home education your advice needed please!!!

[ruthie21]

Appologies this may be a long one!
i am considering pulling out my 13 yr old son from school and teaching him from home. my reasons are he has been bullied at all three secondary schools he has been to and feels sick each morning when i try to make him go in. the school have been fantastic offering all kinds of solutions but of course they all involve him going in!
i am educated to a-level standard and am currently doing a degree, but am really unsure as to my abilities to teach him myself, as from september he will be doing his GCSE'S.
i have absolutley no idea how to go about with drawing him from school or what and how to teach him at home. so any advice from people on here that are or will be educating there teenagers from home would be extremly welcome!!

many thanks
Ruth

[Judy1234]

Depends on the child. I taught myself one GCSE at home but I was motivated and quite clever. It wasn't that hard and that was in the days before the internet. The GCSE syllabuses are on the ex boards web sites. Presumably you need to pay the entrance fees for the exams which we have to pay at private schools too which seems so unfair. Almost worth me registering the 5 children at a state school but not sending them in to get those free exam entrance fees paid from my taxes.

[Saturn74]

ruthie, my children are not at this age yet. There are several companies that tutor HE children through their GCSE courses, usually via the internet, I think.
You could check out education otherwise for help with this, and perhaps post on one of the yahoo lists for advice from home educators with experience of this.

[Lorina]

Ruthie I am really sorry that your son is going through this. It must be awful for all of you.

My son is also 13 so i understand what his peers can be like.

I think it might be counterproductive to remove him from school. School is about so much more than gaining exams.
You cannot protect him anymore because he is turning into a man who needs to be able to protect himself. I know its probably agony for you witnessing that process

Learning strategies for dealing with bullies at school is vital to coping with them in the workplace,as neighbours,inlaws etc.

You say the school have been fantastic so I would urge you to stick with them for now ,dont give up.

[HullaBalloo]

Ruthie, my son is nearly 13 and is home educated. He now attends an on-line school which he really enjoys and they will cover the GCSE syllabus. They can also provide part-time tutoring in specific subjects should you just need that to supplement teaching him yourself. Before this, we used study materials from CGP which are very good and reasonably priced and also cover the GCSE syllabus.
As others have mentioned Education Otherwise is a good starting point for support and information and can provide pro forma letters to use to satisfy requirements in withdrawing your son from school.In my experience I think you need to trust your instincts as to what you need to do for your son - is he keen on the idea of HE ? Also, even though he is coming up to starting his GCSE's you could perhaps consider trying HE for a while and as long as you keep up with the school syllabus, he could still go back to school at a later date if HE doesn't work out for you both.I have to say that if he is dreadfully unhappy about going to school it may be worth a try as in the long term he could end up with a negative view of education altogether and a loss of self confidence.

[HullaBalloo]

Ruthie, my son is nearly 13 and is home educated. He now attends an on-line school which he really enjoys and they will cover the GCSE syllabus. They can also provide part-time tutoring in specific subjects should you just need that to supplement teaching him yourself. Before this, we used study materials from CGP which are very good and reasonably priced and also cover the GCSE syllabus.
As others have mentioned Education Otherwise is a good starting point for support and information and can provide pro forma letters to use to satisfy requirements in withdrawing your son from school.In my experience I think you need to trust your instincts as to what you need to do for your son - is he keen on the idea of HE ? Also, even though he is coming up to starting his GCSE's you could perhaps consider trying HE for a while and as long as you keep up with the school syllabus, he could still go back to school at a later date if HE doesn't work out for you both.I have to say that if he is dreadfully unhappy about going to school it may be worth a try as in the long term he could end up with a negative view of education altogether and a loss of self confidence.

[HullaBalloo]

Ruthie, my son is nearly 13 and is home educated. He now attends an on-line school which he really enjoys and they will cover the GCSE syllabus. They can also provide part-time tutoring in specific subjects should you just need that to supplement teaching him yourself. Before this, we used study materials from CGP which are very good and reasonably priced and also cover the GCSE syllabus.
As others have mentioned Education Otherwise is a good starting point for support and information and can provide pro forma letters to use to satisfy requirements in withdrawing your son from school.In my experience I think you need to trust your instincts as to what you need to do for your son - is he keen on the idea of HE ? Also, even though he is coming up to starting his GCSE's you could perhaps consider trying HE for a while and as long as you keep up with the school syllabus, he could still go back to school at a later date if HE doesn't work out for you both.I have to say that if he is dreadfully unhappy about going to school it may be worth a try as in the long term he could end up with a negative view of education altogether and a loss of self confidence.
I'm more than happy to give you any help and support that I can.

