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thinking of home-ed for ds with autism. where on earth do I start?

(7 Posts)
saintmaybe Thu 09-Jul-09 11:38:57

I've not posted on this topic before, and I'm really hoping that the lovely home-edding mnetters can give me some pointers (and some courage, because I'm bricking myself, tbh).

Ds2 is 10, at special school 4 days a week. Apart from a fewweeks fulltime, this is the most he's ever done.

the school is GOOD, as schools go. I've got a good relationship with them, and they've been really accomodating; he's got a 1-1 and is allowed to be out of the class A LOT due to his inability to cope with noise, other kids, lots of stuff. He can be quite aggressive when he's feeling trapped and scared.

BUT; it's still not working. He always says he hates it and is unhappy; often refuses to go in and a couple of weeks ago when he said'mummy, school is hurtful for my heart, isn't it?' I finally admitted what I've known for a long time; school just isn't wirking for him. This is a very hard decision for me; he may well be at home permenently after this, and these few years feel like a precious respite.

I know this is right for him, though, and I did a home programme with him before, and I can do it.

What I want to know, though, is if there are any support/ resources that I can access for him from the lea if I withdraw him. I don't want to 'give away' any chance of them providing anything at all by telling them that I'm going to HE him no matter what. For example, if he's not in school, does his statement disappear? And I've heard of some home-tutoring being available for school refusers, how would that work?

I just want to take the best route throught his to access any support I can; tbh this is only going to be sustainable for me with support, and though I can/ will pay people to be here for him, obviously anything that I might not ahve to pay for will be enormously helpful. We will of course be saving the lea a blardy FORTUNE, as he has a 1-1 in a special school, plus a drver and escort just for him taking him 20+ miles each day.

I'm posting and running for a few hours, but any, any ldeas at all will be very gratefully received.

Thanks guys.

julienoshoes Thu 09-Jul-09 14:31:59

The first place I would think you should start is to have a look at Home Education Special Needs website and their associated support list
There you will find the real experts in home educating children with SEN-the parents themselves.

The support list can seem a little daunting at first, with lots of people talking about something that doesn't seem to relate to you-but they will just be answering previous discussions. Jump right in and ask all the questions you want-I promise people will answer!

I'd also suggest having a look at the book Home Educating our Autistic Spectrum Children: Paths are made by walking
where families who are home educating their children who have SEN, have written a chapter each on how it works for them.It also has chapters on the legalities.

Do you know any home educators locally?
I'll bump the threads about finding home edders locally as well as other potentially useful threads.

julienoshoes Thu 09-Jul-09 14:34:16

oh and yes the statement will probably continue, although you it applies to the provsion the LA must make if the child is in school.

And no I don't think you have any chance of them providing anything useful.

And I think the HE you could provide would beat any home tutoring sessions, hands down!

stressa Thu 09-Jul-09 14:36:34

We HE our 3 incl 2 ASD boys (9 and 10). I haven't heard of any home-edders getting LA support though may be worth exploring (depends on your area). Your GP should be able to arrange SALT, OT and physio though this is rationed for everyone. We did have OT visits and physio assessments at home and were offered a SALT assessment.

We did find that once they were out of school their needs significantly reduced.

"Education Otherwise" website gives a lot of info and links to the HE-SPECIAL list - an invaluable resource - where you can post queries to other parents. Also try and find your local HE group - you may be surprised how many ASD kids are home-edded. Last but not least there is an excellent book called (I think) "Home educating our autistic children, paths are made by walking".

Good luck (and don't be put off by the "Badman Review" - not law yet and we are fighting it!)

saintmaybe Thu 09-Jul-09 16:14:49

Thanks so much, julienoshoes and stressa, that's really useful stuff, I'll check it out now; just came in and logged on straightaway!

Tbh I wasn't massively hopeful about the lea providing anything very useful, I'm just feeling fearful of shutting any doors, iyswim. But you're right, I can do a better job, I think. Thanks for reminding me.

We do know a few HEdders, and at some point it would be amazing to share some time/ resources with them. I can't really expect much at first though; he's pretty inflexible. Some people will be ok with it, others won't, which is fair enough.

I am very excited about it as well as nervous, though I am hoping that his needs will reduce too, once he's out of school. Tbh, school is the biggest stress and block to his relaxing that he has atm.

i'm off to check out those sites.

milou2 Fri 10-Jul-09 00:19:13

If you leave on good terms with the school then you may well be able to phone them up for any specific questions, on an informal basis.

They will probably wonder how your son is getting on too.

From what you say the stress may well fall away and the relaxing may start.

I did find that there was quite a bit of stress which needed to be expressed once my son was out of school, so don't lose heart if there is some processing of what has gone on before. This may be from you too, not just from your son. I got quite jittery and post traumatic (guessing on this, but it makes sense to me).

We are still at the stage where my son likes to be at home, so I can invite other home educating families over to us, but he doesn't want to take part in the big range of activities. But no-one minds, this is quite normal for some children.

In our area there is a pub night every 2 weeks for HE parents. That is good for families where the children don't go to formal meetups. So I get some socialising with parents who totally get it.

saintmaybe Fri 10-Jul-09 07:56:23

I am hoping to keep in touch with school.
Thanks, it's very heartening to know there are other people out there.

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