what life skills do you wish to develop in your child?

[TinkerLula]

Which life skills are important do you think? What about personality traits to encourage? So I'm thinking along the lines of anything from teaching them to be able to cook or swim to developing emotional intelligence.
What do you deem to be important and what might you do to develop the skill?

I'm putting this in home ed but can be answered by anyone really. Just brainstorming & seeing if there are areas I haven't thought of. Thanks:)

[MamaMed]

Practical things like
Cleaning
Cooking
Shopping
Having fun
Etc

Other more soft skills like
Greeting
Holding a conversation
Hosting
Holding difficult conversations
Being assertive
Having confidence
Etc

[maggi]

How to:
Have manners
Speak clearly with a wide vocab
be assertive
have a set of morals (possibly religion)
be inclusive and kind
do research and evaluate data/results
fill out official forms
find help from organizations
do a cv/succeed at interviews
pick a career
look after a home
care for themselves (food, health, hygiene)
take exams (they may want to later even if they are set against it now)
complain or get action on an issue (such as knowledge of contacting an MP)
health and safety (from internet danger to accessing a qualified workman)
budgeting and money management
have relationships and sex
value others
develop their interests/hobbies
do some sports or keep active
type and use the net

Also you need to teach lots and lots of general knowledge.

[Nigglenaggle]

Independance. How to get out and about in slightly unsavoury places being wary but not afraid. How to get home from wherever you find yourself and how to get to the next adventure. What to do if you can smell gas or your frying pan sets alight. How to get along with people who wouldn't be your first choice of pal. How to work out what to do when the unexpected happens. How to apply for a job and work out if they paid what they promised and have sorted out your tax correctly. Your legal rights when they try to screw you over. How to be a good employee and work well in a team. But most of all I hope my children will learn to be happy living alone with their own company, so that they wait for the right person and don't jump into one unsuitable relationship after another to fight the loneliness.

[TinkerLula]

Interesting the one about living alone with their own company. My son is very dependent on constant company and hates being alone. He has always been this way, but I agree its important to have inner resourcefulness if that is even a real word!! Not sure how to get him to work on this.

[greenbananas]

I love these lists.

I don't home educate, am just lurking on this board because I would like to...

My mum used to say that the most important things you can give any child are confidence and self-esteem.

She was a head teacher - the sort of "super-head" that got drafted in to save failing schools - so she was pretty well-informed about children's rights to various aspects of educational and social provision. She felt that, from a child's point of view, confidence and self-esteem underpinned absolutely everything else, from academic achievements and life skills to emotional intelligence and making good relationships. The more I think about it, the more I agree.

[skolastica]

Not a home-ed person - but - I think that the ability to build and maintain relationships - social skills - is hugely important. I was happy for my children to be middle of the road academically and I put more emphasis on the ability to relate to others and work in a group.

[oneboy3girls]

Being able to do things alone if need be eg. go on holiday or to a museum or just ask a someone for directions.

[Thinking2014]

Not to be ignorant. Even if they don't like something, they should find out about it anyway! Knowledge is the key.

I can only guide my children. They make their own choices & mistakes & hopefully will learn from them.

As long as they're happy then im happy.

[T25daisy]

greenbananas I totally agree with your mum about self-confidence underpinning everything:)

[morethanpotatoprints]

capable of independent thought, independent learner, to be happy with themselves and own company.
good relationships, manners. To be caring and sensitive to others needs.
Loads more, but too tired tonight

[Saracen]

It would be a massive list!

I haven't really felt it was something I had to plan for, as it all arises naturally eventually and will cross my mind, if not this year then next year or the year after. Whenever I think of something, or the kids do, we talk about it or work on it.

In discussions with my friends, I've noticed that the things each person says are important are often those issues with which we expect our own child to struggle. Everything else will "just happen". So, one of my children often misunderstands people and makes social gaffes, so we work on social cues and expected behaviours - something I never had to do with her sister (to whom it came naturally), and therefore never used to consider important!! It's high up on my priorities for her. Five years ago that wouldn't even have appeared on my list.

[Inkspellme]

empathy, resilience, perseverance and kindness would all be high on my list.

[DoveOfPeace]

That failure isn't the worst thing ever. How to cope with not being the best at everything, so that their world isn't shattered if they come second at something. They are summed up by more than a set of exam results.

How to cook some simple meals, and how to do general housework properly.

How to budget. How to be as financially independent as possible - Never lend more money than thry can afford to lose. That you don't need to spend a lot of money to have fun or feel happy.

That I will always be there for them, and will give advice IF they want it.

THEY WILL NEVER BE TOO OLD FOR A CUDDLE WITH THEIR MUM

That they are an individual, and should make choices that make them happy, not make decisions that suit others, and are detrimental to them.

[TheHoneyBadger]

courage and ingenuity - the ability to see opportunities and ways to make the best of them. knowledge of their own skills and how to apply them in situations as well as being able to see the strengths of others and encourage them to make the best of them. knowing it's ok to be different and walk your own path and that it's ok for others too so that they become someone who helps others to be themselves and be happy as well.

independent thinking and creativity which in itself produces a load more skills such as problem solving, business acumen, ability to work/play in a wide range of scenarios or locations etc.

cultural sensitivity and awareness and an ability to read people and situations and to be flexible and adaptable and considerate and respectful to others.

good social skills and the ability to make friends and contacts now and in the future for both personal and professional fulfillment.

some of that sounds wanky i know.

[Nigglenaggle]

I like every bit of your list, badger, wanky or not

[TheHoneyBadger]

thanks niggle

i really think our children are going to need to be able to be self employed and find their own ways of making money and finding opportunities in the world and not be passive little blobs. it's part of why my son isn't in school as i believe it creates the opposite of what one is going to need to thrive in the world that is emerging now.

now that did sound wanky - i even said 'one'

[CalpolOnToast]

I agree with HoneyBadger mostly...

I want my son to be able to do something that will reliably earn him money
To be curious about what's around him
To be able to do something to a high standard, maybe the same thing as above, maybe not
To know enough economics etc to know when he's being ripped off by businesses or governments
To be able to fix and make stuff
To be able to work in a group or on his own
To be pleasant to be around

[TheHoneyBadger]

i think that 'something' will have to be flexible calpol - as in be able to identify things they can do that can make money at that time, or things they can organise, or people they can connect or whatever to make money at that time itms. that ability to see opportunities and missing links and ways of making things work and connecting things up. all the other things you list play into that - especially the pleasant to be around funnily enough i reckon.

[CalpolOnToast]

Yes that's true. I describe myself as a writer but what that really means is I can write better than average, understand print and digital media, have a lot of knowledge about an industry with a lot of money sloshing around... OTOH my DH can drive trucks and operate farm machinery, that's not his passion though.

[TheHoneyBadger]

passion or not there's a fair few doors opened for 'earning money'.

likewise with you -a skill, some knowledge and awareness and some networking and willingness to adapt will make a living.

neither of you got what you have from school.