick me up the ass ?? i know its a lot to ask ?? ......

SlatternismyMiddlename Sat 16-Feb-13 13:49:39

Of course! Tell us what you need.

jesstheworstmum Sat 16-Feb-13 15:48:59

im not even sure ?! swap email or text or something ? to kick me up the butt and knock some common sense into me about running my home etc ??

SlatternismyMiddlename Sat 16-Feb-13 18:36:27

If you want a few people to help the best place is probably on here so you aren't getting cross advice/help/instructions/hand holding.

If you think it's a good idea you could post what things you need to get done and what you would like to get done for the next day (or week) and we could check in with you and see how you are getting on (poke you with a big stick).

Any other ideas?

SlatternismyMiddlename Sat 16-Feb-13 18:38:32

Can I just add - I have very low standards. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing grin

Trazzletoes Sat 16-Feb-13 18:43:54

((Jess)) housework is a bloody nightmare, isn't it?! I really feel your pain, but the fact that you are asking for help is great. It really is all about baby steps.

MissPricklePants Sat 16-Feb-13 18:49:14

<waves> I'm a single mum too and finally on top of housework. It can be done but I lack motivation (depression can be a bitch!). These are things that I do to keep on top of things
- organise my work things and dd's nursery bag/outfit and put it out the night before.
- Put dirty washing straight in the machine and when its full use a colour catcher in the wash!
- Fold dd's vests with pants and a pair of socks in the middle so she always has some clean and dry.
- Clean bathroom whilst dd is in the bath!

I vac up every other day downstairs, and hoover upstairs once a week. I have sorted all our clothes out and have system (tops in 1 drawer, trousers in another etc) so takes no time to put them away and don't have to think about what to wear. I have several cheap bookshelves in the house for my huge book collection and one in the living room with dvds on it and some of dd's toys in little baskets so its all kept tidy. It has taken me ages to get to this point but pm me if you want to chat, I know it can be hard. Hope you are ok.

SlatternismyMiddlename Sun 17-Feb-13 10:06:13

What is the priority today Jess?

jesstheworstmum Sun 17-Feb-13 10:23:45

i really dunno ! whole place is a ming pit
dishes i guess sad i dunno ! just wana go back to bed

CabbageLooking Sun 17-Feb-13 10:28:44

Jess just reading your thread and wanted to reassure you, you're not alone! I'm hopeless at housework and have been reading with interest for some useful routines, etc. My house is usually ok but certainly not up to in-law standards and I'd really like to get it up to scratch. It wasn't a big deal before but now I have a 7mth old I really need to get on top of things. Hope you manage to get the dishes done (on the FLY lady website she recommends starting with cleaning the sink which really does leave you feeling surprisingly satisfied!)

Anyway, best of luck. x

namchan Sun 17-Feb-13 10:32:30

Could you maybe clean the kitchen and put a wash on? If I do that first thing I find the day goes more smoothly.

SlatternismyMiddlename Sun 17-Feb-13 11:44:13

I second namchan, do the dishes immediately around the kitchen. Put a wash on, make sure school uniform is in it. Then go around house collecting random lying about clothes and put in laundry basket and whilst on your travels collect up cups and other crockery lying about, put these by the sink.

If you feel up to it do a second sink of dishes and sort out a second wash ready to go in washing machine.

jesstheworstmum Sun 17-Feb-13 11:49:57

right im going to go and do more dishes ! wish me luck ! might have to attempt to dry some of the first ones as no space ! :/

SlatternismyMiddlename Sun 17-Feb-13 12:40:01

Good luck!!!!!! Once you have the dishes done give the countertop a wipe.

If the first washing load is done, hang it up or tumble. Put a second one on.

SlatternismyMiddlename Mon 18-Feb-13 08:04:39

How are you this morning Jess? Are you on half term this week?

HotBurrito1 Mon 18-Feb-13 23:11:27

Hi Jess. I'm naturally very untidy and have learned over a long time that all of my stuff needs a home if I'm to be able to find it. These days I mostly stay on top of the mess, but when I need to do a big clean up I get inspired by the before and afters on this site

There's lots of 'good habits' tips on there too to keep on top of things in the long term.
You can do it.

Booyhoo Mon 18-Feb-13 23:36:28

hey jess!

glad you came back to this. i agree with others, keep this thread going for your support so we can all sing from the same hymnsheet WRT what you need to do.

and yes to whoever said depression is a bitch. it really does account for so much of the things wrong in my life.

good for you cracking on with teh dishes. you know you dont have to do all the dishes on one go you know? even just do 10 things and leave them to dry. i really find though that once you start it's easier to keep going.

i tackled my dcs' bedroom yesterday and i really am amazed at how much i got done in just a few hours. i've realised that things dont actually take as much time physically as you think they might. 15 minutes mightn't sound like much time to get anything done but you would really surprise your self if you did 4 15 minutes sessions a day.

keep going. i'm starting to feel so much better about things. i have managed to get all the rooms in the house apart from my bedroom cleared and cleaned. it is a really achievement fro me.

SlatternismyMiddlename Tue 19-Feb-13 10:09:38

The 15 minute thing is fantastic. I also agree about knowing how long it actually takes to do something. I consistently put off cleaning the bathroom as it is a 'big' job. I timed myself once, it takes 10 -15 mins. Why do I keep putting it off?

Jess, if this thread can show you just one thing - you are most definitley not alone. We all struggle at different times.

Hope today is a better day.

Booyhoo Tue 19-Feb-13 12:32:20

yep. bathroom is easy peasy even though it mightn't look like it when standing at the door. even if you just take a box and sweep all bottles and potions off the surfaces into it so you have clear surfaces to clean then grab a flash wipe and have a quick go over of basin, bath and toilet. my bathroom is small so i use a flash wipe to give the floor a quick go over aswell after a wee sweep with the small brush and dustpan. saves having to boil the kettle and get the mop and bucket out every time.

make jobs as simple as you can and you will find things so much easier.

also, tackle one type of 'thing' at a time. for example if the living room is chaos you will be over whelmed at the idea of 'cleaning the whole living room' but if you decided that all you wanted to achieve for now was to lift all dirty dishes out of the living room and bring them to the kitchen then that is far easier to get started and as i said earlier, it's easier to keep going onto something else once you are already on your feet and doing it. it's getting onto your feet is the hardest bit so start with an easy job that wont make you just want to stay sitting.

i also get the dcs involved. so i will say ok ds1 you grab any washing you can see, ds2 you get a plastic bag and put any rubbish into it and i'll clear the dishes. within literally 5 minutes of us all doing that the living room looks completely different. (yes we are that messy! blush)

jesstheworstmum Sun 24-Feb-13 21:35:41

hey everyone
iwent awayto my moms this week for half term
myhouse is a shit tip sad

FaceCake Sun 24-Feb-13 22:03:14

Jess you could be me! I stayed away for half term, came home today to realise I've lost my handle on things and need a kick up the backside. There is something heart breaking about walking in to a messy room. Tomorrow morning I plan on attacking my living room as its covered in piles of clean washing and toys.

What are you going to start with?

jesstheworstmum Mon 25-Feb-13 06:49:58

back to work to day so dunno when will sort the mess! gotta try and start after work i guess !

jesstheworstmum Wed 27-Feb-13 13:37:42

well things go from bad to effing worse
child protection worker came round yday
someones done an anonymous call about the state of my house endangering my son
god knows
what do i do
gotta tidy i guess
aparently my clutter means im an awful mum

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