Back to Home Ed?

[Besidetheseaside76]

I posted at the beginning of the year and went on to deregister DS (now 14 has HF Autism). By March DS asked to try another Secondary School. The first few weeks were fine but soon he was being being bullied again. School have dealt with the major incidents but he has no friends, hates some lessons due to the teachers and the way they have treated him, he is constantly verbally abused by many of his peers who see his vulnerability. We are now under Camhs, DS now diagnosed with depression and anxiety, many absence so far this term due to self harm, injuries inflicted by a group of boys in school and currently absent because he has tried unsuccessful and continues to threaten suicide if he is made to return to school. I am totally broken by this and have been signed off work by my gp as I am struggling to cope with how bad things have become. So, my plan is to deregister (again). Considering DS’s current mental state I would imagine de schooling for the rest of this school year, then private tuition next year to hopefully achieve Maths and English GCSE’s but most importantly for him to develop life skills and self esteem along the way. We farm, so career wise there will be a job available for DS at home when he is ready so formal qualifications are not so important as they might otherwise be. Mostly I just want my DS to be alive, mentally as well as he can be and coping with life. Please tell me what you think. I feel that I am so badly affected by DS’s situation that it is hard to make a rational decision.

[Saracen]

From the way you describe the situation, it sounds like home ed is the only real choice for him. Your poor lad! I hope it will make a difference to his well-being soon.

There is no hurry about doing the maths and English IGCSEs. He can take his time and start working towards them when he is ready. He doesn't have to do them in Y11 if he needs longer to recover. He can prepare for them at home at whatever age suits him, or be funded to do them at college in a few years' time if he prefers to do them that way.

[starpatch]

You could ask camhs to talk to education authority about other options eg I know tutors are available in some areas for sick children. But yes you will end up doing home ed again probably and definitely don't feel guilty about it! You are doing the very best for your DS. I've heard FE at 16 can be a bit better as the young people are more mature maybe set your DS s sights on that if he wants to go back to classes.

[Tinuviel]

As you've said that he will have a job available, he could always do the maths and English GCSEs later as evening classes. These are often very cheap as the government wants everyone to have them. We home ed and used evening classes for DS1 and DS2 - they really enjoyed it and they were mostly alongside adults rather than teens.