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What do you do after the children are in bed?

(29 Posts)
SleeplessInLondon Sat 06-Nov-10 14:34:31

Hi Ladies,

I was just wondering what you do after the children are in bed?

I have been feeling that I've gotten into some really lazy/lethargic habits over the past couple of years and would like to make some changes. I am a SAHM and I have two DC's 3.75yrs and 1.75yrs. My DH has worked either away/very long hours over the past few years. I am in the habit of putting the children to bed at 7-7.30pm, doing a very quick tidy up of kitchen/toys and having some dinner on front of the tv and then at say 8.30pm feeling too tired to actually achieve anything with my evening. So just spend it watching tv/laptop/reading. Now I would like to do that a few evenings a week but would also like to get into the habit of doing something like filing/reading correspondence which tends to pile up (and I always excuse myself by saying that there is not point as you can't make any calls in the evening)/organising photos/lots of little sorting jobs (mending clothes/books/toys etc), even calling friends family to catch up.

Now I should say that I am not exhausted from having too small children. They both sleep very well (one still naps). I have help (cleaner)and get breaks from the children. Just due to some ongoing 'issues' I have justified myself in having lots of time to relax/zone out. I need a kick up the backside as should not be tired but am just lounging around feeling lethargic IYSWIM (don't think I'm depressed - but have been wallowing). I know I'm incredibly lucky compared to the workload most Mum's have and this is why I know I've got to not drift into lazyness.

I think its also some adjustment to do with not working any more. I had a professional job for nearly 10 years and at various times worked reasonably hard or very hard. If I didn't work to full capacity at some periods (I like pressure), I would then work very hard coming up to deadlines/long hours etc.

SleeplessInLondon

DooinMeCleanin Sat 06-Nov-10 14:42:03

I drink wine while mumnetting and/or watching crappy TV.

HTH.

GoodnightNobody Sat 06-Nov-10 14:42:33

I do the same as her

booyhoo Sat 06-Nov-10 14:43:25

mumsnet while watching my soaps and eating chocolate. also have two small dcs, i feel justified in my evening slump.

AnnieBeansMum Sat 06-Nov-10 14:44:36

I do the same. DH and I actually high five once DD is in bed blush because he means we can be lazy slobs. He usually messes around on the computer and I slob out in front of the television.

boogeek Sat 06-Nov-10 14:44:40

Don't forget about Ben and Jerry's, very important to an evening IMO

bamboobutton Sat 06-Nov-10 14:44:52

i flop on the sofa and spend the entire evening knitting, watching tv and cramming m&ms in my gob.

WingDad Sat 06-Nov-10 14:45:33

Relax on the sofa/eat chocolate/do some admin work/sleep.

Really depends on how knackered I am and what needs to be done.

mollymax Sat 06-Nov-10 14:47:14

Same as all above.
I too am a sahm, the evenings are my time.
I do sit and knit or sew , if I have the energy

thesecondcoming Sat 06-Nov-10 15:42:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleeplessInLondon Mon 08-Nov-10 13:31:42

Thanks for all the replies ladies/gents. It has only encouraged me to sit on my backside and chill out in the evenings though!!!!

Not exactly the responses I thought I'd get. Oh well I've decided that I'm going to loose the guilt anyway!!!

ShatnersBassoon Mon 08-Nov-10 13:34:29

I very rarely do anything worthwhile.

HollyBollyBooBoo Mon 08-Nov-10 14:02:49

Quickly clean house, cook dinner, eat dinner whilst talking to DH, drink wine, clean up the dinner things, go on internet whilst drinking wine, watch crap tv (or football depending on who got to tv remote first), beg DH to do last feed, go and have a nice warm bath, get into bed, sleeeeeeeeep!

Spacehoppa Mon 08-Nov-10 14:22:20

sleep (sobs quietly)

bigchris Mon 08-Nov-10 14:25:34

By the time kids are in bed and we've had dinner it's about eight pm and then it's time to wash up , make lunches etc
get about two hours tv watching, mumsnetting done then bed at ten

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 08-Nov-10 14:26:00

We tidy up, clean the kitchen, fold the washing etc which takes about 30-40 mins at the very most, and then flop.

FromGirders Mon 08-Nov-10 14:40:14

I try not to let tidings and housework spill over into my evenings. We tidy up together before tea, then I eat with the kids, and quickly do the dishes and tidy the kitchen while they have tv time or are in the bath. (mine are older and don't need constant bath supervision). Then once I've read their story, I'm done for the day. If dish-washing still needs done by that time, it takes three times as long as normal.
I find if I want to do something in the evening, I have to decide on it earlier in the day, so i'm in the right mindset and don't "turn off".
In the evenings I either go out to a dance class, watch tv while doing craft stuff, or read in blissful silence

voituredepompier Mon 08-Nov-10 14:47:48

Write a list of things that need doing and try and tick one off at night and then you can feel all smug and get stuck into the wine to celebrate.

Hulababy Mon 08-Nov-10 14:55:59

Watch TV
Drink wine or tea
MN
Online shopping at moment for Christmas presents
Chat with DH

No housework or chores.

Orissiah Mon 08-Nov-10 14:56:53

My DD is in bed around 7 / 7.15pm, my DH rarely home before 9pm. I used to be in the TV/Internet trap all evening which was pathetic because, like you, I wasn't especially tired. So now I watch a little TV (tend to be pre-recorded shows), read novels, cook nice dinners, knit, listen to music, read a quality paper to keep my brain going, write fiction, do yoga or some home type exercise, chat to friends/family on phone... No cleaning - this is left to weekends or first thing in morning. I'm quite motivated and disciplined though. If I want to do something (eg not watch so much TV) then I simply say, "Okay, let's not do this let's do that!"

mousymouse Mon 08-Nov-10 18:06:38

I think it is important that children see that the house is not selfcleaning, so cleaning is done with them around.

feet up and tv, book, snuggle it

GailFawkes Mon 08-Nov-10 18:10:00

Feet up, tv on, mumsnet on the laptop, chocolate within reach.......and relax smile

onadietcokebreak Mon 08-Nov-10 18:26:37

Study while house is a hovel

Othersideofthechannel Mon 08-Nov-10 18:49:26

I work outside the home, part time.

I try to do one useful thing after 9pm then flop in bed with book or in front of a screen.

If I am feeling really energetic I will clear out a cupboard or bake. Usually I am too tired and will find something really quick and easy to clear my conscience. It is really hard for me to do stuff after 9pm. I'm a morning person and can usually get loads done between 6.30 and 7.00 if the children choose not to wake up at 6am!

Nuttybear Mon 08-Nov-10 19:22:28

Like Otherside I work outside the home part-time. So IF So sometimes I slob about if I have something ready from the day before or I cook something quickish after DS is in bed. DH is still working at home until 9pm. Then have dinner with DH. Then if housework needs to be done I turn on BBC radio 7 and do kitchen chores (e.g clean the tops, hob and wash the floor. OR I fold up dry clothes and put away. I will only do things that does not require thought otherwise I can't listen to the radio.

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