[HullaBalloo]

So sorry about the multiple postings. There was a problem posting to your thread and I hit the post button a few times to try and make it work ! It was my aforementioned ds who came in and fixed it for me !

[Saturn74]

I agree that school is about so much more than gaining exams. But consistent bullying is counter-productive to learning, and if your son feels physically sick at the prospect of going into school, then he should be protected against that IMO.

If the school has failed to stop the bullying (despite their supportive attitude), then I think the parents need to step in to help. If home educating is an option that appeals to you all, then why not give it a try? No decision is irreversible, and your DS can always go back to school if he wants to.

Stopping bullying is so much more complex than just telling a child to protect himself.
And strategies for dealing with bullies in later life can just as easily be learnt by those being home educated - especially as they will probably come into contact with a greater range of people than if they were in school.

Rebuilding the self esteem of someone who has been consistently bullied is a long and difficult process, IME, but it is well worth the effort. My home educated children are now back to being the bright, happy and questioning people that they were before the school system failed them.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[redshoes]

Someone on an earlier thread in this topic has a dd who is a teenager and educated via an online company - LEA pays, similar situation to your son I think Ruthie - might be worth looking through the early threads. She posted a link IIRC. HTH

[redshoes]

Might have been educatingrita? Anyone remember?

[ruthie21]

thank you all for your advice the link was particulay useful and i will defo be looking at the online schooling. My son is really into the internet and pc in general.
i really would like him to stay in school but it seems as though its proving too traumatic off to do lots more investigating,
thanks again

[Julienoshoes]

Hello ruthie
I took my children out of school 6 years ago-my son was the same age as yours and had a similar story.
We are an autonomous educating family now-where we follow the childrens interests. This has included lots of time on computers and playstation, as well as lots and lots of time talking to us and other adults, what we would call, 'purposeful conversations'-he developed a little part time business on the way-selling 'wallpaper' for mobile phones and getting paid every time someone downloaded one.
Both he and my daughter decided to do a couple of GCSEs at a local FE college-he did them a year late and she a year early. They are both now doing A levels-school had predicated he might get grade D's at GCSes (because of his dylexia)-he got B's and then B grades again at As level last summer ;o)
So you might find a local FE college may help-you would have to pay as an under 16 but we managed to negoatiate a reduced rate-the FE college locally is very happy to take HE youngsters. Other home ed teens use the 'Little Arthur School' or the 'National Extension College'. Others still get the curriculum for free from the AQA website and pay to sit the exams as an outside candidate. Others often skip GCSes and go straight for A levels and others use the Ou to aim straight for a degree. depends what you fancy really and whether you can afford to pay.
Have you been in touch with other home educators in the area where you live? they may well be able to let you know what others local to you have done.
See the Education Otherwise website as previously recommended but also the very excellent home-education.org.uk/ -you can find a local contact list there as well as information about qualifications etc.
I also like home-ed.info/ which has loads of links to resources.
hth

[ruthie21]

thanks julie it all feels like a bit of a mine field at the moment but advice on here as usual has been really helpful. iam trying to get as much information as possible before we jump inyo it but the more we discuss it the more we like the idea. just need to sort out the praticalities iynwim.
thanks again
ruth

[Faith8]

Hi, it might have been my earlier post that you were referring to. My 15 year old daughter has been studying for her G.C.S.E.'s via e learning, paid for by the L.E.A. since last October. She was bullied at school and her self esteem was rock bottom, as well as suffering some O.C.D.'s. I took her to a ZAP assertiveness course with kidsacape last year and it was amazing. Since she started e learning I would consider I have my old daughter back. She is now able to get up in the mornings and is not the angry, frightened, depressed girl that she was. Take care.

