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Do you feel more comfortable in houses like yours?

(26 Posts)
Teachermumof3 Tue 02-Aug-11 21:34:09

ie if you have a tidy/clean house-do you feel more at home in similar houses, or does it honestly not bother you as long as your own house is ok? Or is your house cluttered/dusty etc, and you prefer visiting such houses as you think the people are more like-minded, or would you feel calm and relaxed in a tidy friend's house!?

I'm a bit OCD about tidying yet my best friend's house has stuff everywhere. She has said she loves my house, and wishes she was more organised and could declutter but just can't do it. I love going to her house as it feels 100% homely, but I do have to fight the urge to tidy up sometimes!!

DuelingFanjo Tue 02-Aug-11 21:37:54

I feel comfortable in houses with books and some clutter. I feel very weird in houses without books and stuff as I am always wondering where they put it.

PelvicFloorOfSteel Tue 02-Aug-11 21:42:25

I worry about making a mess in very, very tidy houses, if everything is totally pristine then I worry about putting things down or DS getting stuff everywhere. I am much more comfy in places where there are already a few scuff marks.

Teachermumof3 Tue 02-Aug-11 21:48:41

Ha ha at the books comment-we have hundreds of books here, too. They are just very contained in the office and upstairs.

I must say that I'm never terribly comfortable in houses with very cream/white carpets when I'm given a glass of red wine or a cup of coffee...

ThatllDoPig Tue 02-Aug-11 21:51:46

Don't know. I find it relaxing in houses which are scruffy and laid back like ours, as I don't have to worry as much, and the people are generally more like minded. But I also find it relaxing in a different way in places that are decluttered and calm. Can somehow breathe better there. But my place is never like that. Just can't find the time to do anything other than bare minimum.

halcyondays Wed 03-Aug-11 15:40:32

I feel most comfortable in a house that is fairly clean and tidy but lived in, not immaculate, but not too cluttered. My house is a tip but I'm working on it. I'm in awe of people who have show homes with nothing out of place, but I could never get my house like that. We're trying to cull our clutter but do like to have some stuff around us, books, ornaments and so on.

roisin Wed 03-Aug-11 15:48:06

Yes, I think you're spot on Teachermumof3.
If a house varies drastically in standards from my house I don't feel entirely comfortable.

If it's hideously messy and smelly (ie a lot worse than mine!) I don't like it.
But if it's immaculate and all shiny and polished I don't feel at ease.

I'm sure some people find my house too cluttered, grubby and untidy - so feel uncomfortable.

HairyJo Wed 03-Aug-11 15:51:11

I never bothered about other people's houses tbh (unless they were truelly bogging) My sisters house is immaculate though and I never really feel relaxed there, especially with the dc. Kinda feel like we're having coffee in the john lewis furniture department!

SuePurblybilt Wed 03-Aug-11 15:53:25

I think people feel too comfortable in mine grin. Certainly I've watched toddlers grind biscuits into my carpets, spit squash on the floor and similar - the parents didn't seem half as mortified as I would be in someone else's house. Maybe they think it's grubby so it doesn't matter?

I don't think it is really. But I do have a dog and an older house so maybe.

ohnoudidnt Sat 06-Aug-11 20:38:04

I like messy houses.

DontCallMeBaby Sat 06-Aug-11 21:03:07

My parents' house is always clean and tidy, and I like being there - it's just quite restful, plus it's pleasant to be able to sit on a sofa without clearing away a pile of paperwork/huddle of teddy bears/layer of cat hair.

But I also like houses that are at least as messy and dirty as mine, as they make me feel better about the state of mine.

kbaby Sat 06-Aug-11 21:41:04

My house is very minimal and uncluttered and I love going to My friends house which is the opposite, I like it when her washing is everywhere and kids toys all over the floor. I always feel comfortable there. I do however know that I would never survive there as my tidiness ocd would be in overdrive.

I try to let my house go to pot when friends come round and I'm not to precious about it being clean when people are here so hopefully they can relax that I'm not going to pounce on them for putting a cup down or the kids dragging toys and food out.
I do have to get it all back to normal and tidy up the minute the front door is closed though smile

ZZZenAgain Sat 06-Aug-11 21:48:33

I always like being in other people's houses. If the homes are very tidy and organised but with a cosy relaxed feel, it is like being a child again at someone's parents' place. If the homes are messy and chaotic, it is like being a student again.

