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Urgent advice please!!

(9 Posts)
Ollyoscar18 Mon 09-Feb-15 18:49:55

I took decision last week to start HE my youngest DD. Just received letter from the Head Teacher confirming she has been "deregistered". But she also wants to know what we want the school to tell other children who may ask where my DD is. Given that this Head has completely destroyed my DD's confidence, motivation and happiness and has consistently refused her the help which her Statement contained, I feel really angry that she wants to know what to say to other pupils about my DD. My instinct is to ask her to tell the truth to the children, that she (and her staff) intentionally caused my DD distress, confusion and isolation. Realistically though, I know she will not do this. But any advice on how I should reply to her enquiry would be much appreciated please. She also had the audacity to finish her letter by wishing us and our DD "well in the future"....again this is quite infuriating when she knows that she (and the school) have caused my DD ill-health since November and have refused to discuss the matter. The woman is a disgrace to her profession, but from what I have read, it would appear to be not uncommon.

Moonwatching Mon 09-Feb-15 19:35:22

Sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time at DD's school! sad

Perhaps it's a courtesy thing, despite all the other stuff, of finding out if you're happy for the other pupils to know DD's being home educated confused Strange though.

So I'd go for 'thanks for confirming that DD has been deregistered in your letter of date x. If her former classmates ask after her, we are happy for you to say she is being home educated' OR 'you may inform them she is being educated elsewhere'. I'm guessing friends already have contact details, but if not you could perhaps include an email address you're happy to be given to classmates? But obviously then you don't control who has it...

ommmward Mon 09-Feb-15 20:07:33

Tell her "If other children answer, please tell them the truth: that in order for her now to thrive both educationally and socially, we have withdrawn her from school in order to educate her ourselves"

Heh. That'll go down well with all the other Mums and Dads, still busily saying "but you [i] have [/i] to go to school - it's the law!".

ommmward Mon 09-Feb-15 20:07:53

I mean ask not answer. Gah.

Ollyoscar18 Mon 09-Feb-15 20:39:35

Thanks that really helps. My gut feeling is to ask the Head to tell the children the truth if they ask. But this is a woman who has been so malicious and deceitful for over 14 months, and knowingly has caused my DD's health/underlying medical condition to deteriorate. I therefore doubt she will want to start telling the truth now. I think I will try to pre-empt things by also telling her that we will be truthful with anyone that asks about DD, so hopefully she will realise that honesty is the best policy!

mugglingalong Mon 09-Feb-15 20:50:18

She has no power over you or your dd anymore so it doesn't matter what she says. I would just acknowledge the derigistering and ask her to say that dd will be HE, brief, factual and not engaging. She is part of your past not the future. Good luck.

Saracen Tue 10-Feb-15 09:29:51

It is odd, but you can't fault her for (finally) appearing to be polite and sensible even if you are wondering what her ulterior motives are and you're full of fury over her past misdeeds. Think how much angrier you would be if she'd written you a nasty letter instead.

I'd just say, "Please tell them that she is being home educated."

windypolar Tue 10-Feb-15 11:09:07

I'd just say, "Please tell them that she is being home educated."

As would I. I wouldn't add anything else.

fuzzpig Tue 10-Feb-15 11:15:43

I agree, just tell them they can say she is being home educated now. Unfortunately you don't have a hope in hell of getting them to admit WHY your DD needs to leave the school, so I honestly wouldn't bother trying sad best just to leave it all behind I think.

If there's any school friends you want to keep in touch with, I'd try to tell those parents ASAP yourself.

Hope your DD will be much happier now. I'm just sorting out some childcare issues and then pretty soon we will be starting our HE adventure too smile

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