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4yr old not settling

(6 Posts)
Mumtobe2ndtime Wed 25-Nov-15 12:45:29

I am looking for some advice. Our 4yr old started school in September. He didn't take well to being there all day and so between us and the school decided for him to do half days. He was still very disruptive, causing damage to school property and can get violent. He is the sweetest boy at home but when he gets upset and passes his tipping point can be very difficult to calm down.
He is now staying till lunch, goes in to school ok but becomes very quiet and does not like entering the class room. The school find it hard to look after him on a one to one basis and he disrupts the class and does not seem to be enjoying it at all.
He has mentioned being picked on by one boy in his class which I have informed the school about. He just doesn't cope with having to do as he is told and changing from one activity to the next. He will not sit still at carpet time.
Unless I see him in the enviroment and what upsets him I am at a loss as to what I can do. My sister has said to ask the school to give him one to one supervision if that is what he needs? Is there an underlying behavioral issue that causes his inability to cope? Is it the school? Do I try somewhere else? I don't think keeping him out of school would do him any good. Is the class too big and feels lost maybe and this is for the attention he wants? He is bright, enjoys doing school work and reading at home. The school have been very patient but I don't think calling him a naughty boy and asking him to change his behavior is going to change anything almost 12 weeks in to school now and no change.
Do I go see a professional? Should the school help with this?
I would love to hear from other mums who have had similar experiences whom may be able to help. It is so upsetting that my poor boy is not happy, I try and work full time but I am there for him whenever he needs me. Work is suffering, home life is suffering because I have to work from home to catch up when the kids go to sleep. M also seems to be getting in bed with us every night now, is scared of being on his own and I don't want his bubbly self confidence to be destroyed over this.

VagueIdeas Wed 25-Nov-15 12:55:54

It does sound more extreme than finding it hard to settle in, which is normal of course. Is he a very young 4? When was his birthday?

Have the school mentioned having him assessed due to the violence and difficulties in following instructions, sitting still, etc?

Mumtobe2ndtime Wed 25-Nov-15 14:24:57

They have suggested speaking to some behavioral advisers which they have been chasing for 3 weeks now, which I have today requested they escalate it. He was born in May.
Maybe I can find my own professionals assess him? Where do I start, local council? GP maybe?

VagueIdeas Wed 25-Nov-15 14:34:29

GP would be the place to start. I feel for you, you must be so worried.

Saracen Wed 25-Nov-15 20:40:16

Sorry to hear your little guy is having such a hard time!

You've posted on the Home Education board. I guess this was by mistake, as you've said that you don't want to take your son out of school? You may get more replies if you post elsewhere so as to catch the eye of more parents who have experience of resolving such problems while keeping a child at school.

Good luck!!

Fizrim Wed 25-Nov-15 20:44:51

Have you been speaking to the school SENCO? Can they refer him to the appropriate agency (or is that what they have already done?). Has he had any problems previously in group settings or toddler groups?

Hope you get it sorted soon, must be so stressful for you both.

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