[ruthie21]

hi faith thats a truly inspiring story would love to get my old son back!
have you got any information on e learning is it done via school (obviously without going in) were your local education authority supportive?
thanks Ruth

[Faith8]

Hi Ruth, it was a long hard struggle with no support from the school. At one point when my daughter could not get up from bed, I was ringing the PASTORAL CARE OFFICER (what a laugh) to update her on the progress throughout the day. On one occasion I told her that hy daughter would not be into the next lesson and was told to THROW A BUCKET OF WATER OVER HER - very helpful. I was constantly told that if she could go out in the evenings, then she should be in school and that I was to ground her. I most certainly was not going to do this, as school was the problem (and the people she was forced to interact with) and not the small group of friends she had chosen for herself. If I had kept her indoors in the evenngs then she would have become like a hermit. SORRY, thinking about it just brings it all back. To cut a very long story short, I had a letter from my G.P., who was very supportive and sent this to the head of tuition services at my L.E.A. AND A WONDERFUL WOMAN CONTACTED ME. She has been amazing, so sympathetic to my daughter and indeed myself. She arranged - after a long fight - the headteacher is still disputing it - to transfer funds from the school to this e learning scheme. The company name is ACCIPIO LEARNING, I think they are based in the Midlands, we are in South Wales and she is now studying English, Maths., Science and I.C.T.. Hope this is if some help. I could write a book about our experiences through this. Take care and I hope everything works out well for you.

[ruthie21]

hi faith
wow sounds like a struggle but a worthwhile one! i too was told to ground him but his group of friends is his only social network so i too refused to do that.
thanks for the advice i think i will contact l.E.D and see what i can acheive glad to hear it's turned out good for you and your daughter
thanks

[BeNimble]

Hello, I've actually only dipped into and glanced through this topic, but this comment from Lorina jumped out at me...
"Learning strategies for dealing with bullies at school is vital to coping with them in the workplace,as neighbours,inlaws etc"
Lorina ? did you have trouble with bullies at school, so think others should cope too?

[Runnerbean]

I was bullied relentlessly through school primary and secondary.
It crushed my self confidence and as a result I feel much less equipped to deal with it as an adult!

[Faith8]

I can understand what Lorina is saying but during one visit to my daughter's psychiatric nurse, she was told that the bullies could not be changed so she would have to and that she would have to learn to "play the game ". When we had finished the session and were outside the building my daughter told me that she would not be going to any more sessions because she didn't see why she had to change and I agree with her. This is the only time she had refused help from the agencies and individual people I had asked to help her.

[FEMMEOURS]

"Without a doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to negative influence of other people" Unknown

We were very lucky to have a great tutor/mentor for our sons doing GCSE's and A-levels. We found out that he home educates his daughters and other secondary kids. These kids were either bullied or just could not work with the present educational system. Independent thinking is taught by being instinctive. If your child can learn to assess his needs and match them up with the right resources - success. Recognising your learning style and finding the resources, the possibilities are endless. Sticking with something that does not work is draining. If it doesn't exist, create it. Best wishes,

[anastaisia]

If I was working somewhere and bullying was a problem I wouldn't expect to just put up with it. I would expect the problem to be dealt with or I would be looking for another job.

I absolutely wouldn't expect my children to have to learn to deal with ongoing and persistant bullying. How is someone supposed to enjoy learning and do their best in situation like that.

I think its great that you're dealing with it by listening to your DS and showing him that he doesn't just have to keep going and put up with being treated that way - I think that knowing he has choices and deserves to be happy with his life will be more character building than learning to 'cope' in a longterm unpleasant situation could ever be.

Only have a little one so don't have much advice about GCSEs other than - you don't have to do as many as schools offer; if your DS has an idea of what he wants to do/where he wants to go post 16 get in touch with them and find out what he needs as a minimum to get on to the courses he wants. Then find out what extra-curricular activities/clubs/work experience type things will help him to stand out, and where things like portfolios could be shown instead. Then just do the minimum number GCSEs (and any he's actually interested in) alongside these other things.

Also, you might like to check out the HE-exams yahoo group.

[AandO]

As a person who was bullied all through secondary school I would recommend taking him out, yes school is about more than education but years of bullying shatters confidence and leaves a person messed up for years. Plus becasue of bullying in school I performed badly academically as I selected to write off school in my mind and block it out...this has large consequences for life as I had to wait until I had sorted out my head before going to uni as a mature student.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

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