Go out more. The laundry still piles up, but much of the housework is eliminated if nobody is at home messing the place up.
I know this is a fairly unpopular view, but I never made my kids tidy up when they were small. As you say, that's a long and stressful process. I don't buy the idea that you must start when they are young or they'll never do it, any more than I think you have to make them start reading or leaving their parents at four or they'll never want to do it.
It was easier to start when they were old enough to be reasonably competent at it and understand which side their bread was buttered on. "I don't think I'll have time to take you swimming this afternoon unless I can get the bedroom tidied up and all the washing hung out" may not cut it with a 2yo but works a treat with a 9yo.
Definitely go out more . Also embrace the dirt - the house doesn't have to be perfect and I find even the kids eventually say 'Mummy! No playing! Must clean floor very dirty!' which I then embrace like Mary Poppins on speed and we all have fun cleaning I'll let you know how it turns out long term, but it works for now DH and I both have a naturally high mess tolerance though, I know not everyone can do it. I also think that for that to work, all of the houses adults need to participate in cleaning, otherwise the kids just see it as one persons job and wonder why they're not doing it.