Advice needed - DS (5 yrs) anxious and looking to homeschool

[mamagoo]

Hi
Im seriously considering homeschooling and would like some advice. DS if finding it extremely stressful and is now showing signs of anxiety and it's affecting his weekends.

Does anybody know where is the best place to start looking? I've looked at various websites and forums but still feel very confused.

Any help or advice is much appreciated.

[ommmward]

Look up your local county or nearest big city plus "home education" on Facebook, and ask to join the groups. you'll find there's lots going on, and plenty of people who are generous with their time and advice in your area.

[AspergersMum]

Don't know if the link will work, but Teach Yourself - home Education by Deborah Durbin is a good start. 161 pages of good info. www.amazon.co.uk/Teach-Yourself-Home-Education-TYG/dp/0340968834/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=teach%20yourself%20home%20education&qid=1571122936&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[Reikiclaire]

Hi,
This is a bit of delayed response as I just joined mumsnet. I home schooled by son from age 10 after the school started to flag him up with behavioural problems. Knowing my son I found that odd. He was diagnosed as chronic Dyselxic (with autistic tendancies) and gifted. The school were boring him making him sit in 'special' groups because he couldn't spell. We did a weeks trial without telling the school and then used a standard template to lt the school know we were withdrawing him. We wored to a timetable, his choice and though there were days I pulled my hair out it worked out well. He's now 23 had a degree in engineering design and is finishing a CAD course. For 4 I ran a home ed support group that met once a week and it was full of kids withdrawn due to anxiety over learning problems. They arrived lookig lost and confused, stressed, about 3 months later they were changed kids, engaged, happy, socialising. If you're up to the challenge (and it is a challenge) I know lots of kids who flourished in home ed.

[XelaM]

Why not just find a more nurturing school? It's such a big life decision to home ed. Why deprive you child of the opportunity of a more "normal" route in life?

[Saracen]

@XelaM, taking a break from school is not really the huge permanent decision people imagine it to be. Especially for a five year old! A child who is stressed and anxious could probably do with a relaxed environment to recover and restore his confidence, rather than potentially more of the same. Schools are different and another one might be better, but then again it might not.

School will always be available if the child decides he wants it. Many home ed kids do feel at some point that they want to try it out and experience what most other children do. It isn't difficult to arrange. Some like school and find it offers them opportunities they weren't getting at home, while others discover that it isn't right for them and return to home ed.

It was interesting for my eldest to find out what 98% of her peers were experiencing - she went to school for a while in Y5 - but she had never felt "abnormal" before or since.

School is "normal" in the sense that most people spend their formative years there. But it isn't "normal" compared with the rest of our society, the life the child has during the rest of their time and the life they will experience as adults. It is quite an artificial environment in that sense. Many of the lessons I learned at school had to be unlearned when I went out into the real world: work alone because consulting others is cheating, learn what others tell you to learn in exactly the way they tell you to do it, wait to be told where to go and when, tolerate even horrible situations because you cannot choose to go elsewhere, keep quiet when others are bullied or you'll become a victim too. Don't associate with people of a different age or gender, obey authority figures without question, sit still, verbal and sexual harassment is inescapable, pretend to like what everybody else likes.

I wouldn't even say I had a particularly hard time at school, but it's an odd institution which presents unique challenges, and develops different coping skills from those required elsewhere. In that sense it isn't a good preparation for life, except maybe life in the military or in prison.

[HairyMaclary5]

Just came across this post and wondered what you decided to do @mamagoo?

Having similar problems with my 5 year old who has become really anxious about school and it's starting to affect all of her life - sleep, wetting the bed etc. She just seems very down at the moment, and this can't be healthy at such a young age!

What in particular is causing your son's issues at school?

[DeadCucumber]

Thinking of home educating my daughter once I'm an a reasonable position to do so. Likely in about 18 months as I could not give up work just yet. I'm being assessed for autism currently, overlooked as I'm very high functioning, and she's showing some traits already. Her anxiety over school can get quite bad. She's bright, curious and loves to learn. But she is not always the same at school, she's definitely not reaching her potential and I'm watching her self esteem slowly fade in terms of school. It's so sad, it's just not the right environment for everyone.