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Does it get easier?

(9 Posts)
JustAWeeProblem Sun 17-Jan-16 21:56:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knittingwithnettles Sun 17-Jan-16 23:40:17

Sounds like sleep is a real issue. Would you like them both to go to bed at the same time? That is a possibility - rejigging the bedtimes..either keeping one up a bit later or the other having an earlier routine.

Also, a few hours in nursery doesn't mean you cannot home educate at primary level? Does you little ones go to any playgroups with you there too? Perhaps just being with other people is important for them too.

knittingwithnettles Sun 17-Jan-16 23:41:26

sorry, grammar, DO your little ones, not Does...

JustAWeeProblem Mon 18-Jan-16 09:13:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ommmward Mon 18-Jan-16 16:52:03

Get yourself hooked into your local home ed network. It's amazing how much less wearing small children are once you've got a gang of people you know to help you entertain them smile

On bedtimes: we are unschoolers too. And bedtimes can slip. But we have things we want to do - social or educational activities that happen early in the morning a couple of times a week. So actually there is a big incentive for me not to be tired and jetlagged for those mornings. So I DO get everyone out of bed in the morning (gently and slowly when needed), and we DO have a rhythm that brings the children towards bed at a certain point of the day. Regular sleep patterns that coincide as much as possible with day light and dark are much healthier than night owl sleep patterns - look at how people who do night shifts sometimes never recover from that disordered sleep. So that's part of the conversation with the children, and having a calendar to look forward to what is happening tomorrow, so we need to go to bed in 15 minutes in order to be well rested for that. Unschooling doesn't mean laissez faire - it means not assuming the top down answer is correct, but also not self-sacrificing (because that never ends well). And not getting enough sleep because a child has a preference for staying up late, well that's not sustainable. So child either has to learn to be safe playing in their room on their own, or be reasoned with about going to sleep earlier, or get to the bottom of whether there is a sensory processing issue making it hard to get to sleep (melatonin production working normally? If on autistic spectrum, it may well not be)

JustAWeeProblem Mon 18-Jan-16 17:17:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ommmward Mon 18-Jan-16 17:20:41

Yes, it gets infinitely easier as the children get older smile

There comes a magical point where you can usually have a rational discussion with them about whatever everyone is disagreeing about. Somewhere around 7 years old is normal I think (I mean, glimmers of it before, but really pretty settled by 7).

Saracen Tue 19-Jan-16 01:15:03

Yes. Yes, it gets MUCH MUCH easier. But it might be a while coming.

Some parents find the peak of difficultness is when children are really tiny. Others find it is when they are maybe three. Others when their kids are four. Depends on the child and on the family situation. Some kids with special needs become more challenging when they are older, stronger, faster, more able to resist. My older dd was most tiring around the age of 4-5. The little one has never been much trouble.

This isn't a home ed problem, I don't think. It's a parenting-little-children problem. Many people who've had children in school and out of school report that on balance, school does not provide the respite you might imagine. Yes, the kids are off your hands for a certain number of hours a day. But there is a price to pay. The stress created by school may outweigh the "time off" for you. School might be the easier option, but it might not.

My older daughter only went to school for one term. But it was a less than restful experience. We HAD to get there twice a day and be on time, even when little sister wanted feeding or was puking or had a hospital appointment or hadn't slept all night and had finally just gone to sleep, or when the two girls were having a great time playing together and didn't want to stop. We also had to make sure she had the right clothes and equipment with her at all times. It's relentless.

What's more, because we only had a few hours together, it felt like it had to be quality time. And the few hours we did get together came just when the kids were tired and hungry and I was tired and hungry and busy. If I got a bit cross with her then it blighted the entire day, because there wasn't time to make it up before she was hustled off to bed or out the door again.

I don't think home education has ever been really hard for me. It's the parenting that has been hard sometimes.

Mumstheword21 Tue 19-Jan-16 16:38:48

Yes to what Sarcen is definitely the ages rather than a home ed thing!!

One year olds are tricky. I found that the 1.5-3 age was most difficult with more than one as it was the age where as toddlers they were fully aware and wanting to join in, walking (and talking, though at varying degrees from 1-2) yet not really able to do the things they wanted and especially unsupervised!!

When your little one is 3 or so, just being able to spend half an hour at a time to do whatever you need with the older one while little one plays play doh, glues and sticks, plays cars, plays in a den etc... (the list will be much more exhaustive by then!!!) will make a huge difference and you might find that you get a couple of really good opportunities during the day where one or both and engaged in whatever they are doing to catch up on things that you need. Also, they will be able to play together and this is when you really do come out of the fog!!

Omm is also completely right regarding the HE groups, especially some of the stay and play or park/hall meets. I know that going to a pre school structured music class (for example, insert whatever activity you have stopped going to!!) might be stressful, but going to a free-play meet will mean that they are supervised but that you and them are under far less pressure all around, with lots of other lovely home eders who will also re-assure you too.

Sounds like you are doing a great job!

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