My dd spreads herself all over the house. I think we have a nice home but it is never totally tidy (ha, ha , ha) and if I am honest, it is never pristine either - there'll always be something that needs doing - dust on the radiators, skirting boards, bathroom cupboards etc I am just notthat fussed about it all so long as it feels clean to me and it is nice to come home to.

YouDoTheMath Mon 08-Aug-11 16:15:14

I LOVE utterly pristine, maybe even minimalist houses, They inspire me to tidy mine a lot more.

Mine is generally tidy/clean, but never all at the same time - I tend to do a bit here and there unless we have people coming over.

My best friend lives with her mum, who is an obsessive compulsive hoarder. They live in a beautiful, five-bedroom detached house in a lovely village, but in all the time they've lived there (circa. 15 years) they've never cleaned it and barely ever throw anything away. Every surface is piled high with stuff (mostly rubbish), every wall has things piled/propped against it, and none of the skirting boards are visible - because there is stuff EVERYWHERE. The carpets are ingrained with dirt and despite the house's massive scale, there simply isn't anywhere to put anything. You have to pick your way carefully across the rooms. I would call it dangerously untidy.

(And yes, I have offered to help tidy it, but it would be a mammoth job, would require probably all of my annual leave entitlement and it's a very sensitive subject so we don't talk about it anymore!)

superjobee Mon 08-Aug-11 16:31:44

as long as theres a comfy couch, tea/ wine on the go and good banter im happy grin

valiumredhead Mon 08-Aug-11 16:39:54

I'm not fussed as long as they have the kettle on grin

Hellishday Mon 08-Aug-11 16:43:35

I am very tidy and minimalistic, and could not live in chaos.
My best friend is exactly the opposite, and yet I feel comfy in her house as I know I am only there for a short time.
I hate sleeping in other people's houses, and rarely do it.....
I once sorted out all my friend's spices/herbs while having a cup of tea, to see which one s were out of date. sad

DontCallMeBaby Mon 08-Aug-11 16:54:48

Hellish I have a jar of whole nutmegs which went out of date shortly before I met my husband, and we've been married over 11 years now. grin

Stillchuckingit Mon 08-Aug-11 16:56:19

I like scruffy

Kitchen and bathrooms have to be clean though

Must have piles of books and dc art about the place

twinklypearls Mon 08-Aug-11 16:59:07

I like clean and tidy with signs of life, much like our own home. I find it odd to be in a home that shows nothing of the owners, no books or photos for example. I love glancing down people's book collections. Minimalist homes seem very uncomfortable to me.

Hellishday Mon 08-Aug-11 17:00:22

Dontcallmebaby....I will be round shortly.

DontCallMeBaby Mon 08-Aug-11 17:31:55

Noooo!!! <<clutches ancient nutmeg to bosom>>

It was a Christmas present from my mum in about 1994.

Hellishday Mon 08-Aug-11 17:33:22

I found a tin of prunes in the cupboard recently dated 2006 which had escaped my eagle eye.

AngelDog Mon 08-Aug-11 20:32:34

Yes. I'm a slattern. I like tidyness but other people's immaculate houses make me twitch.

We recently spent a week housesitting for friends - they have a 3 year old but a beautiful house in minimalist style. It wasn't an overly relaxing holiday, as we were constantly worrying we'd make a mess (or that 18 m.o. DS would break something).

No books makes me feel odd too.

menagerie Mon 08-Aug-11 23:31:56

I once babysat for a woman I don't know that well, and took some work with me. Her house was the kind MN is always sneering at. Everything beige; zillions of throws and cushions, twigs and pebbles. And absolutely immaculate despite her and her OH having very demanding full time jobs and two boys. It was the most relaxing place I've ever been. I ended up doing loads of work because it was so tranquil.

My house always makes me feel a bit embarrassed when people come round. Too many books, CDs, animals and massively messy on going projects by the DC who are forever in the middle of building a life size rocket out of old bits of string and scrunched up sellotape. I know I should feel that it's homely but it just looks chaotic to me.

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