Advanced search

Would love to home ed but not sure I'm strong enough to buck the system.. help

(13 Posts)
eviz Fri 12-Jun-09 20:48:02


My DD1 is 3 on 1st August so will be expected to start school September 2010.

I am totally conservative, non-political, non-confrontational conformist kind of girl but the thought of sending DD to school next year saddens me to the core.

She is very quiet in company but thrives when it's just me. She's curious about everything and I'm thoroughly enjoying helping bring her natural curiosity and educating her about the world around her.

DP is very different to me, likes to test her - alphabet, sums (!!!) is much more prescriptive. Consequently she clams up with him which really upsets me.

I hate the thought that I have to give up my little girl to sit in a class with 30 other children when I could be enjoying that time with her. But I know my parents in law (very controlling) would think I'm insane if I suggested it. We live in the catchment area of an excellent primary school in a great area - what have I got to complain about etc etc.

I just don't want to send her!

Anyway, going to spend lots of time reading the links suggested in this forum.

Sorry, this has turned in to a bit of a rant.. I just feel quite down about it at the moment, and feel like if I do choose home ed it's going to turn into a big fight - against my family and against the state.

eviz Fri 12-Jun-09 20:49:05

Oh I also have DD2 who is almost 1, so practically I can't envisage how it would actually work..

Mung Fri 12-Jun-09 20:54:21

I know how you feel, but if you feel that the choice is right for your DD then go for it...its great!

Have you met any local Home Educators? That really helped me when I was feeling so alone at the start. There are loads of people out there who are not opting in to the system and just chatting to them makes it all feel less daunting.

I may have understood wrongly and if I have I apologise, but all I will say is that you do seem to suggest that you don't want to let go of your DD and that you could be enjoying her rather than a teacher. I do think that the choice needs to be about her and not you. Many HE children I know are fiercly independent and Home Educating will not necessarily keep your DD from wanting to do things without you.

If you do decide to look into it further and then make the final decision, good luck and I hope you all enjoy the lifestyle change.

Mung Fri 12-Jun-09 20:55:58

I have just seen your 2nd post, as the last one took me ages. My DCs were the age of yours when I decided to HEd. Lots of Home educators have young children and it all works just fine.

Yurtgirl Fri 12-Jun-09 21:00:24

Get your dh to read How children learn by John Holt - he may then stop the alpabet and sum quizzes

I would say if you are keen home ed her until she is 5/6 and see how you feel about it then

TBH for me a choice to home ed seems easier than keeping mine in school - as one or possibly both of mine have special needs the prospect of campaigning to get them the support they need feels harder work than HEing them!

You still have plenty of time to decide so I would just keep on enjoying your kids for now

eviz Fri 12-Jun-09 21:07:14

Thanks Mung, I am feeling a bit melancholy hence the tone of my post. I'm genuinely not a clingy mum - I do enjoy working part-time, am passionate about encouraging her to be independent and exploring the world around her.

I feel like I've a new found role as educator (now she is speaking well) and I'm flourishing, as is she, and to hand that over to a 3rd party really saddens me.

But the main reason is that I'm becoming increasingly concerned that a school situation would not suit her personality.

I would love to meet other HEs in my area, is there any way to do this without signing up to the EO site?

eviz Fri 12-Jun-09 21:08:54

Thanks too Yurtgirl - will look that up on Amazon now. 6 seems a much more civilised age to start school imho - I like your suggestion.

Mung Fri 12-Jun-09 21:19:02

I am not sure how you can find out about meet ups without contacting EO. If you email them they may be able to give you the local contact or a venue for an organised monthly meeting maybe.

Kayteee Fri 12-Jun-09 21:56:49

Hi Eviz,

Where are you? I may be able to point you to someone/groups local to you.

Just curious though, any reason why you didn't want to sign up to EO? Not being rude here, just interested smile

Kayteee Fri 12-Jun-09 21:58:47

this is a good group to meet other home educators

Kayteee Fri 12-Jun-09 22:03:05

also this Early Years group are a friendly bunch

musicalmum43 Mon 29-Jun-09 17:17:27

I know how you feel!! My mum and my brother are head teachers, we sent our children to school without thinking through any alternatives, and while DS is having a good time, DD crashed out, so she is now HE. Family deeply disapprove, but it's been worth it. And when you shut the front door who really gives a stuff what the outside world thinks if it is working indoors!

lilyfire Mon 29-Jun-09 23:43:14

Definitely try to get to a local group. I don't think I would have tried HE without the confidence meeting people who were actually doing it gave me. You could try searching yahoo or google groups and putting in HE and your area.
We're fairly conventional in lots of ways and we have a very good primary school nearby that my 5 yo 'should' have gone to, but we've had a really good first year of HE. I've managed to go back to work, albeit very, very part time and we have a nearly 3 yo and a 1 yo, as well as a 5yo. There are HE'ding families with 6 plus children, including little ones, who manage. Do lots of reading, look at HE blogs, meet HE'ers, but I would say listen to what your intuition is telling you, I think my worst pareting decisions have been when I've ignored it and done what people think I 'should' be doing. Also remember UK is quite odd in sending 4 year olds to full time school, many countries don't start school until 7.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now