Washing clothes - whose responsibility to check pockets?

[GrassIsntGreener]

I keep telling my fiancé to check his own pockets before putting things in the basket. I'm usually messing about trying to do washing with my daughter running around and a million other things going on - I check mine before they go in so why shouldn't he?

He point blank refuses and says it's my job. I forget he hasn't done it and he gets annoyed when things get washed in pockets.

What's the rule in your homes?

[BloooCowWonders]

Perhaps you could stop doing his washing and then the laundry fairy can take over his.

Just do yours and your daughters.

You know the right answer to your original Q don't you?

[HaveToWearHeels]

His clothes, his responsability. If he doesn't want the items in the pockets to be washed he should remove said item. DH soon learned this lol

[mrswee]

the rules in my house are that it's not just me that does the washing!

[OrangeLily]

In our house I do all the washing and DH does all the ironing. He checks his pockets. I am not his Mother! (Actually she wouldn't have done this for him either come to think of it!)

[WynkenBlynkenandNod]

What Blooo said, except he wouldn't ever become my DH until he had a radical change of attitude. My 9 year old accepts it's his job to check his pockets and turn clothes the right way in so am sure a grown MN can.

[THETrills]

The the washer is picking the clothes up off the floor, it is their responsibility to check pockets.

If the wearer puts the clothes into a washing basket/bin/hamper then it is their responsibility to check pockets before they put the clothes in the to-be-washed place.

[GrassIsntGreener]

Oh I do it because he's a bit frivolous with the detergent, and I quite like it to be honest. About to have baby any day so that could be a bit of nesting!

[Trickle]

We are crap in this house - so we made it everyones responsibility, you're supposed to check them before they get put in the basket and then again before they go in the washer (but in my house either one can put on a wash or hang it out). This way most things are caught, if they arn't we are both to blame, and nobody is playing servant or doing childish things like not put on a full load because it's not 'MY' laundry ;)

[THETrills]

I never understand the people who say "don't do his washing".

Surely it's simpler and more efficient to do all of the household's washing together, no matter who does it?

I assume they are not the same people who separate out whites/darks/brights/pastels, or else they'd have to wait 4 weeks before doing any washing if they were only doing their own clothes.

[CouthyMowWearingOrange]

If the person putting the clothes in the wash basket is over 5yo, it is their responsibility to check their own pockets. I wouldn't do it for my DC's, so I sure as hell wouldn't do it for a grown bloody adult.

And as for 'your job' - WTF?! Unless you are his laundrette, and paid for, IT IS NOT YOUR JOB.

He is a twat. And wouldn't be my H for long, OR be getting any of his washing done, until he could be respectful of the fact that I had been KIND enough to do his for him. And that he was being an arse to insult my generosity.

Also, I would start BILLING him for the hours taken over laundry. After all, a job involves remuneration.

God, I would be RAGING at this!

[TheSkiingGardener]

His attitude stinks. You do the washing, that does not make you his valet or his slave. He should be glad you do it, not demanding you do more.

[WynkenBlynkenandNod]

I sound snippy as have PMT and am annoyed DD has dumped stuff in the washing basket yesterday which was all clear ready for DS to return with muddy clothes from PGL tonight, my apologies.

It makes perfect sense for one person to do it when you have the right amount for a load, I do it in our house usually. But I don't think it's too much to ask for everyone to be responsible for turning clothes right way in, emptying pockets and putting clothes in the washing basket ready for washing.

[Viviennemary]

Of course it's the responsibility of the wearer. But I always try to remember to check all pockets. Sometimes if a tissue gets in the wash it causes havoc. Money and credit cards do seem to come out unscathed. Not passports though I'm afraid.

[GrassIsntGreener]

Bloody hell people. I LIKE doing it! Is that hard to understand? And yes I separate whites, darks, hot washes etc call me weird but it's satisfying. Also love hanging on the line and getting in with that lovely fresh smell.

He will do it if needed, just like he vacuums, changes dd's bed, washes up, sweeps, dusts and looks after the car and both front and back gardens.

I only wanted to know about pocket checking wish i hadn't asked now.

[ShatnersBassoon]

Everyone's, but the onus is on the wearer to be a reasonable person and not expect others to touch their pocket shit. Belt and braces approach, so the chances of the dreaded tissue wash are minimised.

[SecretNutellaFix]

It's the responsibility of the person who has removed said clothing from their body.

[IWipeArses]

He should do it. Not his slave, or his servant.

[procrastinor]

Right normally I'd say both. His before he puts them in laundry and you before it gets put in the machine. But he refuses and says its your job?! Feck off. Yes I'd leave him to it the rude little so and so until he appreciates it. If he just forgot or whatever that's a different issue.

Yes it's more efficient and better to do all together. But not if you've got an ungrateful drip demanding it. Saying that if he cleans the house all by himself or you've divied up tasks and this is the one you've agreed to then that puts a different slant on it.

[Northey]

Well you make you own arrangements that work for your household, don't you, like the fact that you enjoy laundry, so you do it for everyone. If you also like checking pockets, then do that too. If not, don't.

[procrastinor]

grass dammit. Don't be all reasonable. Jeesh I'm in a really snippy mood and want to rant away. You're not allowed to be a normal couple who have shared responsibilities and be having a minor snipe but otherwise happy.

Also you are certainly not allowed to like doing the laundry.

[GrassIsntGreener]

Haha procastinator

[PigletJohn]

surely you were warned not to marry a man who lives with his mum (or has a big head)?

does he know how to iron a shirt?

[tribpot]

Wearer checks pockets. I have to do the laundry in my house because my DH is in a wheelchair, so on a practical level it is too difficult for him to do more than a bit of hanging up (when I don't put it on the line outside). Therefore I want maximum efficiency for me, i.e. take your shit out of the pockets or I'll wash whatever it is. Even when that turns out to be a mobile phone, which I then have to replace.

[meditrina]

Whoever puts the clothes in the laundry basket, ideally the wearer.

But the person doing the laundry should check too, unless someone in your house likes picking shreds of tissue off clothes or dealing with damage to the machine.

But OP, I think your problem here isn't really the laundry. It's that you haven't arranged the domestic tasks in a way with which you are both happy.

[tribpot]

And in terms of who makes up the rules - assuming he cuts the grass, presumably if he wanted everyone to help move the stuff off the lawn before it was cut, that would be reasonable given he's then owning the main task? Same situation here. If you want the stuff taken out of pockets, that's your choice as you're doing the main task.