Arrrhhh, help me not to murder my sister.(5 Posts)
I've just spent an hour being lectured by my sister about how wrong HE is and not fair on the children and blah blah blah.
She was so incredibly rude and saying I am doing harm to my DC's by HE, that they cannot get the education they need from me and then went to the old standby of, "But what about socialisation?"
No matter what I said she was not willing to admit that HE can work and be a positive thing.
She says she thinks I'm a very intelligent person (gee, thanks, sis!) but yet she clearly doesn't think I'm intelligent enough to know what and how to teach my child or intelligent enough to know if HE isn't working out for my DC's.
I don't even know why I tried to get her to see my point of view.
When I pointed out that she was ignorant of HE she took it as a great insult and wailed on at me about how rude I was being. When I asked what exactly she knew of HE and different ways of doing it and how many books/reports she'd read about it and how many people she knew that had been HE'd/were being HE'd she had to admit that NONE was the answer to all. Err, think I've made my point that you are ignorant on HE, sis.
I mentioned autonomous education and she nearly blew her top. The whole idea of it is so beyond her she could barely speak to tell me how truly awful an idea it was.
She's is not interested in that I think HE is right for my children so that's why I'm doing it and it's not that I think schools are the work of Satan. She seems to take my decision to HE as an insult to her decision to send her DS to school. No matter what I said would get her to stop being so defensive and attacking MY decision. I don't attack hers.
Sorry for huge ranty post but she has made me with frustration. I don't expect all my family and friends to agree with me but I DO expect my own family to support me when they can see that I've made a well thought out choice for my own family. I haven't made this choice on a whim. They don't have to go about singing the praises of HE just because I do it - but not ripping me apart and attacking my views every chance they get would be a nice start.
My sister - who doesn't have kids - said the same thing. In the end I told her to butt out. She still gives unwanted child rearing advice though. Kids should be forced into school, smacked, boarding school at 6 etc etc
Inlaws hated HE when they realised I wasn't going to be hothousing and still, after 8 years and all 3 kids winning scholarships at 13, say HE kids are think, learn nothing 9and MIL has met loads of them. Acts all nice to their face and backbites afterwards)
Tune them out and do what is best for 8your* children!
Thank her for airing her concerns about your children, but tell her it is none of her business at all, and you would like to respect the fact that you make well-researched decisions regarding your children and their welfare because you love them and are their mother!
Tell her you can see she will never agree with you, sadly, but ask her never to dare be so rude again or she will risk creating a huge rift between you.
Flamingo, I did say that first paragraph to her almost word for word! Didn't stop her though. [rolley eyes]
Riven, I think I'll just have to learn to tune them out in the way I tune out the whinging of my DC's.
It just makes me sad that they think I would do something that I though would be bad for my children.
I think it all goes to show that DCs within the same family are very different and one size never fits all. The individual should be listened to, whatever the age.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.