Grr- AIBU or should DH not weigh in on the house clean up at the last minute full of 'ideas'?!(8 Posts)
We are in the midst of the Grand House Sort Out. Briefly, we've been here coming up 3 years. Prior to that we rented and about 4 years ago we sold our old house abroad and got PILES of stuff sent over to the UK that filled a large single garage (inc furniture, etc). In the mean time, we'd doubled up a lot of stuff, having 'survived' in the UK for 5 years without it (DH did the 'sorting' of what to bring, what to leave on a trip abroad so as you can imagine, an oddish assortment of what he considered must haves that duly arrived here!).
Anyway, as of about 6 months ago I began a huge house sort-out as you could barely get into the single garage of this house! We've had the loft space entirely boarded and are as we speak getting the garage converted into 1/3 garage store and 2/3 sitting room. So we are in disarray, the conservatory full of garage stuff, the garden shed full of tools and bikes.
I am aware that to move stuff from A to B. room at B needs to be cleared so B stuff has to go to C and eventually some of it has to go to either the dump, the charity shop, ebay or Gumtree. I have become quite good at this! But god! DH! I went through all of the 6 bins of electrical odds and sods, largely cables for electronica we threw out 3 years ago, manuals for stuff that belong in a museum, 7 or 8 kettle leads, none of which fit our now 'cordless kettle', old phone systems we stopped using and replaced because they were crap. DH will spend hours poring over it, getting anxious when I say 'bin'- YET, for instance, thinks putting the dictionaries, thesauruses, gardening books and even recipe books in the LOFT is a good idea!
He's hovering so I'd better stop, but GOD!
No advice to share on this but... How annoying! Have a from me.
clutterers/hoarders often do this. I havehad probs at work beleive it or not. You have a chat abotu stuff that needs to be chucked. They agree. Laugh with you about how long it has been since it was last needed.
So, you spend ages sorting. Then, just as you have organised the recyling bins, the skip, the men who come and take it away, the charity shop run etc, they come and hover, and exclaim with HORROR "are you going to throw that away".
I speak from bitter experience. You have to deal with it all out of sight of them. Just lie.
What cables? I can't see any old and useless cables to kettles you no longer own. Is he sure he packed and transported them? Oh well, must have been the fairies, cos there ain't a box of cables in the house now
We did similar, only after moving abroad and furnishing a house OH decided to sell the one back home and transport all the contents here. Then he decided not to sell, insurers said No Deal because the house was empty. He bought the requisite furniture. He toyed with the idea of using it as a bed and breakfast. He bought the requisite items. He then changed his mind, sold the house and transported another "house full" of furniture. Now he wants to move back and, get this, downsize.
I've been ruthless, it's the only way forward.
Put the books you need and will use where you want them, put junk in the bin or recycle when he's not there and then deny all knowledge.
I am now trying a 'zen' approach to the fact my house looks like an explosion in the stockroom of Oxfam in a nicer area (). Actually, I kid myself. Many of the teetering piles of books and magazines look like they may have come from under the bed of a nerdy but sexually unaware teenager. Why, oh why DH do you feel the need to keep manuals on 'cheats and walkthroughs' of computer games for consoles we no longer own? WILL you ever read any of the 50 Dave Barry books you lovingly transported from Australia again? Especially as you assert I may as well chuck out my Gabriel Garcia Marques books as 'I can get them all on the kindle, now'..
And we are awaiting the building inspector (2 hours late, now!) so the builders can get on with finishing the garage so I can begin to rotate our crap around again!
I'm off now to prod some more 'stuff'.
Set him up in a corner scanning some of his old books for computer game cheats etc. Make sure his back is turned to the room and he is suitably engrossed.
Then, you get on with doing all the throwing out that needs to be done while he can't see you.
Definitely do it behind his back and lie. Sometimes that's the best thing for your relationship.
Unless he goes through the bin
my DH has been known to, he'll probably never notice.
Kettle plugs are actually useful for more things than just kettles.
they fit quite a large number of electrical items, including computers and printers.
but YANBU - if he can't be helpful, then tell him to butt out.
<books in the loft - faints>
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