Home edding as a single parent any advice please?

[emmawil37]

Hi,

I declined my DD school place to home ed her instead but my husband has now left me and I'm worried how I'm going to home ed as a single parent. How would I do it if I have to work, what happens with benefits I'm really worried about how it will work out.

So any advice from anybody, any other single mums home edding would be really gratefully recieved.

Thank you,

Emma

[AMumInScotland]

Hi, I don't have experience of this myself, but there are lone parents managing to home educate, so there are ways of making it work.

Firstly, you may be able to claim Income Support as a lone parent. You can do this until your youngest child is 7, and don't have to be looking for work. The DirectGov website has more information about eligibility for this. If you're on a low income you're likely to also be eligible for other help - the website also has an online thing you can put your details into and it will tell you what else you may be eligible for.

Once your youngest is 7 though, you would not be eligible for it and would need to look for work.

How you fit HE and work together depends really on what is practical for you - home ed doesn't have to happen 9 till 3 Monday to Friday, and doesn't have to take as many hours as children spend in schools. But obviously you'd need someone to have responsibility for her while you work - some people manage to find a childminder who is positive about HE, others may have family who can help out. You'd then need to agree with her carers how you were all going to make sure she was getting a suitable education - that could be mostly you in the evenings and weekends, or doing things with her carers while you work or some combination. It also depends whether you were hoping to take an autonomous approach, in which case you probably need her carers to have some understanding of that concept. Or if you're going to go for more formal work, with worksheets etc, in which case it just needs the carers to supervise that during her time with them.

HTH!

[emmawil37]

Thank you I will get on to that my youngest is 3 so at least that's the next 4 years sorted out!

[Fillyjonk]

You will be able to be Jobseekers Allowance though, you just need to show that you are seeking work. Rules a bit complex as you can technically turn down jobs due to childcare arrangements-don't know what the latest is on this for HErs.

I would put money down that there will be a yahoo group for single parents, and I know of several who do a fabulous job.

Depending where you are, there might be other options like flexischooling, steiner school/kindergarten/etc

[emmawil37]

Thanks Fillyjonk,

One of the reasons why I want to home ed my dd is because she had a really bad time at preschool and sufferes really badly with separation anxiety and she isn't ready to be away from me, she is getting more confident but I would hate to put her in any childcare yet. It never crossed my mind that I would be doing this alone.

Thanks for the advice I have found EO has a single parent yahoo group and have joined that.

[Kayteee]

Hi Emma,

Sorry to hear your coping on your own there

Are there any H.E groups near you? What area are you in? You may be able to make some good friends that way, over the next few years. It's invaluable having support from fellow H.Eers. I have several friends who manage to HE as single parents, so I know it can be done...where there's a will there's a way!

Let us know how it's going. You'll probably get some more good advice from here soon.

[ommmward]

All the best to you.

Are you on beanpip's HE friends network? That might be another place to find support (I think I maybe spotted you there and, if so, your children are beautiful!)

All I'd say is that 4 years is a long time, yk? By then you may be in another relationship, or haver found a way to earn enough money working from home, or have some sort of child swop organised with famiy and friends so you can still HE if that's what's right for the children - I would try not t worry tpp far ahead

[emmawil37]

Hi all,

Thank you for the kind advice and support. I live in a village just outside Ashford in Kent, there's are groups that met further a feild which as my car is in my husbands name I will be losing that soon so I will find it diffcuilt to travel to groups.

Yes I'm on Beanpips network haven't been on the computer much. My children are wonderful and my marriage has ended horrifly but I can't regret it because I have my children and they are my world that's why I can't put Yasmin in school she wouldn't be able to cope with it.

[ommmward]

(((((emma)))))

I'm just off to ask you to be my "friend" on beanpip's network

[Kayteee]

Emma,
You can email me on [email protected]

I can send you a link to a Kent group which you can get to know people in/around your area on if you like.

[emmawil37]

Thanks guys your're being so much help through this very diffcuilt time.

Thank you

[Yurtgirl]

Hi Emma
I am a single parent, also about to commence HEing my two kids

Im not sure what the future holds either - I have two years until my youngest is 7

Quite a scary prospet I agree - but if its right for you children it has to be the thing to do

If 20% of your Xs earnings is more than £20 a week then you might be better off just getting childmaintanance from him instead of incomesupport - ie if he earns quite a bit and will pay maintanence you would be better off with that rather than income support

HTH

[emmawil37]

Hi Yurtgirl

Unfortunaley my DHs doesn't earn a great deal and appartently his job is on the line as there're having cut backs.

Did you children go to school for awhile? Its so right for my children.

[Yurtgirl]

Oh pants scrap that then

Go to job centre and apply for income support - or phone up for an appointment (probably your best bet actually)

How are you sorted for somewhere to live?
Apply for housing benefit and child tax credits

[emmawil37]

We have a lovely house so that's fine, I'll have to apply for all these benefits. Gosh I've got to get myself organised and in control I guess. That's scary!

[Roseanna123]

I know it seems scary but we did it when my husband died and the kids were really clingy (naturally) and our income was cut to third. It was brilliant! I did register as a childminder a year later to help with the bills and the bus fares, that was fun because we were already doing so much cool stuff like swimming when the pool was quiet and talking about other countries while shopping. My advice is join Education Otherwise (www.education-otherwise.org/) and get involved. Incidentally, becoming a childminder also qualifies you for tax credits etc. which really helps with the bills. Take time to adjust, losing a marriage, however it happens, is a big loss. You all need to grieve.

[emmawil37]

Thanks Roseanna I'm so sorry about your loss I can't imagie how hard that is. I am member of EO and the EO single parent yahoo group. I have just become a qualified aromatherapist so maybe I can start earning a few penny doing that. I just need to also build up my confidence that I can do it I guess.