struggling with home ed

[pinkkoala]

hi

my dd is 5yrs old we are home schooling til she is given a place at our preferred school, we are on the waiting list.

the problem i am having is my dd just doesn't seem to want to learn, i try and do workbooks every day, use oxford reading tree books to try to teach her to read(she just doesn't want to sit and learn). I don't want her to fall behind as she will be in a mainstream class eventually.

how can i get her motivated, so she doesn't fall behind.

she is 5yrs old and can't read and still has a problem trying to write small and not fill the page with one word.

i am worried to lea will force her into a school that i don't want.

any suggestions and any ideas on what books you all use would be good.

[Marjoriew]

She's only 5 years old, bless her.
I started home educating grandson when he was 5. He's nearly 11 now and doing fine.
You should let her be a kid and play a bit more.
Try and relax a bit more and don't panic. You will relay your worries to your littlie and put her off learning when she does go to school.

[pinkkoala]

i am getting so much pressure from my parents and my in laws to get her into school as this is the norm, i don't tend to stick to rules and regs i am quite flexible and enjoy the freedom home ed gives.

they keep saying she will fall behind, don't you want her to have a good start. i think their pressure has made me think that she may get behind. i do feel like saying to them, mind your own business as she is my child and not theirs.

i don't want her to get behind but am not sure what she should be able to do right now, education wise, any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Marjoriew]

It's not uncommon for family/parents/friends to question home ed in the family.
I have 7 adult children and thirteen grandchildren including custody of the grandson I HE.
My kids have opinions all right, but that's all they are. Anything bordering on interfering, they are told to bog off and mind their own knitting.

The 'norm' as they say, becomes the norm when you've been doing it for a while and it becomes part of your and your littlie's life.

You have to do what you think is best for your child.
What sort of things does she enjoy doing? Baking - kids love making cakes. Combine it with counting, making biscuits with lettering, playdough numbers.
Loads of free stuff on the internet.
CBeebies have loads of resources and activities.
Don't worry, you'll have great fun.

[throckenholt]

I would do lots of counting games (if she wants to), lots of reading to her and talking about the sounds in the words. And maybe a bit of writing.

I don't think she will be far behind what her peers will be doing.

If she doesn't like the work books don't do them - just try and keep it low key and fun, and let her play a lot (they play a lot at that age at school).

[ommmward]

1. bin the workbooks. If she doesn't like them, don't use them. We sometimes use workbooks as colouring books but that's about it.

1. bin the ORT books. They are seriously bloody boring, those reading scheme books. Just read to her, books she wants to hear. When she feels like joining in, she'll join in. There is no hurry.

1. Sit and learn??? Why? There is a whole world out there to run around in, to have conversations in and about. No need for sitting still!!!

1. Step back. Take three weeks during which you entirely follow her lead. If it's endless imaginative games with soft toys, then that's what it is. If it's hours on the CBeebies site, it's hours on the CBeebies site. If it's going to the park every day, it's going to the park. Watch her. Watch yourself. At the end of each day, just take half an hour to note down the really good bits, the bits you suddenly thought "wow, she's so engaged" or "I never knew she could do that" , the bits where you answered her questions. Give her opportunities for real practical learning - lots of baking, lots of craft and painting, lots of her counting the money out at the check out, lots of internet time. Whatever she's up for.

1. "she is 5yrs old and can't read". Normal normal normal. find places where the written word is useful. Our first read word was probably "bus stop", closely followed by "ice cream"... Just point them out, no big deal. It will come. If you are using teh written word a lot, then when she's ready she'll start using it too. Five is very young.

1. "still has a problem trying to write small and not fill the page with one word." I had an anxiety about this at one point and my primary teacher sister said "they don't care at all in year 1 or reception about writing small/neat/on lines. It's blank sheets of paper and if it's a word a page that's fine! Relax! If they're writing anything that's fantastic!"

1. "i am worried to lea will force her into a school that i don't want." Then read "How children learn at home" by Alan Thomas and Harriet Pattison and develop as much confidence in your child's ability to learn as you possibly can. It is highly unlikely to look anything like school learning, but will probably be 3,000 times more efficient. Keep a record. "made cakes" - did she do measuring? Did she follow the recipe? Did you talk about anything as you made the cake? Did she decorate it? So many learning areas covered there. It doesn't have to look like school to be learning.

[MathsMadMummy]

lol @ 'mind your own knitting'

pinkkoala, I'm not HEing (yet) but if I've learnt anything from the lovely people on this board, it's to relax! getting wound up about it won't help.

it's amazing how much learning goes on without trying to teach as such - I've noticed that as my toddler's grown up. I tried 'teaching' the colours, shapes, letters... it was only when she started playing with particular toys (plastic shapes, a toy computer etc) that it sank in.

I can empathise, though, I'm dreading reactions from family/friends.

also, my best mate is a reception teacher, they're mostly playing anyway!

[MrsWobbleTheWaitress]

What Ommmward said - as usual she has been very wise and sensible!

Also, show your relatives the recent research (have a look on this board for a thread about it) that says that children who learn to read 'late' compared to when the gov want them to learn, are at no disadvantage whatsoever at age 11.

In fact I would argue that they are at an advantage because they probably won't have had their love of books knocked out of them by boring reading scheme books and too much pressure before they're ready.

[lilyfire]

I sat in on a friend's LEA inspection and the inspector (who used to be a headteacher) wasn't interested in seeing anything in writing from her nearly 6 yo (not that there was anything - as he hadn't started writing yet). He actually told her that he'd expect him to be learning through experience at that age. He looked at a few drawings he'd done, but mainly seemed pleased to hear he was out and about a bit and doing cooking, craft, gardening and whatever he was interested in.

[piscesmoon]

I agree with all of ommmward's post (it must be a first for me!) Bin the deadly workbooks. Join the library. Make it fun-write huge letters in sand or shaving foam etc. She won't get behind-they have gone back to learning through play at school. Talk to her all the time.

[sorky]

We followed an autonomous, play-based approach until the eldest was 7yo.
We read every afternoon and bedtime at least, made cakes, played 'educational' games (love all orchard toys games), hit the beach when it was sunny and did loads of gardening.

We did NO writing because she hated it, but we did tons of Art!

Once she reached 7 we started more formal learning and she was ready to run by then.

Experiment! See what she responds to...even if it means she spends 8 hours out of the day dressed as a cat , that'll be what she needs to do ;D