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What do you do if you feel HE is best for your child, but they SEEM happy about returning to school in September??

(7 Posts)
loudmouthmum Thu 28-Aug-08 01:56:11

My dd is going into yr6 (she's 10 1/2). The school is REALLY not meeting her SEN or her medical problems appropriately, and I KNOW she would learn much, much more at home with me. I was going to de-register her in September/ October time. School are not putting her in for her yr6 SATS, setting her apart from the other pupils to start with. (She would have problems attaining a reasonable level on the yr2 SATS IMO). Thing is, she now seems very enthusiastic about going beck, despite the fact that even she knows there is MUCH wrong with her schooling, she wants to be with her friends. Another problem is that ds1 REALLY needs school, enjoys it too much, so she would have to go into the playground of her school twice a day every day, and I think she would start to miss her school friends quite quickly. She will spend the next year of her education being completely left behind by her peers, and won't learn half the things she could at home, where I can also look after her medical problems much more responsibly than the school are. Do I send her back and let the stuff that was happening before continue, with her getting upset again by it all, do I de-register her when she wants to be there with her friends, and how do I manage to socialise her if I do HE her, on a very limited budget, within school hours due to ds1 & ds2 and relying on public transport as I am unable to drive (epilepsy). WHAT DO I DO??!!

1dilemma Thu 28-Aug-08 02:10:12

Don't want you to not get an answer and I'm def no expert on this.

however in these cases it always seems a shame to me that you can't do 1/2 and 1/2

S1ur Thu 28-Aug-08 02:29:31

It feels to me like yu should let her go if that is what she wants.

You can continue to educate her gently yourself outside school and continue to get on the school's back about appropriate provision and health awareness.

But if she wants to go... I think she should.

Only myVHO

Runnerbean Thu 28-Aug-08 08:48:11

Where in the country are you?
Meeting your local HE group might be helpful.
Your heart and gut instinct is telling you something, listen to it.

My eldest dd's needs weren't being met but she was happy at school with lots of friends. Two years on and she has made a load of new friends as well as keeping some of her school friends.
My only regret is I didn't take her out sooner.
Have you been on the EO website?

juuule Thu 28-Aug-08 08:48:56

A difficult one.

I agree that it's possible she would miss her friends. It was very strange at first when my dd left school but I still had to pick my other children from the same school. She did get used to it, though and it did give us an opportunity to invite her friends home for tea and to keep in touch with them as I was still seeing them and their parents in the playground or outside school. So that was a good thing.

Also, your dd will only have this last year at primary. Only you know how upsetting school has been to your dd. If it's been very upsetting and likely to continue so, then I would withdraw her now.

If you think she will still get something out of this final primary year - socialising with friends, end of primary activities and assemblies, the other fun stuff they do after sats, etc then maybe let her go back and monitor how things are going but keep in mind that she doesn't have move up to secondary school when friendships etc all change anyway. And if it all starts to get distressing for her then you know you can withdraw her at any point.

I don't know if you have an active home-ed group in your area (within a bus-ride). If you have it might be worth you going along to start with and seeing how other people do things so that it's not all new to you should you decide to bring your dd out of school. Perhaps take her to a few meetings and see how she feels about it.

Also find out what other activities are available in your immediate area (not necessarilly home-ed based) and work out whether they would be do-able for you.

Once you feel more confident with things yourself you might find the decision less difficult - whichever way.

Good luck.

AbbeyA Fri 29-Aug-08 08:10:30

I would get a meeting with the school SENCO urgently. The school should be meeting her needs.She must have an IEP. You have to sign the IEP, don't sign it if you are not happy with it. Does the school bring in outside agencies to help her? Does she have a statement? It sounds as if she should have one with one to one help. I would tell the SENCO all your worries and make sure that they are giving her all possible help.

Blandmum Fri 29-Aug-08 18:50:37

Agree, see the SENCO ASAP. make an appointment to see him/her this week, if possible.

You need to agree what is on the IEP and make sure that the school is proving the support that your dd needs.

If school alone can't do it, then she needs to be moved to SA+ or a full statement.

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