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Decision time

(6 Posts)
sleepingwiththeenemy Fri 16-Oct-09 22:16:01

Hi. I am seriously considering HE my 5 year old DD. I did it for a year with my older 2, but they both wanted to try school again when we moved, and now they are settled and very happy. However, my exH has just walked free from court after his trial was stopped on a technicality - he was charged with numerous sexual offences relating to me and his first wife, and was also arrested but not charged (due to DD2 age) with sexual abuse of her.
I spoke to the school today and was told that they cold not and would not stop exH taking DD2 from school if he managed to track us down, despite his abuse of her and despite his threats to take her away and I'd never see her again.
She likes school, but if she's not safe there I would rather HE her where I know she is safe. Am I doing this for the right reasons? I know he did what she says he did, I know he sexually abused her, I have never doubted her for a second, so I think I have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
Am I right?

ZZZenAgain Fri 16-Oct-09 22:24:27

good grief swte. What a worry. Well if he has already sexually abused your little girl and has threatened to try and take her away and the school has told you they would not prevent him, really I thik you should HE if you can. How horrible for you all.

Is there something that could be presented to the school that might alter the situation?

sleepingwiththeenemy Fri 16-Oct-09 22:56:17

No. I can't get an injunction as that would reveal our exact whereabouts to him. But without one he is legally allowed to just take her.

RubysReturn Fri 16-Oct-09 23:03:05

Who did you speak to at the school? I know we have some children who are not allowed to be released apart from some nominated people - the details are private, but I am assuming this type of history.

sleepingwiththeenemy Fri 16-Oct-09 23:36:54

It was the headmaster, who is well aware of the whole situation. I understand the legality of it, but what about the morality? How could anyone hand over a child to someone who they know has already abused her?

lilyfire Sat 17-Oct-09 00:57:05

Have you been to see a family lawyer to talk about this? I am one and this does sound like the kind of case where you might be able to apply for a prohibited steps order preventing her father from removing her from your care or from the school (without having to name it). You'd then have a court order to give to the school. Also would they really allow her to go with a man they presumably don't know who just turns up saying he's her father without first taking steps to confirm this? You should clarify this with them.
Not trying to put you off home edding - but if you would rather she was at school if she could be safe there may be ways to achieve this.

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