Am I still OK to refuse a home visit?

[musicposy]

I know I am, but I'm finding it difficult in the current climate and am looking for any experience/ support/ advice.

DD2 has had 2 yearly visits now, and DD1 2 also (from a different person as one comes under secondary and one under primary) DD1's visit was only about 3 weeks ago. He also saw DD2 and chatted a bit to her, and we touched a bit on DD2's education as she will be secondary and under his banner next year.

Anyhow, primary bloke made a visit for DD2 a few weeks back. Like I said, he's seen her twice before so no reason to suppose anything wrong on his part. I cancelled the visit. This was because I was having hospital treatment. My OH phoned and said I was having lots of hosp treatment and I wasn't well enough and we would phone when I was.

Only a day or so later he phoned us, saying he MUST make another appointment as she is overdue and he must see her. I agreed to this coming Tuesday, mainly because I thought I would be OK by now and have no particular gripe about seeing him - DD2 quite enoys showing off to him!

However, I'm still not well. If you read any of my posts elsewhere you'll see I'm in the very early stages of what's sadly turning out to be a complicated pregnancy, with threatened miscarriage - and I just don't feel up to it. Also I've been told to rest completely by the hospital.

I'm worried about refusing because I'm worried that cancelling again will get them sending social services in or something. I'm also worried that being confined to bed all this time (which I am right now) will make them think I'm not fit to home educate. That's rubbish - my girls are quite capable of doing stuff themselves without me at all - but I don't think we have the kind of LA who will see it that way.

I've always got on well with them, but I've always been an easy case, so to speak, and I've heard terrible horror stories about people in our area who have refused visits.

I'm wondering about saying that I will send them a written submission of what DD2 has done and will see them at a later date, but I will phone them, not vice versa.

The whole thing is ridiculous box ticking especially when the secondary advisor saw them both only a few weeks back!

Just wanted to ask and to get support! This badman stuff has made the LA throw their wieght around much more than they used to.

[ilove]

i thought they had no right to visit at all if you are HE?

[musicposy]

Well, I don't think they have as such, though sadly this might change. It's more that they have an expectation, and if you don't fulfill that expectation, they start raising alarm bells.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Hi musicposy
I am sorry to read that you are suffering, possible miscarriage sounds really scarey - of course you need complete bedrest

I see you dilemma re the lea visit - it seems very odd that you have to suffer a primary visit and a secondary visit (when my lea cant apparently be bothered to write to me let alone visit, not that I mind of ocurse, I just think they are seriously slack)

I would send a written letter and say you will contact them when you see fit - surely even as a HEing parent you are allowed to be ill??

I always read your posts and think what a fantastic job you are doing - take heart that I for one think you an inspiration

[musicposy]

The whole thing is a ridiculous waste of government time and money - the secondary bloke could have quite easily ticked off DD2 when he came a few weeks back. She's Year 6, 10 and a half, so will come under his banner anyway in September. It means we have 2 visits a year as a family which, given that they've always been really happy with us, is a complete waste of their resources. It doesn't make sense that the girls would be thriving for the last 3 years and then suddenly I would stop educating them or caring about them, or that I would be educating DD1 really well only 3 weeks ago and not bothering at all about DD2!

OK, rant over.

Thanks for your comments, Laura, it's nice to hear. I will phone tomorrow and be forceful.

[ommmward]

I think you go cold turkey on them.

Dear Mr X,

On [date] and [date] and [date] your colleague visited our family to assess the educational provision for Dd1. The judgement was "bloody fantastic job mrs posy"

On [date] and [date] you visited our family to assess the educational provision for Dd2. The judgement was "you are a superhero, mrs Posy".

As you have now fully assessed our educational provision, over a period of 2 years for Dd2 and x years for Dd1, please explain to us why you consider it necessary to assess our educational provision yet again, within the remit of the current education law. It appears to us that your request for a further visit is pointless from our point of view, interrupting our provision of education to our children and invading our family life, but also pointless from your point of view since, in law, you have no duty to monitor in an ongoing fashion once you have satisfied yourselves that an education is being provided. (please see the 2007 EHE Guidelines [give linky]).

For now, and until further notice, we prefer to keep all contact with you in writing.

Yours sincerely,

Mrs Posy with guns a blazin'

[musicposy]

Haha, I really like it! I'm having a depressing day and you've cheered me up no end. I will phone and cancel tomorrow and follow it up with this letter. I'll keep you posted!

[ommmward]

[LauraIngallsWilder]

That letter is ace omm - I especially like the yours sincerely mrs posy with guns a blazing. - wouldnt it be funny to be a fly on the wall watching an LEA person reading that

[ommmward]

I might be inclined to CC the letter to my MP and also my local councillor. Ask them if this extra-their-responsibility attempt at ongoing monitoring represents an appropriate use of taxpayers' money.

[musicposy]

I phoned them and the woman was really nice about it which rather took the wind out of my sails! She said, yes of course, a written submission would be fine, and no, they have no worries at all about us, yes, she will pass the message on that I don't want a visit, all absolutely fine etc etc

Which makes me wonder why they are wasting money making appointments to see us in the first place.....

[SDeuchars]

The problem is that when people accept visits (not pointing at you specifically, Posy), both EHEers and LA officials get used to them and think that they are what is expected (on both sides). EHEers also get concerned about what will happen if they refuse a visit. It is amazing how often there is no fight at all when you simply offer a (short!) report.

[musicposy]

Hi!
So maybe we should all be refusing at the moment, just as a matter of principle!

[SDeuchars]

You may say so, I can not possibly comment.



[But it is what I usually advise.]

[milliemoopoo]

ommm! that letter is brilliant!! i have just sprayed tea on my netbook (thanks for that!!). can i have permission to copy it and band it about! hehehehe.

sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time musicposy. the last thing you need is worry and stress about something you are doing perfectly well. thank goodness the lady was nice to you.

i'll refuse visits too, when my turn comes.sticking to good old letter writing. as i said on a different post, are the authorities going to start coming out and checking on everyone, mornings eves and weekends regardless? ooh don't forget those long summer holidays schooled children are at home for 6 long weeks with their families...what then?

[musicposy]

Well, I reckon at this rate, they eventually will. I have a few apathetic friends who think that because they don't home ed, none of it affects them. I always say, don't think you'll be immune if you don't support us in fighting against this. Because I firmly believe it will be preschoolers next (there's a 0-3 curriculum already, you'll be required to send them somewhere or be checked) and then the summer holidays will be next in line. Not sending them to a holiday club for the 6 weeks? Expect to be checked up on.

All these things sound far fetched, but what is happening is a gradual erosion of our rights to bring up our own children, bit by bit, until children are the property of the state. It's happened in other countries.

I'm feeling rather pleased with myself that I refused the home visit. And I'm feeling much better, thanks, though very tired, so no plans to agree to anyone seeing us for a long time yet!

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Hey Musicposy
I am glad you are feeling better and that you have summoned the courage to tell the peeps to go away!

I am interested in the concept of the government slowly erroding our rights as parents.

I was trying to explain this concept to an HE friend of mine to whom it was an entirely new idea, although he does know a lot about the Badman report and writes lots of campainging letters.
He knows nothing about how education has changed since he left school in 1975 and seems to think I know a lot about the current ways and means of schools! (I dont know all there is to know but certainly more than him!)

So anyway Music (or anyone else!) would you mind elaborating on which countries/governments have basically made children property of the state..........

This guy wants to pick my brain about such things and I want to sound knowledgeable!